Relationship Advice

Do you believe that a book can change one’s life? I do and it does. It’s called “Please understand me” and it has two versions....

Please understand me (more...)

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Tagged: Ex-Lover, Personality, Relationship, Relationship Book, Temperament

Pages: 1 2 3 4

• Unknown says:
  November 27, 2009 at 3:32 pm -

  Your letter was the perfect thing for me at this time in my life. Thank you for taking the time to write such a heartfelt piece.

  Ever since I can remember, I have always had a curiosity for this deep inner knowing of “Self”. This all consuming and magnificent obsession has driven me to find new answers about human behavior. I recently ran across the “Please Understand Me 2” book and found that I was a Champion/Healer Idealist temperament.

  I am struggling at the moment with a similar feeling of loneliness and alienation. I live in one of the most conservative and traditional areas in the country and find myself constantly curious about others behavior.

  I ended up marrying a traditional Provider Guardian and have just really realized that I have tried to change her for the last 7 years of our marriage. I am deeply longing for connection and a “soul mate”, an understanding and a genuine sense that I am known (as described in the Idealist mates profile).

  How do I deal with the fact that the person I am with doesn’t understand or maybe even isn’t possible of understanding what I am longing for in a connection with her? When I bring it up or try to communicate in any way it is perceived that we are just different and maybe not meant for each other.

  I am at a loss and feel like you may have some insights about relationships dealing with this sort of dilemma. Specifically, about the internal struggles of the Idealist understanding the specific temperament of their mates, but resentful that their perceived notion cannot reciprocate the understanding. I guess what I want to know is, what do we do now that we know more about ourselves and the motivations that drive our sense of self. How can I address the loneliness?

• Min Min says:
  November 27, 2009 at 3:32 pm -

  Loneliness is probably a lifelong feeling being with you. Only other like-minded people are possible of understanding you. Try to make friends with those who are like you.

• Pharmacy Technician says:
  December 4, 2009 at 10:34 am -

  good article as usual!