Im 48 and my girlfriend is 20. We love each other very much in spite of our large age difference. She has kept the relationship secret from her parents for almost a year because she is afraid they will be very angry. Her grandmother died a couple weeks ago and she is really reluctant to tell them. Any relationship advice?
- Socal
June 8, 2010 at 1:49 pm -
Hi Socal,
A busy friend not making the time to text you is normal.
Because you were dating before, to switch the roles from lovers to friends, a few months’ silence is necessary.
Love is mutual; you should respect her choice. You are not her, and you are not in her position, so you may not be able to feel exactly the pressure she feels.
You have your career, your family and your friends, and they never fail you.
When you calm down, some day you’ll be wiser and aware that If you don’t “love” her so much, you won’t get hurt.
June 8, 2010 at 3:44 pm -
Well my love life is meaningful to me. I have a very full life; a professional career, 3 grown kids, im a cellist in a local orchestra, and Im active in car clubs among many other things. The unfortunate part of loving someone is the risk of being hurt. I am upset that someone I loved is not with me any more and I miss that.
June 8, 2010 at 4:44 pm -
Half a year later, you still haven’t switched your role back from a lover to a friend, then how can you two be friends now? She’s doing so for your sake.
Half a year later, you still haven’t switched your role back from a lover to a friend while she can, why? She’s fully occupied by study.
She also made the decision; it means she’s rational now. You loved each other very much. Why can she do so now while cannot you?
I’m sure that at the beginning of breakup she was also sad and that she also missed the time when you were together. But half a year passed.
If you truly love her, you should think for HER.
My advice is for your sake. You are the very person who hurt yourself. That’s my point.
June 8, 2010 at 7:17 pm -
Im not clear as to what your advice is. I have not contacted her because she was too busy for anything else but her studies and work. That seems to me that I am thinking for HER by giving her the needed space.