I’ve known this guy for 5 years. The first day we met, we had sex. I live in California and had a best friend that lived in Louisiana which is where I met him when I visited her one summer. Ever since we met, we’ve had an infatuation with each other.
He recently had gotten incarcerated and we still keep in touch. Around the time when he got locked up, I met this other guy. He’s locked up too but somehow was able to contact me through someone’s cell phone and we’d been talking for a few months.
This new guy gets out next month which is in June and he’s been promising me the world when he gets out like massages, back rubs, getaways and a few other things. The other guy can’t promise all that. In my past relationships, I’ve always had to be the one to pay for everything. I have interest in this new guy but is it wrong for me to be with someone that can help support me more than just sexually?
The old guy thinks this new guy is selling me wolf tickets. I won’t know for sure till he gets out. The old guy is locked up all the way in Wisconsin Dodge correctional not sure for how long though. Could be from 9 to 18 months. The new guy is locked up in Solano county which is way closer to me. And he gets out June 6.
I care about both guys but I’m confused to which one I want to be with. Sex with the old guy is too good I would daydream about it sometimes. lol… I don’t want my relationships to be just about sex because I am trying to settle down and am trying to find that one guy that could support me in every way physically, mentally, emotionally, monetarily too (if that’s a word lol).
To be honest I haven’t even met the new guy face to face yet. I have about 60 letters from him I keep in a box since he first started writing me in August, September of 2010. but we’ve been exchanging pictures. Help me…!!:((((
Min Min says:
May 4, 2011 at 7:30 am
You don’t need to make the choice until you meet the new guy. People in person can be very different from them in writing. You don’t even know if you would like him or not. He could disgust you too, needless to mention if he could satisfy you physically or monetarily. Even if he didn’t make empty promises, until you meet him, he’s not a choice at all.
In your case it seems sex and money are equally important. If the new guy disappointed you you could still keep searching until you meet a third guy or see the first guy again.
Well, you know what, the perfect guy who would satisfy you physically and monetarily is hard to encounter. Either pick one or keep waiting.
September 9, 2013 at 11:06 am
I’m so sorry about your difficult situation. I know how hard it can be. Honestly, you need to sit down, leave everything be and just breathe out with relaxation. Ask yourself this, if you had one day to live, what would you do? Life is short, you can’t depend on someone if he is locked up, or you have feelings that he will be locked up again and again. You have a choice, and you can either let yourself sit in an empty room or live life the way it’s suppose to be. You can be loyal AND alive. There’s nothing wrong with breaking up with the first guy, everyone has the right to choose. Life is short, hope you can choose!