I have just started dating a very shy boy who according to what his best friend told a friend of mine is “crazy about me, he just doesn’t know how to express it”. He makes me so angry at times because we usually text all day, and sometimes he will just stop and not answer for hours or send very short responses like “oh no” he also get cocky when I joke around with him by saying I hate him he replies with no you don’t. These things are confusing me and just getting worse. He rarely asks me to come over, even when I drop hints that I am not busy or bored. What concerns me is that we are very early in our relationship and I am already having issues. I don’t know what to do – because I do truly like him a lot – I even considered the L word as a possibility in the near future and I worked really hard to get to this point with him so I don’t want it to fall apart.
I feel like he doesn’t like me or isn’t interested but according to what I heard he is in fact “crazy about me” but he sure as hell doesn’t act like it. PLEASE HELP!!!
p.s we are very sexually active and I can’t help but wonder if this is the basis for our relationship? We have sex every time we are together. Bad sign?
Min Min says:
May 6, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Your boyfriend is fine. He’s just shy. If you know he’s shy, then you can try to be more expressive, but not only drop hints. Don’t just txt when he’s having trouble expressing himself; talk to him instead. Tell him to ask you to come over. If he’s shy, you have to be bold.
I find you a bit try to project your bf and your relationship with him. He proceeds slowly while you worked really hard to get to this point with him so you don’t want it to fall apart. You didn’t proceed naturally. You invest in this relationship and expect the return. You are disappointed if the return doesn’t meet your expectation.
What you need to do is to think and ask yourself what you really want. If you truly like him and find problems between you, you should first ask yourself if you are able to solve the problems. e.g. Are you able to be bold but don’t expect him not to be shy? If not, then the problems will always be there. If yes, then you should openly talk to him about your feelings and concerns as what you do to me.
As for sex, I have no comment on that, because apparently it’s hard to control.
May 12, 2010 at 10:12 pm
I find your story very interesting and only have one piece of advice for you: Do not pressure him to change!!!
He’s doing all the right things to keep the flame in your relationship alive. If he changes, you will find him predictable, boring, and a total wuss! Of course, you cannot help liking him right now, because he’s pushing all your attraction buttons the right way. Just enjoy the ride, and yes I know, you will try to change his ways anyways! Just hope it doesn’t work!