Tags: Lover vs Parents
This entry was posted on Thursday, October 19th, 2006 at 14:18 You can follow any advice to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave an advice. Pinging is currently not allowed.
Boyfriend vs Parents
Tags: Lover vs Parents
im a 16 yr old….my bf is 29…nw u knw the problems…plz pray for me
ok. under 18 year olds need to stop commenting on this page. Ill tell you exactly whats going to happen. You will run away with the “love of your life” the realities of bills and supporting yourself will hit you and you will realize that your parents had the right idea. I know you think that you are super independent now that you can drive but honestly, you have never lived on your own and have not yet had to deal with adult responsibilities. Until you can support yourself, listen to your parents. They love you and only have your best interests at heart.
oh and to the 16 year old with the 29 year old boyfriend. Hes sick in the head, im pretty sure thats illegal. get out of that relationship you don’t know what you are getting in to.
same here. I'm 20 n my bf is 29. he has made a lot of effort to get my parents' approval regarding our relationship. our relationship is a bliss. we have no problems accept my parents. for some reasons they disapprove. i think it's partly because he's not highly educated, therefor it's hard for him to be on the same page with them, i.e during conversations. but mostly because of me (i think) because of my past relationships. i used to date those 'bad boy' kind of guys. they brought alot of problems. but this time is different. my bf is the best man i've ever met. unfortunately i think my parents no longer think that i'm capable of making the right choice for my self. my bf n i have been together for more than a year now. and we're planning to get married next year. i just dont know how get my parents to approve. fortunately, his family supports us. so i guess i will have to find a way. i know i can never let him go. i love my parents, i really do. but i have to make them realize that this is my life. and i am aware of the consequences of my decisions. they just have to trust me for myself…
I really think that maybe her parents not like him now if you know its for your own good i think it would be better for you to stop talking to him cause hes not good enough for you leave him right now im trying very hard myself to forget that guy that my parents didnt like either i now know i know if i would have listened to them at the beginning i wouldnt be here crying..
You cant help who you care about. if it is love then you pursue it. dont hide you feelings!
…Look sweetie im in the same boat,
me and my bf have been together 6 months.
My parents hate him yet they dont know him.
I personally say dont listen to your parents listen to your heart.
How old ru. I will be 18 in 2 months so im not listening to my parents.
If you love your bf dont let him go
because thats what your parents want. Do whats best for you
if you need anymore advice you can send me an email
hi im 18 and having the same problems plzz help me!!!
ps.i knw im a little late
If you are seriously in love with this boy and you want it to last but you dont want your parents to be mad then do something to show them how much you love him.
im not saying elope or anything because that just makes matters worse talk to your parents tell them that you love him and shout it if you have to do what you can to be with him. but dont leave your parents in the dust.
Look, I am in the same boat as you.
I have a boyfriend that my mom can’t stand.
But if you love him then do what you think is best for you. No one can live your life but you.
If you really want to be with him let him know.
But be careful because he might not be any good for you.
Damn babe. dats tuff stuff but imma tell u wut i did.
I wrote my parents a letter (it works betta cuz day listen) and i told him dat to me it didn’t matter wut he be lookin like or wut he did in da past. wut matters is dat no matter wut, for da past 8 months, he’s been dere for me. he gave me respect an luv when i didn’t deserve it an all day needed to do was give him a chance an see wut he was really like. day me him and now we go out wit each others familia an we have a good time. my parents really luv him cuz day took da time to listen. i don’t know if ur sleepin wit him but if u are don’t let ur parents kno cuz you won’t be seein dat boi fo a while. if ya not don’t cuz betrayin ya parents ain’t kool and if
day like mine they’ll luv u anyway but imma a virgin so ya. it’s worth waitin for. anyway…tlk to em and tell em dat u luv dis boi and you’ll do anything to be wit him. it doesn’t matter wut day say cuz he treats u right and all u want is to be happy and he makes you feel dat way. holla at me if ya wanna chat.
