Friendship vs Love
The related cases we will refer to when we address this topic are under “Bestfriend vs Lover” menu.
Love has three major steps:
1. Fall in love
2. Test love
3. Love lasting or love ends
If you love someone but you have never expressed your love, even if you suppose that you both love each other, then it’s not yet a love relationship; in this case, if a third person appears, you will be quite passive. This is a typical “Shy Guy” issue we will address later. Therefore, the boy in the following “Best friend vs girlfriend” case is in a “passive voice”. Here’s the story:
HayTheM had a friend, a real friend, and a love. The girl was in his school from KJ with him. As he became older he begins to love her. Now he likes her more than we can imagine, but while he was going with her to the cinema, he met his best friend, who goes with them and here’s the surprise: she loves HayThem’s friend and the friend loves her in just one minute flat. HayTheM had loved her for more than 3 years but was too shy to tell her.
Regardless of HayTheM being shy, let’s assume that the girl and him are in a love relationship when the other boy appears.
1. HayTheM talks to the girl and asks her if she loves him or the other boy. If the girl says that she loves the other boy, then HayTheM can have two different reactions:
One is relatively narrow-minded, to try his best to disallow this to happen by all means (begging her, prohibiting the connection between the girl and the friend etc.) The success rate is 50% or less. The successful part may be that the feeling between the girl and the other boy will be gone due to disconnection, however, it doesn’t mean that the feeling between the girl and HayTheM will definitely last or become deeper. The risk is that the girl may become negative, reacting against the HayTheM’s “force”.
Remember, even if she doesn’t love the other boy anymore, this doesn’t definitely mean that she will still love HayTheM, while HayTheM takes the risk in losing a friend at the same time. To be a true winner, one needs to win the other person’s heart.
The other reaction is more broadminded, to set her free. If she does love the other boy then she’s not yours; if she comes back to you, then she is yours.
Always remember the three love steps. The girl falls in love with the other boy. It’s understandable. The girl and HayTheM have been together since KJ and the new boy’s appearing is of course refreshing. Just wait out their “love steps” and see the result.
Back to “set her free”. Remember to win someone’s heart is true art. Be broadminded when she comes back. This simply means that love between the girl and the other boy has failed during the test, and all that HayTheM needs to work on might be bringing more freshness into the relationship.
2. Don’t forget your friend. Friendship vs love, which one is more important? It depends. If the lover is your true lover, of course she is more important, otherwise your friend is equally important. It happens that friends say goodbye to each other due to a boy or a girl; it happens more often that lovers say goodbye to each other with or without a reason.
Don’t forget to talk to your friend if you both fall for the same girl. Friendship also needs to be tested! Tell your friend that you love the girl. Tell your friend that you cherish your friendship as well as your love for the girl. Tell your friend that you welcome fair competition. Tell your friend that regardless of the result you will always see him as your friend. In this way, you secure a true friend and if luckier, a true lover; or you secure a true friend and luckily don’t keep a relationship with a “false” lover; or the “friend” is not your friend if he betrays you or if he refuses your fair competition or if he leaves you when he “loses”. You have nothing worthy to lose; you have everything worthy to gain.
3. It’s important not to introduce your lover to your best friend till the feeling between you and your lover has grown strong enough. Before that anything may change it, especially a best friend, in that, you talk a lot about your lover to your best friend and about your best friend to your lover, therefore, they have more chances to know each other better and you actually created the chance for them to be close to each other. I’m pretty sure when a couple’s feeling grows and becomes truly strong, it will be firm enough to resist any other temptation.
“Friend or Lover” is the other choice between friendship and love. This friend and lover is one person, and he or she can be your friend whom you are in love with. So to be friend or to be lovers, this is a question. To upgrade your friend to lover you take the risk of possibly losing a friend in the future. This person can be your ex-lover. To downgrade a lover to your friend again, can you still be friends?