Relationship Advice

Arguing and having little falling outs is all part of being in a relationship. It’s a side effect of sharing your life with someone. While it might not be the most beneficial thing in the world, it’s a constant just like the unconditional support that partners give each other.

An argument is natural and bound to happen, sooner or later. Let’s not dwell on that, instead what we need to remember when bickering happens  that communication is key, but it is far from the only factor to consider. Sometimes having moments from the past to remind each other about the long journey it took to get to where you are, is enough to lighten things and let cooler heads prevail.

Words, They Mean Everything.

What makes me go all nostalgic is an old fashioned letter. In the era of email and texting, I don’t think holding onto it makes me a relic of the past, far from it. I mean, as long as it’s something that I have an emotional connection to, like the words written in it – it’s priceless. In fact, I take it with me whenever I have a business trip. That’s because I received it when I was away for six months.

A long distance relationship, is no easy thing – we argued a lot. It was separation anxiety but it didn’t change how we treated each other. Over the phone, our discussions would get heated and sometimes we would get mad at each other.  It was silly but it still happened.

One particularly difficult conversation, where she wanted me to go home for the week ended in ashes. We stopped talking for a few days, that is until I got a surprise in the mail. I mean, who even sends honest to god, hand written letters these days? It was thoughtful and sweet; it reminded me of her in every way. It gave me the strength to man up, and call her – to apologize about the hasty things that were said in the heat of the moment.

Even to this day, I keep an entire drawer full of hand written – heartfelt letters and she does the same with my letters. Reading them one by one tells a story, our story and it’s our reminder to ourselves of everything we’ve been through. I mean there is no better person to tell you, how you’ve felt about each other then yourselves. It’s like a diary of sorts, only to each other.

When things get tough in our marriage, we only need to remind ourselves with these tokens of the past to get through it. It’s not a magic pill that will automatically fix things, it’s a symbol of our love and devotion to each other and the challenges we faced and have already conquered.

Photos, A Timeless Moment Captured Forever

I know it’s cliche, but around my house there are pictures, a lot of them in fact. Their indisputable expressions of everything my wife and I, have gone through over the years. When arguments get nasty or maybe just some overblown bickering about the garbage, they serve as a subtle calming effect. It happens in the back of my mind. Like it’s saying, hey, we went here and did this; weren’t those happy times? If I try hard enough there will certainly be more of them.

Of course, when subtle reminders don’t work, there are heavier guns to use in the game of nostalgia. My wife and I have created a number of photo albums over the years. Every now and then after a painful disagreement we make a conscious choice to leaf through them together. It’s our ritual, it keeps our marriage strong. One of our favorites has to do with my proposal and our wedding. It’s something we carefully put together a few months after our honeymoon. Back then we put so much time into it that; it could probably pass for something a professional has done, one of those magnificent photo productions wedding albums.

All in all, seeing myself bent over on one knee while seeing the shock and surprise on her face does wonders for my mood. Mainly because they’re bunched together with all kinds of moments where we’re smiling – like young lovers in love. It doesn’t hurt that she looks ever so lovely in her wedding dress. There are even letters we wrote to each other to use as the introduction and ending, as if the album was a book.

We may no longer be young, but we are still very much in love. When things get tough, sometimes it’s hard to remember the good times, the great times but a cherished memento like the photo album we created can make us realize the important things in life. My love for her, and her love for me.

In love with two men? Fall in love with your friend? Crazy ex? Just break up? ……

Are you struggling in your relationship? Desperate, even?

Do you notice that your relationship problems always revolve around the same old issues and it seems that we’re always searching for the ultimate answer?

Moving from one relationship to the next, partner changes, but the questions remain the same.

To some extent, they’re never fully answered, simply because people are different and humans are emotional beings. When it comes to relationships, logic doesn’t work.

I don’t intend to show you a way to solve all specific relationship problems; they’re endless. The same question is different in different relationships. But I want to help you with my own experiences and knowledge. So, if you listen a little closer, you might be able to extract the meaning behind the words.