Just do what your heart says because in a situation like this your brain can end up making the wrong decision. Your heart knows who you love and
which path to follow. Sooner or later your parents will understand. They will eventually relize just how much you love him. If it is true love then you will be together no matter what. If Romeo and Juliet can do it then you can too. Just think though they had a harder time trying to hide whats inside from their own families. They would do anything for each other, they had something, a bond, and they were soul mates. If you and your boyfriend are ment to be then nothing will stop you from seeing each other and you will find a way to be together in the end.
hope this helps,
BRANDI
Girl if you really like this dude listen to your heart
I’ve been there too but i listen to my heart and didn’t let my parents stop our relationship so listen to your heart and dont let the boy go
Sit down and talk to your parents and tell them about why u love him so much tell them how he makes you feel ask them how they would feel if their parents said they couldnt have each other and if that doesnt work go with your fist instinct
Hey I know how you feel i was with someone for 2 years and i had to hide it at first they liked him but now they dont b/c how he treated me
but if your relatonship is fine then go with it your parents are not the ones who are wantin
to marry him or be with him so forget what they say and live your life loving who you want to love
I know how u feel. im dating a guy and my parents totally freaked out when they found out.
Hey I know how u feel that is the same thing that to me
my parents found out that i was going out with someone
and they wanted to me him but i knew my mom and dad won’t like him my 3 sisters told me to never bring my boyfriend home.
so don’t worry if ever thing went well with my parents it might go well with your parents.
Hi girl, just wanted to add this..the real reason why i even stepped into this website is cause i wanted answers…my boyfriend has had a ery bad past,..he has been intimate with his 3 exs before and a girl whom he didn’t know nearly slept with him..honestly, i never wanted to meet someone like him..but then we just coincidentally were asked to perform together and fell in love,..my parents later knew and since my sis knew his past as well..i was really forbidden to meet him..i was helpless and many times felt like committing suicide cause i didn’t know what i really wanted..after a while..he spoke to me saying that he wants to live with me forever and would do whatever it takes…he is my first boyfriend..everyone warned me against him..and mind u i made him run behind me just to prove his love…i didn’t have much of a choice but to test his sincerity….now they found out again..my bf left his home n is living with his relative who supports our relationship..he has completed his education and really wants to make his mark in the army to prove everyone wrong and to provide for me..right now..there is noone else left for him except me..but everyone else in my family dun want him and i dun want to be ungrateful to my parents..now again for the third time we are still together but everyone thinks we broke up..i hate to lie and i really hate to live at this moment cause i dun know wat decisions to make in life…he has promised to keep me happy..but i have my dreams too..and i want to succeed…but i dun know if it will be possible…your situation is way better girl..waiting for my exam results..after which, my life will be determined by fate..take care..
Hi all, im a 16 year old girl and have been with my boyfiend 4years! yeah along time i know but we love the hell outta each other, we have our ups and downs but who doesnt? lol. the situation is my mum and dad really dislike him because of what he has done to me in the past but i have forgiven him for that and we have both moved on. my mum and dad have lost there teather with it all now. My choices are to move out and have nothing to do with my parents or forget my boyfriend and the four years and do what my mum and dad want me to do…finish with my boyfiend and syat with them. Im in such a dilemma coz its so hard to chose coz its my family and boyfriend…? anyone any advice…please !!! xox
I have a boyfriend thats more than my age but i love him to death , my parents , brother hate there parents , daughter , i love em so what should i do .
Advice from 18-year-old, 28-year-old and 38-year-old can be different. All are sincere advice. You will see what the decision brings you in your 18, 28 and 38 from them. You will be happy in 18 since you take fewer responsibilities in that age when you are just “grown up”. You will not know if the decision is right till you live with him in 28 or till you become a parent in 38. It depends on if he is indeed worth. You are not able to see it clearly at this moment. You just assume your parents will not like him. I suppose the reason might be that you are too young or you know that he is not good enough. If you think he is good you can discuss with your parents some day. They might like him. It happens after discussion you might change your view about him. If you don’t think your parents will like him, then there’s an invisible problem. It seems you know he is not good enough. Love is great only when it is tested. Love means much more than being romantic and sweet. No man will treat his lover not nice but things will change when the lover becomes wife, especially, when the wife becomes a mother. Financial aspect might affect a relationship as well. You are too young to understand all these. If you regard your present love as an experience it might be easier. “Love” is not everything and it is something only when it’s mature and when the lovers take responsibilities, otherwise it’s just passion. Passion is momentary.
am on the same boat as yo’all guys,, am 20 my present bf has alot of responsibilities with him and his way older than me,, and whats tough is wer in LDR and my parents didnt know a thing about it,, and as i know my parents they sure wont agree with our relationship,, so am forced to lie,, i dont want to,, my bf and i even try to just be friends and forget our relationship,, but it didnt work for us, nature always takes its course to keep us together,, so despite of all that,, we are now taking our relationship seriously,, even though wer freaking want to be together and get married,, we’d agreed to persue our relationship “with my parents” after i finished my studies and if wer both stable enough to be on our own,, wer still together now though its hard we know in time we can face my parents and assure them that we can be on our own and by dat time we can make sure everythings gonna be fine..
