keep your mind wide open

Goodbye Lover

The related cases referred to are under the “Break up” category.

  • Remember: The pain will pass and it’s never eternal

If you are heartbroken, please remember this first: just like giving birth to a child, the pain will pass and the new baby will eventually be born. Being heartbroken is never eternal.

  • Feel free to recall haunting memories

Before you forget your pain, feel free to recall it, feel it. Feel free to listen to the music that brings back haunting memories and feel free to cry. This helps you get through the worst of the pain and moves you along the path toward healing. Heart break is like losing a loved one to death. You will go through a process similar to grief.

  • Be good to yourself

Please be good to yourself: a spa, a massage, a movie, a concert just to cheer yourself up. Listen to gorgeous music, or some breakup songs, take a walk in a beautiful garden or a wild hillside and eat healthy foods.

When we have to say goodbye to a lover, different personalities do react differently. One girl might say, “If he cheated on you, go kick him.” Another one would say, “Make sure that this guy treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Don’t settle for less.” People with such personalities are more likely to get over the pain quickly.

I sum up this topic in great detail as follows in the hope of helping other people whose personalities don’t allow them to get over the break-up easily.

When you have to say goodbye to a lover, when you break up with someone you still love, the situation is always like this: your mind says let him go but your heart says hold on.

  • Realize it’s the end

There are different reasons that we have to say goodbye to a lover, but whatever reason it is, we know that it’s the end. This is something you must realize first. Remember, a love relationship is where both people give it their all and put everything into it, and if he’s done it once, he’ll do it again and you deserve better than that. It’s YOUR life and you only get to live it once.

  • Timeout – Leave ex as far away as possible

What you have to do is to separate, with no contact, give yourself time to close out that part of your life. Remember, it is hard to go through another door when the first door is still open. There are indeed tough situations where for whatever reason you still have to face him every day. If you believe that it’s a really impossible situation where you cannot possibly forget him, then sometimes moving to another place may be necessary. Imagine a life without him. Live a life like you have never met.

You have been dating and both of you have devoted effort to this love relationship, therefore, it’s perfectly normal that you still have feelings for your ex. However, when your love relationship doesn’t work out, you need to understand that the decision you make to give up your ex is a final and irreversible one. Once the decision is made, you should never go back to your ex: If you do go back, the failure will repeat itself. In order to move on, you need to leave ex as far away as possible. Time will help you forget this love feeling. A lot of people are unable to move on, so their life with their ex remains complicated, and this creates problems to others who they are involved with later.

  • Keep yourself busy and meet new people

What you need to do is to hang out with friends, go to movies or parties, and do whatever you can to get out of the house or just keep yourself busy and meet new people. After heartbreak, there’s nothing like good, warm, understanding, loving and lovable friends, but please do not talk your friend’s ear off about your situation.

  • Don’t be involved in another love relationship too soon

How soon is too soon? It depends on whether you believe that you have passed “time out” and forgotten about your ex. To look for comfort from someone else will only hurt you more and even worse it will hurt the person you seek comfort from.

Learn not to depend upon any other person for your happiness. It’s important to find your own true self and path in your life. Do not rely on a love relationship to resolve your problems, to seemingly fulfill your “empty” life. It is better to be reasonably happy, content and fulfilled on your own and then to seek out a love relationship that can add to your life. Being dependent on another for your happiness is a good set-up for future heart break.

  • It hurts but eventually you will find someone better

Remember there are other fish in the sea. Eventually, you will end up meeting another guy even better than this one, one who will make you so much happier. People do find true love and happiness later. You will be thankful to lose him when someone else nicer comes! If he had stayed then things could have turned out a lot, lot worse.

Sometimes when people are tied to an unhappy love relationship, they will always complain that they are not as lucky as their friend who has found his or her true love. They aren’t aware if they don’t finish their ongoing, failed love relationship, it is very hard for them to find true love.

  • Time understands love; time also heals wounds

Just hang in there, everything will be okay. You just need to give it time. Time heals all wounds and if you just live life to the fullest everything will be alright.

Simply quote two song titles for you: one is from Eragon; the other one is from Bridge to Terabithia.

keep your mind wide open

Keep holding on and Keep your mind wide open! Someday, you will fall in love again and love like you’ve never been hurt!

Published by

Min Min

Min Min has enjoyed observing people since her 20s and has noticed 3 temperament patterns that match Keirsey’s theory that she read later in life. She has an innate sense of people’s personalities that helps her to understand others better.