I met up with my old boyfriend after 22 years. We e-mailed everyday and talked on the phone also everyday for 2.5 months. We met up and He said he loved me still and would wait for me to get divorced. He also is getting divorced.
Then one day he said he didn’t love me and the calls stopped (he got a $300 phone bill) but he still e-mails me and texts me. He says he wants to just be friends but I think there is more to it. You don’t talk that much just for that when you could get it anywhere else. He also made a lot of promises that I believed and he has reneged on them. He told me it was just for sex but he even told his mom and all his co-workers about me and his wife.
I am really confused about what to do. I want him more than anything. We only broke up because his family thought I was beneath him. We seem to also have more in common than before. My present husband also says he loves me but I have no feelings for him like I should. What should I do to get the love of my life back and finally be truly happy. I should state he lives 2 hrs away next to my brother in law and near my best friend so I am near him often but not a lot.
– Cindy Pearson
April 15, 2010 at 11:23 am
Consider the fact that you may have lost the “spark” with your current husband partly because of your relationship with your ex. If your main complaint is not feeling feelings you think you should, maybe you could go to counseling and see why those feeling left you.
Tamara Maker says:
April 15, 2010 at 8:07 pm
My first question would be. Did you ever love your husband to begin with?
Your “friend” told you he just wants to be friends and you think there’s more to it. Of course there is you are both still married. You both would be leaving the comfortable for the unknown and that is a scary thing to do.
I’m not really clear on what you mean when you said “You don’t talk that much when you can get it anywhere else”
You also stated that he made promises to get you to have sex with him but then reneged on them. Just like women, man can change their mind on things.
Just remember, it’s easy to feel love for something you want that you can’t have. And he has you hook line and sinker so why should he try?
mike h says:
April 15, 2010 at 11:30 pm
I think your husband is the one who is getting screwed Have you told your him about how you REALLY feel?
Does he know that you had sex with another man?
Does he know you are having an affair?
Do you have any children?
April 18, 2010 at 3:46 pm
i see that you have asked for advice yet you havnt replied to any of the questions or e-mails that have been posted. i would personally have a different view of you if i knew you had children or not. that is only because if in fact you do have children not only are you hurting your husband you are hurting your children as well. i also believe that if you are dishonoring your husband you should leave him to get on with someone who loves him for who he is. it is unfair to be in a relationship with someone who is cheating and lying to you while they are working everyday for you while being completely in the dark about their life. you need to make a decision on what you truly want in this life you only have one to live. i personally dont think you deserve that choice considering what you have done already. a mid life crisis does not constitute ruining your life and those around you. so please let us see the truth in your response if you truly want the advice you so willingly asked for