* Rule#1: Make sure you have a complete and brilliant profile; an annoying profile will make your first message fail to attract any attention.
* Rule#2: Thoroughly read through the favorite ones’ profiles;
* Rule#3: Compose your first message to those who match you at most important aspects;
* Rule#4: In your first message, you should mention why you contact her, what about her catches your attention, including all the aspects that you two match. Mostly she’ll reply you. Yes, TALK ABOUT HER, NOT ONLY YOU. You’ll be less likely to get response, if you:
** Send a one-sentence greeting;
** Send a universal message talking about only yourself even if it’s long;
** You suggest email correspondence in your first message. All communications with other members stay on site so that members never have to give out any personal information until they feel completely ready.
** You don’t match her;
** You have an annoying profile;
** You can’t write.
* Rule#5: If you don’t get response, start to view her profile once per day if you have a pretty profile picture. Your picture will get her attention among visitors.
* Rule#6: If you’re not only looking for friendship, but focus on something more than that, stay online longer before meeting, to see if both have connection online.
I have read through success stories, and found a pattern:
Most couples have a connection online plus love at first sight meeting in person. I think it’s the connection online that leads to the love at first sight. If you meet persons one by one without the online connection and without the sincerity of making friends, then you’ll be depressed to see how members move from one profile to the next. Love at first sight relies on the connection or a supermodel face. Most of us are not supermodels!
* Rule#7: While staying online longer to wait for the connection, you should not wait for too long. Why? Because people in person are different than they are in pictures and/or in writing. How long is too long? 3 months is long and 1 year is too long! A short-term dating could have happened and ended, and a baby could have been born!
By 1/3 chance, in person, people will appear – not as good as, the same as, or better than they do in their pictures. If you filter people based on their pictures, you’ll miss 1/3 chance meeting awesome people; your chance of meeting disappointing ones will be increased to 50%, and the other half is rarely awesome.
The more disappointed you’re, the more fear of meeting people you’ll have, and the more people you’ll filter, therefore, you’re stuck to a vicious circle.
** You should upload a recent picture that resembles the recent you in terms of everything: your hairstyle, your glasses, your shape, and your dressing style … exactly the way you’ll look like when you show up to your penpals the first time. If you don’t have a recent picture, try to find a chance to take one.
If you upload the best picture of you, people will be more likely to be disappointed when you show up in person, since you can never be so perfect all the time.
If you’re better at writing than talking, you should really avoid only uploading your best picture, because your writing beautifies your image on other people’s mind, and you actually raised other people’s expectations of you.
We’re all ordinary people. Overall most people are not so much better than other people. We just have the differences. What kills is the unrealistic expectations.
** No matter how recent the picture is taken, people in person are still different, because people in person are in 3D (a lot more than a still image) – voices, laughs, moves, smells, manners … The enchanting part of meeting people in person is that the person’s whole image is integrated and you can appreciate it effortlessly, while online, the image is pieced together by your expectations.
Pictures can be deceptive; it’s not even the person’s fault. The person does look like this way in all his pictures. If it were to blame, then blame the camera.
** This is probably the reason that people try to avoid long distance ones. The risk is the same, but the effort is different; people tend to feel more disappointed when the unfortunate 1/3 happens, and they tend to blame the distance. It’s also about expectations; the expectation is increased along with the distance and effort.
Meet people before you fall for them, otherwise the risk is the highest, simply because your expectation reaches the highest.
** If you’re not in a good shape, I’ll suggest you not to hide the truth. Because the other people will keep this in mind when meeting you, and the outcome might be more positive than you expected. Otherwise, the disappointment is unavoidable and will be increased. It’s also about expectations; hiding the truth increased the differences between the expectations and the truth.
** People do have different tastes/preferences.
It’s all about preferences and when both preferences match, it works. It’s that simple and difficult! High self-confidence and being popular don’t necessarily bring you success. Being yourself and the good luck bring it to you.
Don’t worry about your looks; don’t miss out your chance with your match by altering your basic information including your pictures, age, shape and height.
Don’t filter people by their pictures; they may turn out to be awesome.
Don’t let the disappointment defeat you; it only has 1/3 chance.