The candlelight is flickering and the person across the table is looking at you flirtatiously…the wine’s been flowing and conversation has been totally natural. First dates come in a variety of forms and whether you’re having the time of your life at a local café or you’re simply hanging out with a group in a neighborhood pub, there are 8 things that should never, ever, under any circumstances be brought up during the course of a first date. That is, if you want a second one.
8. Your Finances – It should go without saying that talking about money is tasteless. Inevitably, someone’s going to make less, have less or care less than the other and awkwardness will ensue.
7. Your Family Baggage – So your mom’s in lockup and your dad, well, you haven’t seen him since he thoughtlessly abandoned you as a young girl…oh wait, sorry, was that a mood killer? Sure it’s part of your story but it shouldn’t be part of your first-date story. Keep it general until it’s right to open up – it’s a date, not a therapy session.
6. Your 5-Year Plan – You’re on this date hoping to meet Mrs. Right so you can get to the love, the marriage and the baby carriage, of course, but that’s just something you don’t have to tell your date. To avoid scaring her off within the first 2-hours keep it light, really light. An exception to this rule is your 30-year plan: there’s no harm in talking of your “one day” dreams like owning a bed and breakfast or becoming a senior Olympian.
5. Your Bodily Functions – If it’s something a toddler, a 13-year old boy or your dog would find funny, keep it to yourself.
4. Your Past Transgressions – Whether you had a turbulent childhood full of petty arrests or you’re coming off of a divorce caused by your reckless affair you don’t have to show all your guilt-cards upfront. It’s not withholding information, it’s just common courtesy to wait to open up until everyone’s comfortable.
3. Your Cats – Whether you’re a dude or a smokin’ hot lady, owning cats (emphasis on the plural) as a singleton sends the kind of message you just don’t want to have to defend. Plus, no one thinks Mr. Fluffy’s sleeping habits are interesting except you, anyway.
2. Your Politics – Guess what? Your opinion on Sarah Palin has about a 50/50 chance of falling flat. Really flat. Don’t risk an awkward political debate with a pseudo-stranger just to further your cause. Save it for when you’re closer friends who know how to respectively argue with each other.
1. Your Exes – Don’t. Talk. About. Your. Ex. Not how great they were, not how horrible they were, not how many (or lack thereof) you’ve had. No matter what you divulge it’s going to make your date uncomfortable and insecure about themselves so keep the topics relatable to the person you’re sitting across from.
First date etiquette is loosening each and every year – from group dates to casual coffee meet-ups to Skype conversations across continents but that doesn’t mean the rules of conversation have changed. If you wouldn’t talk about it with your grandmother don’t talk about it with your date…a first date’s too fragile to risk ruining with one off-color comment.
This article has been written by Nicole who is a expert in dating and relationships niche.