I’ve been with a man for about two years. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t get him to realize that I love him. Sometimes, I don’t even know why we’re still together. I ask him, “Why don’t you think I love you?” and he says, “Oh, it’s just a gut feeling.” Every day, I try to convince him that I love him, but instead of taking notice of what I do, he simply focuses on what I do NOT do (I have a declining sex drive due to a lot of stress). Even with my declined sex drive, I cuddle with him, kiss him, build him up, do things with him, and tell him REPEATEDLY that I love him. But it never gets through. Frankly, I’m losing patience. Why should I keep telling him if he’ll never believe me? What should I do?
- Brian
October 25, 2009 at 11:46 am -
He's such a sensitive person and the choice is yours.
Whatever you do, he doesn't believe in your love and the reason why he's still with you is that he trusts nobody and that fortunately you're probably the person he trusts most.
I care more about your feeling and about your not being hurt in the future.
If he doesn't believe in your love, he should explain in more than a simple phrase "gut feeling" and it's called communication.
You should not be suggestible and should be yourself. You should not try to convince him if you don't know what he doesn't believe. If the problem is his, your changing yourself doesn't help.
In such a relationship, both suffer, but he suffers whomever he's with, unless he doesn't care about his girlfriend; while it's your choice whether to keep suffering.
It seems you get hurt when he doesn't trust you and you have been hurt for 2 years; even if some day you don't need to be hurt anymore, whenever anything reminds you of his distrust, the hurtful feeling will come again.
The point is not to stay or leave, but that you should not be suggestible and should not humor him, losing yourself.