The path to true love is never easy. It comes laden with obstacles that will put your bond to the test and put a lot of strain on your relationship, although one might say that these trials are necessary in order to establish whether or not the relationship is strong with the potential to last.
I would agree with this. A relationship needs to be put under a certain amount of strain at some point, so that the pair know whether or not they can overcome things together, or if they let bad things tear them apart.
I’ve picked 3 things at random that can put a relationship under strain, with some tips on how to overcome them as a couple and emerge triumphant on the other side.
Different upbringings / backgrounds
You’d be surprised just how much conflict this can cause. It might not even become apparent until a few years down the line, but if you’ve been brought up in radically different ways and environments, you can guarantee that it will throw a few obstacles in the way.
How you are raised determines many things: how to react to certain situations, how you resolve problems and how you communicate. If you grew up in an emotionally closed household, you may find it difficult later in life to discuss emotions and resolve emotional issues with your significant other.
Listen to what your partner is saying. Do not shut them off when you feel that their reasoning is too different to what you’ve been taught. We as humans are learning all the time and it’s never too late to learn a new way of thinking.
Overcome this obstacle by accepting the differences between you and embracing them all at once. If your partner experienced something that you didn’t when you were growing up, ask them to share it with you.
This will deepen your connection and also show them that you care deeply about who they are.
Whether the financial obstacle is caused by a salary being higher or lower, having very different spending habits or financial values, money is a big problem causer in relationships.
If you share financial responsibilities, then you simply must be able to discuss money without it causing tension and arguments.
If you have different spending habits, go shopping separately or agree on a spending limit and location beforehand.
If you earn more than your partner, do not brag. That’s a sure way to make your partner feel incredibly inferior and insecure. Remember that you love this person; do you really want to make them feel that way?
If you have different financial values, try and learn from theirs and share yours in a way that does not make them feel that you are forcing your beliefs on them.
One of you has a child
You get to a certain age where every potential partner you meet has ‘baggage’. If that baggage is a small human being, this is going to potentially present difficulties in a new relationship.
If you are the one with the child, please remember that the child must always come first.
If your new partner dislikes the fact that you have a child, or makes no effort to show an interest or bond with your offspring, this is a clear indication that this relationship will not be a happy one.
If you are involved with someone with a child, remember that they have a grave responsibility and you cannot get involved with the decision making when it comes to their child. This will cause conflict all round and you will end up losing.
Image by TRF_Mr_Hyde
A sustainable and happy relationship requires an awful lot more than love and passion. If you have found someone who shares your values, understands and appreciates who you are, loves and protects you and stands by you in times of difficulty, then you can be sure that you have found someone incredibly special.
Please remember that you deserve no less and never ‘settle’ for someone who makes you unhappy simply out of a fear of being alone.
Good luck to you and please feel free to share any tips or anecdotes in the comment section.
Susannah Perez is a fashion blogger and relationship expert. She studies human relationships and blogs about her findings to her faithful readers.