I was compelled to share my experiences with you. I recently decided to finalize a breakup that was lingering in my head for so long. I was dating a true narcissist, who was well aware of his self absorbed tendencies.
He would pressure me to do thing that made me uncomfortable and justified it by saying it would beneift the relationship. Certain sexual positions made me extremely uncomfortable and were painful, but he believed that I should sacrifice once in a while for him. Completely disregarding my feelings. He felt that I was too opinionated and wanted a woman that did not challenge him as much. This was very difficult, but I could notice the slow change already occurring within me. We spent one year teaching overseas, totally disconnected from my social sphere. He acted as if he needed me in his life and that I was everything to him. When we returned, we went to different cities. Days later, he was a changed man, and his true narcissistic tendencies came through.
Above all, I was giving too much. I had enough and chose me… for the first time, I chose to love me more!
Please think about and try to see how important and worthy you are of someone who adores you UNCONDITIONALLY. I believe it will happen for me someday.
- Fresh Wounds
Tags: Narcissist
This reminds me of Hamlet’s To Be Or Not To Be, or we can say
To love a narcissist, or to love yourself: that is the question:
Whether it’s nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To love yourself;
and by loving ourselves to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, it’s a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To love yourself;
perchance to unknown future: ay, there’s the rub;
For what future may come
there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied over with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
To love a narcissist, or to love yourself: that is simply the question
for you to answer