I am 17, and recently, I’ve been very much attracted to this guy who I’m in an after school activity with. Earlier at the start of the activity, about 5 weeks ago or so, he admitted, during a rousing game of “Truth” with a few other friends, he had a crush on me at one point! That was when I started looking at him in a different way, and thinking I really liked him. I completely disregarded that he had also mentioned 2 other girls (the specific question was ‘Who amongst the girls here have you liked, if any?) and was just flattered he mentioned me. Slowly, but steadily, I confirmed to myself and pretty much everyone in the activity that I liked him, including one of the other girls he’d mentioned.
I wasn’t too worried about the other girls, as one had a steady boyfriend, and I thought the other did too, but recently, the 2nd girl and her boyfriend broke up. And I found out my crush and this girl had almost dated. Immediately, I panicked. She was my real competition, and they were much closer friends than he and I were. She and I chatted, being very good friends, and she gave me permission to ‘go for it’ as she had just gotten out of her relationship and claimed she didn’t want to go into another one.
Now, I forgot to mention that recently, I had one of my friends say to the guy “You know [me] likes you, right?” And he just said, in a very neutral way, “Yeah, it’s kinda obvious.” I should have known then to drop it. I even told myself ‘He probably likes the 2nd girl, and she likes him, so this is entirely moot.’ However, my friends fed my broken heart, and after much debating, a few nights ago, I wrote him a very brief e mail basically saying “I like you – I wanted to be straightforward – I’m not expecting anything – Just want you to think about it” and had asked my best girlfriend and best guyfriend to proofread the note and they both okay’ed it. My guyfriend even convinced me that at the LEAST my crush will be flattered to receive the note.
Alas, the day after I sent the e mail, I checked out the woman’s bible for dating: He’s Just Not That Into U and learned that all of our self convincing and hoping was for naught. The honest truth is that he knew I liked him, and he didn’t care, and didn’t reciprocate those feelings, and I should have let it go because he’s just not that into me. If a guy wants you, HE will make the effort to be with you. The simple truth is that boys don’t like to be chased. And sometimes that means that you’ll feel idle, ‘waiting’ for a guy to make a move, but after you flirt, and put yourself out there a bit, and if nothing comes of it by his way, nothing will, and you have to accept that.
If anything, I wish I could go back in time, and just not sent the e mail, I would. And I have a strong notion he rarely checks his e mail, and by the time he gets it, he could be dating the other girl and even if they don’t date… talk about an awkward situation I’ve made for myself. I now am still hopeful, because that is just the pathetic girl’s nature, but I do know and accept that he’ll probably start dating the other girl, and even if he doesn’t, I do know for a fact that I am somehow going to receive a polite rejection from him, and I’ll have to be okay with that. To make my insanely long story short (I guess I’m just feeling chatty tonight) if he can make a move, and he’s not, then he’s simply not that into u. PLEASE read the relationship book; it has officially shamed me and my pushy girl ways. It has changed the way I will forever date.
Min Min’s notes: Can you tell if he’s into her by the following pictures?