i kn0w this makes me a BI,, but for me (because my bf and i have a goal for ourself) if ur love to each other is true,, keeping ur relationship secret (for a mean time) to your parents is ok if this helps you through,, while you guys are reaching your goal.. i dont know if i explained it properly lolz..
i do still understand the point of my parents.. thats why my bf and i decided to wait and just take things step by step,, we are madly and crazily inlove with each other and we know ourselves that we cant live without each other,, but we also know that LOVE wont be enough we sure want to give each other the best of wat we can give,, we thought of our future together that might help you guys t0o.. we started to think of the “what if’s” and the “are we capable of” / “can we” those kind of things.. that helps as realize that if we want our relati0nship to workout we should fill the remaining aspects of commitment that we’re lacking..
our parents just wants the best for us,, and they sure know that not all the things they thought right is best for us,, s0o try to make them understand in time,, for me the ” in time” is when i can assure them that am mature and stable enough for myself and be to make the right decision and know its consequences..
hope this help u guys…
i know not everybody will agree with me,, am open for some comments,, feel free to reply thanks!
Hey girl i feel ya..
lol but anyhow.. im still seeing him we are just keeping it a secret, and when im 18 im going to move in with him. he has a nice house, a good job and has his act togather now.. he wants me to marry him someday too!! i can’t see my life without him i really can’t.. but can i get any info on when it’s legal for me to move out im 17 now!! and would love to leave now. i would still finish school and go to a tech school and get my nursing degree. i mean im not thinking irrationally im a smart girl and have planned all this out.. So is there any way at 17 i could legally leave without being emancipated???? all the help would be wonderful.. 
thanks.
I had been seeing this guy for 6 months im crazy about him!!
I mean im in LOOOOVEE! I kept are relationship a secret because my dad and brother and mom didn’t like him. He is a great guy!! he used to be a little wild in the past but he really has changed. im not a partier or any of that stuff and he used to be that’s what my parents hate about him. They won’t even give him a chance, if they would have at least given him a chance i wouldn’t be near as mad. But anyhow, they found out that we were togather and freaked. My dad took my car away, they took my phone. I was cut off all contact from him. and he still waited for me, he loves me!!
Im 48 and my girlfriend is 20. We love each other very much in spite of our large age difference. She has kept the relationship secret from her parents for almost a year because she is afraid they will be very angry. Her grandmother died a couple weeks ago and she is really reluctant to tell them. Any advice?
The biggest mistake i would say is ever getting stuck in a situation where you have no choice but to live with them, you feel like a peice of crap!, you can’t have the freedom that you feel with your parents. my boyfriends parents are very old timers, they never educated themselves to modern times and don’t full understand how to open a cordless phone and press the numbers hard like its a punching typewriter, the father is a loud anoying italian, they can’t hear and blast the tv and stay home in the kitchen and watch tv, and are home all the time, I get no privacy and its killing me inside and our relationship, because i transform into some beast, if i buy food we have to share, but i dont want to cook in another womans kitchen because i feel already disrespectful staying here, they dont’ know how to take a vacation because they are too cheap, and don’t know what to do. I haven’t been able to get a job in a long time, i dont like being stuck in this situation but its just terrible i am gong nuts, i want to leave but the more i try to be positive more negative things build up inside, i have no choice but to sit on these old renesanse coutches which hurt your back, there is no place to study but on the floor because these people dont read books and sit at the kitchen table for 5 hours in a row, my boyfriend i know he loves me because he tries his best, but he sees moving out (not like we can afford it) as loosing another 1000 dollars a month if he could make that much, i can’t get a job in quebec for some reason either because my last name is too english or that im not giiving in to this quebec cultre stuff. Hiding from your parents is nothing, at least you get to sneak out a make really passionate quickies, we sleep not even ten feet away from the parents who snore so loud at night and i am already turned off from wanting to do it, This situation is just the worst, they dont’ understand nothing their deaf and dumb, but i have to appreciate how much i should be greatful somebody cares enough, but even then as i try it gets worse, because the fact i can’t make a meal and buy food without them taking it for their own, builds up inside, and i know its good to be nice etc, but why use out the food on the days that im looking for it, i can’t eat breakfeast with just him and i because their home all the days of the week, they go to work at the flea market at times but now their comming home earlier and earlier and wtf , when can i make something for us, and if i leave it in the fridge she comes along acting like a dummy oh whats this, which usually means i dont want it there, When ever i come back and i find them there i transform, all i ask is a few hours just to have quiet alone time, it ain’t happening i have no friends, no family that gives a shit about me nothing, and no place is hiring me
