It’s a sad truth that not all relationships end in the most amicable of ways. Whether it was your decision to end things with your ex, or he broke your heart, there reaches a point where both of you have to move on.
Unless one of you ups sticks and moves across the country, it’s likely that, now and again, you’re going to bump into your ex. And, on these unfortunate occasions, it’s important that you get it right. When you run into your past, the ultimate goal is to make the experience as gracious, yet brief, as possible.
If he broke your heart
When the guy you’d pinned your every hope and dream on and adored with all your heart metaphorically tears it out and runs away with it, it feels like the worst thing in the world. Your outlook may seem bleak and, at times, it might seem almost impossible to pick yourself up and carry on. A lifetime of chocolates in bed might seem like the only option.
There’s no denying it’s a heart-wrenching period of your life and, although it may not seem like it, you will recover from this. Surround yourself with positive people and cram your days with fun activities; live every day like it’s your last and soon your ex will begin to fade from memory.
So, the next time you see the man who emotionally destroyed you, put on a brave face, smile and make sure your behaviour tells him “I’m great”. Then move on. He’ll soon see what he’s lost.
If you called it a day
Ending a relationship can be a difficult decision. In the early stages after a break-up, it is best for you to take a clean break from one another. Everyone handles break-ups differently; however, it is likely that your ex will go through a number of stages: denial, hurt, anger, confusion, questioning, acceptance and further hurt.
Exes-as-friends can work, if enough time has passed and there’s absolutely no romantic feeling left on either side. However, exes-as-friends can make things tricky for new relationships and may cause a stir with your new partner. Stay in touch on some level, but respect your new partner’s feelings and concerns.
Dealing with his ex
A somewhat futile wave of paranoia may sweep over you each time his ex’s name is uttered. Knowing that your partner is in touch with his ex can be intimidating, but the key word to remember here is “ex” – she is no longer his present or future and is his ex for a reason.
If it’s any consolation, his ex is probably more intimidated by you; the man she once had is now yours. Be considerate of her feeling and at all times, be pleasant; don’t hand her any ammunition to use against you.
Your partner should do everything he can to make you feel comfortable and reassured that you’re all he wants, whenever you’re around her. Just be your usual lovely self and don’t make her an unnecessary enemy. Trust your man, he’s yours now.
For further tips on throwing away your relationship baggage, and more great dating and relationship advice, take a look at the new advice site on match.com
