idealist

The Internal Struggles of an Idealist

Ever since I can remember, I have always had a curiosity for this deep inner knowing of “Self”. This all consuming and magnificent obsession has driven me to find new answers about human behavior. I recently ran across the relationship book “Please Understand Me 2” and found that I was a Champion/Healer Idealist temperament.

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I am struggling at the moment with a similar feeling of loneliness and alienation. I live in one of the most conservative and traditional areas in the country and find myself constantly curious about others behavior.

I ended up marrying a traditional Provider Guardian and have just really realized that I have tried to change her for the last 7 years of our marriage. I am deeply longing for connection and a “soul mate”, an understanding and a genuine sense that I am known (as described in the Idealist mates profile).

How do I deal with the fact that the person I am with doesn’t understand or maybe even isn’t possible of understanding what I am longing for in a connection with her? When I bring it up or try to communicate in any way it is perceived that we are just different and maybe not meant for each other.

I am at a loss and feel like you may have some insights about relationships dealing with this sort of dilemma. Specifically, about the internal struggles of the Idealist understanding the specific temperament of their mates, but resentful that their perceived notion cannot reciprocate the understanding. I guess what I want to know is, what do we do now that we know more about ourselves and the motivations that drive our sense of self. How can I address the loneliness?

– Unknown

The best thing to get rid of loneliness is to talk with your loved one, share your insights like you did now, it’s always a better option to communicate. Just speak your heart out and see how easily you could overcome your hurdles. Plan a trip together, try to explore about yourselves first. Ask and learn the likes and dislikes, do something which both of you love and if you both are altogether different from each other, then try to love what she loves and vice versa ???? it may be difficult at start but this small gesture can bring a positive change in your life. Live is too short then we think, let’s LIVE each and every moment the fullest.

Prem says:
September 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm
The best thing to get rid of loneliness is to talk with your loved one, share your insights like you did now, it’s always a better option to communicate. Just speak your heart out and see how easily you could overcome your hurdles. Plan a trip together, try to explore about yourselves first. Ask and learn the likes and dislikes, do something which both of you love and if you both are altogether different from each other, then try to love what she loves and vice versa ???? it may be difficult at start but this small gesture can bring a positive change in your life. Live is too short then we think, let’s LIVE each and every moment the fullest.