Your Precious Past Relationship Experiences

Your own previous relationship experiences are the first hand real world knowledge that will help you work out your current relationship. Don’t neglect and waste them. They’re more vivid than any theory and they can help you to understand your situation fully.

You never lose anything or anybody; rather, you gain experiences. They’re treasures.

Do you learn from your previous relationships? I do and I try to avoid replicating the failures, however, I realize that relationships are more complicated than we think at first. It’s not a leisure recreation, but a learning curve.

Do we interpret our previous relationships in the “right” way? Unfortunately, we all see things differently. A negative thinker may not reach a positive conclusion from his previous experiences.

When you cannot think straight, you need guidance.

Formula that Helps You Solve Relationship Problems

Learning about temperaments is the first step to using your precious past experiences positively, helping you understand yourself and others, and solving current relationship problems that relate to temperaments.

There’re thousands of relationship books that mention temperaments if you search on Amazon. Many are similar. Reading too many will confuse you. I’ll save you the time by sharing the one that inspired me to create this blog. It not only helped me solve my own relationship confusions, but also made me capable of helping others.

It’s called “Please Understand Me II” by David Keirsey.

If you don’t really get the essence of the temperament theory, the book will be yet another personality book that only entertains you in the short-term.

However, once you grasp its core, you will find the life path in front of you suddenly broadening, becoming a boulevard. The theory is almost a magic formula that solves relationship problems.

Everyone knows Myers Briggs, but it’s David Keirsey who points out why some relationships don’t work.

We communicate in two fundamental “languages”: “abstract language” and “concrete language”. Abstract thinkers talk about the invisible ideas, while concrete thinkers talk about the things in front of their eyes.

If you read this far, then you are an abstract thinker, because only an abstract thinker will be interested enough to read this article written in abstract language naturally by me, an abstract thinker.

Does this answer your question why you and your partner are having relationship problems?

What Does the Future Hold?

You have read the book “Please understand me II”, related your precious past experiences, and learned about the temperament interpretation “magic formula”. These are scientific and logical approaches that will help solve your relationship problems.

Now you have one more question left on your mind: What does the future of your relationship hold?

I am into dream analysis and hand psychology. Yes, we can also approach relationship problems in an intuitive way that science and logic may not be able to reach or explain.

I try to note down my dreams the first thing in the morning when I wake up, because they tend to be forgotten a few minutes later, especially the detail. Then I would research the meanings of the symbols in my dreams.

Sometimes I’m amazed by the dreams’ interpretations. The meanings differ from the obvious ones, because dream symbols have very different meanings from their literal ones. It’s really a combination of science and art, more complicated than just temperaments. It’s so fascinating that I am thinking of trying a clairvoyant reading online.

My Own Clairvoyant Talents

As an intuitive person myself, I have subconsciously foretold a few future events. It is frightening when you have a vision, but it is real and I want to explore this side of myself a little more.

I have to believe that other people also have visions and it seems that such visionaries have different abilities. I can feel a personal future event using my sixth sense or I have to be there in advance to feel a future event that’s not directly related to me, and the premonition happens randomly. In other words, I cannot foretell the future deliberately.

I believe that some other visionaries can foretell the future deliberately. If they practise their clairvoyant skills, they might be able to see the future through their five senses.

Solving YOUR Relationship Issues

Interpreting your past experiences negatively, reading many confusing books and listening to the wrong clairvoyant are all as bad as dating the wrong person.

You need to interpret your past relationships positively, find that one book which will help you to learn about people’s temperaments, and you need to find the right clairvoyant to give you spiritual guidance.

It never hurts to ask for a referral and if you try an online reading, it never hurts to check out the customer rating and review. Last, but by no means least, you should only pursue the idea of a clairvoyant if you are really ready to know your future.

I myself would prefer to know only one aspect of it, rather than everything. It’s interesting to have something to expect, but it’s important to have most of my future life remain mysterious to me.