Narcissist 2
Admiration
Narcissists are not only successful in their way; they also need to constantly convince others that they are the best, the smartest, the most talented, and they are never tired of doing so. If it means they must devalue others, then they devalue. It's something they cannot live without. It's also something others can't really stand within. Not to say you are better than or as good as them is not enough, you must tell them they are the best; to tell them they are the best is not enough, they must reenforce they are the much best by teasing you you are not. The way how a narcissist constantly firm his position of being the best can reach a certain extend to cover the tiniest matter. One of my ex-boyfriends used to compare his mother with mine, his sister with my brother, until the brand of his speaker with mine, and even if it's apparent that the two brands are equally famous or actually mine is more famous (I don't really care about this point) It's their helpless self-esteem. My bottom line is not to be hurt; above this line, if you have to cheat to gain success, if you have to say how good you are to firm your position, it's OK, I can smile and think about something else; however, below this line, it's not necessary for me to endure. I will leave you. That's what a narcissist is truly afraid. To be abandonned is the most severe denial of his self-esteem in terms of the excessive admiration he is seeking for. He will do whatever to make up. If it means to be violent, then be violent; if it means to threaten, then threaten. What's your reaction? Be afraid and go back to him? Then you repeat your mistake. When he gets you back, everything will be the same and he must continue his reenforcement at all aspects. Remember, narcissists they don't love they don't need love, they need admiration. They don't care about what you think, as long as you are there, they feel comfortable you still follow them. I feel lucky I finally left that ex-boyfriend. He kept writing to me for a whole year after that and I never read those letters. To hurt his self-esteem is not my interest; to live a life without him is what I want. He may be successful. It has nothing to do with me. I just feel sorry for his present spouse. I can't help her while knowing what kind of life she is living. So what kind of wife a narcissist is looking for? - to be continued
Labels: Narcissist, Personality, Relationship
1 Comments:
I agree whole heartedly. My narcissist ex and his crazy narcissist mother have been hunting me down for over two years. They harass my friends and family without having any remorse. They lack even the slightest bit of manners and behave as though my friends and family are obligated to tell them where I am just by virtue of them being who they are. When my friends and family do not "operate" the way they want. They try to harass them further and become more ill-mannered. Which actually works in my favor because then my friends and family see why I left in the first place. The concept that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar is wasted on them. They see no reason to be nice to people who have broken the rules by not conceding to their greatness.
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