I’m separated from my husband for about a year. I met this wonderful person who is the antithesis of my husband and wants me in his life. He is separated too. He is looking for a wife urgently and wants a commitment from me. I am not looking for a husband but a friend and companion right now. His neediness and impulsiveness worries me. I am confused if he is the right guy for me. I don’t want to make another mistake. please help.
- Lisa
Tags: Commitment, Confused Relationship
One of the biggest mistakes the second marriage makes is to find an antithesis of one's ex.
Antithesis means the direct or exact opposite. Fortunately enough, the new guy has all what your ex doesn't have; on the other hand, it usually implies that he doesn't have some of the essential virtues your ex is good at. Those merits maybe something you got used to so much in your daily life for years that you even overlooked till you miss them in your new relationship.
A failed marriage doesn't necessarily imply a bad ex, but just an incompatible combination.
The new guy's neediness and impulsiveness apparently showed that his decision would not be a wise one. His impulsiveness fits for the role of lover but not for that of husband.
I understand your dilemma. If you refused you would feel regret to lose such a so far wonderful person. That's why I'm not gonna take this responsiblity. Just to imagine how impulsive this new guy could be when he makes some other decisions in life is worrisome enough.
I agree! Someone who is impulsive about marriage may make bad decisions. You’ve already been divorced once, take things slow now! Only you know what’s best for you, take your time and feel things out. The answer will become clear if you don’t worry about it too much. Impulsiveness leads to bad decisions, but so does over-thinking! My advice: relax and enjoy dating!