Why do we develop love? Because it’s one of the sources of happiness. So, when the “love” starts to bring you pain, you should calm down and ask yourself whether this is the “love” you want, and what this “love” will bring you.
If the answer is negative, you should further ask yourself whether this person you’re in love with deserves your love.
When he broke up with his ex, he flirted with you in order to help himself get over his ex.
When you “thought” that maybe he was over his ex-girlfriend, you made a huge mistake to develop love for him in the condition that at first he said he just wanted to be friends and that it was also obvious to you he would go back to his ex if she wanted him back.
You eventually decided to stay friends through much effort on your part because you genuinely care for him after you broke off your friendship when his ex wanted him back. Why did you do so?
Now you are trying to figure out what’s on his mind. Why? We can only figure out what’s on our mind and can only make wrong judgement when we try to figure out what’s on the mind of someone else who doesn’t communicate with you.
Even if they split, she still could come back again, because this already happened and you also broke off twice and want to go back.
There are a certain ways you can try. But you should have a clear bottom line.
1. Try the direct method to reach him and have a chance to have a conversation with him to answer all your questions and make the decision;
2. Give him a few months to calm down and think. He needs time to figure out whom he really wants. He’s a human being; to fight and rob doesn’t work;
3. Forget him because he already brought you pain. You should give yourself a second chance to love someone who has no issue with his ex.
Love is what human beings created. We develop love for someone, romanticise him / her on our mind. You have lots of love ahead waiting for you. You still have chance to develop love for someone else.
Thank you for your advice you are a wise person. I did manage to contact him and he wrote me an email saying he didn’t want to hear from me again. He conveniently forgot that he had told me I could call him again (funny that). I think you were right when you said he flirted with me in order to try and get over his ex or even (as I thought) to get her back. He always seems to keep in touch with her when they break up which I find interesting. I think the thing that hurts the most is that he knew I was vulnerable having just finished a relationship with a man who also used me. I guess I never wanted to believe that he would do the same to me because he seemed so nice and genuine. I know I will always care about him but I am not sure that I like him as a person any more. To use someone in such a fashion then disgard them is not a nice thing to do. You are also right when you say give my love to someone who deserves it. Thanks again Min Min you made me clear about what to do and what was actually happening. Eliza
April 16, 2010 at 6:29 pm -
Why do we develop love? Because it’s one of the sources of happiness. So, when the “love” starts to bring you pain, you should calm down and ask yourself whether this is the “love” you want, and what this “love” will bring you.
If the answer is negative, you should further ask yourself whether this person you’re in love with deserves your love.
When he broke up with his ex, he flirted with you in order to help himself get over his ex.
When you “thought” that maybe he was over his ex-girlfriend, you made a huge mistake to develop love for him in the condition that at first he said he just wanted to be friends and that it was also obvious to you he would go back to his ex if she wanted him back.
You eventually decided to stay friends through much effort on your part because you genuinely care for him after you broke off your friendship when his ex wanted him back. Why did you do so?
Now you are trying to figure out what’s on his mind. Why? We can only figure out what’s on our mind and can only make wrong judgement when we try to figure out what’s on the mind of someone else who doesn’t communicate with you.
Even if they split, she still could come back again, because this already happened and you also broke off twice and want to go back.
There are a certain ways you can try. But you should have a clear bottom line.
1. Try the direct method to reach him and have a chance to have a conversation with him to answer all your questions and make the decision;
2. Give him a few months to calm down and think. He needs time to figure out whom he really wants. He’s a human being; to fight and rob doesn’t work;
3. Forget him because he already brought you pain. You should give yourself a second chance to love someone who has no issue with his ex.
Love is what human beings created. We develop love for someone, romanticise him / her on our mind. You have lots of love ahead waiting for you. You still have chance to develop love for someone else.
April 23, 2010 at 8:55 pm -
Hi Min Min,
Thank you for your advice you are a wise person. I did manage to contact him and he wrote me an email saying he didn’t want to hear from me again. He conveniently forgot that he had told me I could call him again (funny that). I think you were right when you said he flirted with me in order to try and get over his ex or even (as I thought) to get her back. He always seems to keep in touch with her when they break up which I find interesting. I think the thing that hurts the most is that he knew I was vulnerable having just finished a relationship with a man who also used me. I guess I never wanted to believe that he would do the same to me because he seemed so nice and genuine. I know I will always care about him but I am not sure that I like him as a person any more. To use someone in such a fashion then disgard them is not a nice thing to do. You are also right when you say give my love to someone who deserves it.
Thanks again Min Min you made me clear about what to do and what was actually happening.
Eliza