Comments on: Age Difference

By: so cal

so cal — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 00:17:57 +0000

Im not clear as to what your advice is. I have not contacted her because she was too busy for anything else but her studies and work. That seems to me that I am thinking for HER by giving her the needed space.

By: Min Min

Min Min — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:44:55 +0000

Half a year later, you still haven’t switched your role back from a lover to a friend, then how can you two be friends now? She’s doing so for your sake.

Half a year later, you still haven’t switched your role back from a lover to a friend while she can, why? She’s fully occupied by study.

She also made the decision; it means she’s rational now. You loved each other very much. Why can she do so now while cannot you?

I’m sure that at the beginning of breakup she was also sad and that she also missed the time when you were together. But half a year passed.

If you truly love her, you should think for HER.

My advice is for your sake. You are the very person who hurt yourself. That’s my point.

By: socal

socal — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 20:44:52 +0000

Well my love life is meaningful to me. I have a very full life; a professional career, 3 grown kids, im a cellist in a local orchestra, and Im active in car clubs among many other things. The unfortunate part of loving someone is the risk of being hurt. I am upset that someone I loved is not with me any more and I miss that.

By: Min Min

Min Min — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:49:47 +0000

Hi Socal,

A busy friend not making the time to text you is normal.

Because you were dating before, to switch the roles from lovers to friends, a few months’ silence is necessary.

Love is mutual; you should respect her choice. You are not her, and you are not in her position, so you may not be able to feel exactly the pressure she feels.

You have your career, your family and your friends, and they never fail you.

When you calm down, some day you’ll be wiser and aware that If you don’t “love” her so much, you won’t get hurt.

By: socal

socal — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:46:50 +0000

I would be fine with being freinds with her but she has not even made the time to text me in almost 5 months. I figure if I let her have her space because thats what she needs.

By: Min Min

Min Min — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:41:46 +0000

I understand her too. You can still remain friends. You can still communicate through other means.

You are supposed to be mature enough to know that this is just a small portion of your life and that just as she weighs her study more you have other more important things to do in your life.

By: socal

socal — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 16:49:54 +0000

She broke up with me right around the time I sent my comment (1/20/10) because of what I talked about. She indicated that her school schedule (double major) and work schedule (new job) made her unable to see me and it wasnt fair to me. Im heartbroken but I understand.

By: yzza

yzza — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 02:15:12 +0000

i know a lot of people would tell you that your relationship is not right because of the very “large age difference”. As for me,it really doesnt matter, your gf is of the right/ legal age–for sure she is already aware of what shes doing. But if your are planning to tell her parents of your relationship maybe it is not the right time, not because of the age differnce or whatsoever, but because her parents are still in grief right now, and it might just make things ore complicated.just wait for the right time. –RIGHT TIMING.

If that time comes,.You might hear negative reactions from them. but i guess its all part of parents’ role.. :) just prove to them that you have sincerest intention and love for their daughter.

By: Min Min

Min Min — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:20:14 +0000

Unless she can keep the secret forever, she has to tell her parents, the earlier the better; never do this secret thing again, since it will finally hurt yourself, the deeper feeling the more hurt.

Since her grandmother just passed away, she can tell her parents a few months later. Your task is to figure out how to convince her parents.

If you need my advice on how to convince her parents, I would have to convince you first.