Last year, I bought a house about 1/2 mile from my sister. Over the past year I’ve lived there, she has popped in unannounced almost every day with the expectation that I would drop whatever it is I’m doing and entertain her and feed her. As a result, I am finally in my own home at 37 and I feel as if I have absolutely no privacy or security. She has the key, so it’s not like I can hide until she gives up ringing the door bell. The problem is that whenever she is directly criticized or even gently confronted about her behavior, she fights very dirty and quite frankly, it is a toss up between suffering with no privacy and facing the dragon.
- Jennifer
November 27, 2009 at 12:17 pm -
lying to a sister isn’t right and it’s not the solution. sit down and tell her that you don’t feel your privacy is being respected.
Tell her you need her to call before she visits to see if the time is good for you. And tell her your key is only to use in an emergency, not to let herself in any time she wants. Let her know if she can’t respect those two requests, you’ll have to ask for the key back or change the locks.
You teach people how they can treat you by what you accept. Be gentle but firm. You’re not 17 anymore and have a right to privacy in your own home.
You’re going to have to face the dragon one way or the other so do it once – not repeatedly – and stand up for what YOU need. It’s your home.
November 27, 2009 at 12:17 pm -
Change the locks on the house and say someone broke in to your house and that you are too paranoid to make copies and give ANY body a key. Just dont let her bully you into giving her a set.