So you got past your nervousness of calling to ask a girl on a first date. And even better, she actually said yes. Now you have to ponder another awkward dating question – when do you call again? There are no hard and fast rules for the world of dating but sometimes it’d be a lot easier if there were. Everyone has different expectations. Now it’s your job to figure out what hers are. Here are some tips to help you figure out the perfect time to call again so you can be sure to get to the second date.
The Three-Day Rule
There’s a belief made popular by the movie “Swingers” that you should wait three days before calling after the first date. It’s supposed to be the perfect amount of time to send the right message – that you’re interested but not desperate. Lots of guys follow that script, or they will come up with their own personal rule about when to call. The problem with this is that in dating, what works in one situation doesn’t always work in the next. It’s a much better idea to decide when to call on a case-by-case basis, so throw the “rules” out the window.
What She’s Thinking
It’s also impossible to determine what women are thinking, and once again, they all think differently. But let’s talk about some of the more common thoughts on post-first-date calls. For most women, waiting any longer than one week to call means you’re not interested in them. If you do call that late, they may become uninterested in you because you seem too busy for her or unreliable. In general it’s best to call at some point within one week of the first date.
On the other hand, how soon is too soon? A common perception is that if a guy calls the very next day, he’s pretty eager, and maybe too eager. The sooner you call the more desperate you seem. It’s usually a turn off to receive a phone call less than 24 hours after the date. Oftentimes a good length for waiting is two to three days. But how do you really know?
First Date Quality
The best way to determine when to call is by your own feelings about how the date went. If you had a great time and really liked the girl, don’t risk losing her interest by waiting too long to call her. If she felt the same way, she’ll appreciate hearing from you sooner rather than later. If the date was pretty good or just so-so, waiting an extra day is probably fine and appropriate. If the date was terrible and you don’t want to see her again, you could decide to do what most guys do and never call at all.
Whatever the case, technology is on your side. You can always send a text message the next day to let her know you had a good time. Hopefully she’ll answer with the same, and your post-first-date call won’t be quite so nerve-wracking. But please – if you really like her, don’t substitute a text message for a call – always call!
Carly Sorensen is a relationship expert and cell phone fanatic who enjoys writing when she has the spare time. She often blogs and covers anything from dating tips to the benefits of belonging to a global wireless network.