Hi! i just wanna share our simple yet very complicated love story of me and my boyfriend..Actually, we’re just new in our relationship..and my main problem is..my parents doesn’t know that I’m already committed to this guy whom I’m always seeing…But I know that they already have an idea..They’re just waiting for me to share and to formally introduce my man..And we have this conflict on our religion..I’m a Christian and he’s a catholic..that’s the another problem here..But i really love him..So, I made up my mind to fight for our LOVE..My parents love me and I love them too..But loving my boyfriend is the another side of it..It’s LOVE and I can’t compare it to anybody else..I’m willing to give my ALL..so my parents will accept us and eventually let us be together FOREVER…I’m really looking forward to be with him FOREVER…To be my husband and the father of my kids..Please Lord help and guide US…=)
guys…i can personally say that most parents are like that, i dont know if its their way of testing or just because they are from a conservative family. They will try to tell you that they just want whats best for you. To tell you the truth, I’ve experienced the same dilemna as well. and it was a “lot harder” than what i have expected. EMOTIONAL TORTURE, DEPRESSION and FEELING OF HOPELESNESS.. but i tell u, you just have to be stronger… stronger than you have ever been. u just have to prove them that you are of the right age to know whats best for you., that you are now capable of making decisions for your OWN LIFE and that u have made the right decision. If your are 101% sure that you love the guy then you dont have to be scared of anything, in time they will realize that.
maybe it would take a long time., everything will pave way in the end. just do not lose hope. we all know in our hearts that no one could ever dictate to us who will we love and who will we be with, its only up to us…only us.
I hope this has helped you guys..
Hi, ive been with my boyfriend (we are both the same age) for just 2 months and everything was going fine till very recently. He had been twisting certain things that had been said and told me all about it in one go. Ofcourse my reaction was immediate of which i confided in my parents. I have a very close bond with my mum and my dad is the well typical “ill smash his face in” type. Ive managed to get over this incident as i understand his reasons even though they are strange. But my parents have not. My dads still threatening to punch his lights out and my mum refuses to talk about it as it gets her gander up. I really want to talk to them about it but they refuse too. Theyre making it difficult for me to see him and arent allowing him round here now. Its tearing me in two. I know its only been 2 months but ive known him so much longer that its feels more than that. Its like romeo and juliet however theyre family have no problem with me as it seems. I know my parents love me and want whats best but i can’t help but think they are being very single minded about the whole palava. I mean if i can put it behind me then why can’t they?
Any Advice??
Its pushing me to the stage where im tempted to move out for a week or two to clear the air. I dont want to have to do that.
Is there any other way??
Please help, Thankyou xx
I don’t really have any advice. But I do know my sister is dating someone my family doesn’t like. i admit I do not like him as well.
My sister knows we dont like him. So she separated herself from us. And that hurts my mother more than anything. Not only is she separated, she doesn’t respect us anymore.
I got in to a fight with her boyfriend. He even put his hands around my neck. She didn’t do anything. And that’s what hurt the most. She stood there staring.
He is a mean person. if only she knew. His last girlfriend tried to tell her. He uses her for money. All she does is work. And all he does is sit at home. Even when she comes home she cooks.
All she ever says to me is I don’t understand because I have never been in love. I may not have been in love. But I think I know a bad guy when I see them.
The only thing I can say to you guys is, your family loves you. And they know you. They only have your best interests at heart. So have faith in them…
I need advice asap! I’m 18 years old and has been with my boy friend now for 6 months. We have been struggling recently due to the fact that my parents hate him and don’t want me seeing him. This is because he doesn’t have a job at the moment & rarely takes me out but has offered many times & does anything he can for me. Any ideas on what I should do? I’ve been going through a lot these past months and I can see myself with out him. I know he’s trying and I know he loves me, I just don’t know how to get my parents to just back off and let me be with him. Can anyone tell me what to say or do for my boyfriend to be accepted by my parents?