Probably providing the largest pool of declared individual candidates and couples willing to find someone for personal, romantic and at times sexual relationship, the Internet is proving one of the most favorable spots to find love and company. However large numbers of interested parties’ fraudsters, violent characters, chauvinist and maniac are keeping positioning themselves on the sites with the hope of nailing a few vulnerable souls. On many occasions I have received SOS cries after a few days of meeting people online. The funny bit is that after a few days of your refusal to help, the communications dry up and the relationships needless to say end up in smoke.
To be on the safer side however there are a number of tell tale signs you must be on the lookout especially if you hope to find someone for romantic relationships.
Frequency of Communication
Communication in any relationship is extremely important. While in the early stages the frequency of communication may be high but the number of time available will reduce before final stabilizing. When communication remains scarce from the onset and continues with the trend, the tell tale signs are out that the person might be so busy and would give you so little or no time off the Internet. It is advisable that, depending on how long you have dated on site, ask about his/her job demands and the amount of time he/her would set aside for family to understand how you’ll fit in his/her apparent strict schedule. If the arrangement doesn’t favor you, don’t take it off line when it’s going nowhere.
Quite often you meet someone online and as the dating game begins so does the questions why you didn’t answer to their questions as first what were you doing and who were you talking to?! Within a very short period the individuals without your permissions have intruded into your other social sites and are monitoring the conversations and reacting to them negatively as you hold your talking sessions with them. If he/she has not asked your permissions before placing in a friend’s request on face book or even asks whether you have other social accounts before asking to join in, then you are dealing with a stalker. Let them respect your space; chances are that they might already know where you stay and closely follow you after work to monitor your movement.
Other Online Subscriptions
Once you’ve started dating online, ask your date if they are subscribed to any other sites on the net. The social network sites they are subscribed into will give you an insight into the character of the person. For instance, if he is subscribed to pages with offensive messages, that defines his character. Take time to learn the person well by asking questions related to the pages they have subscribed to and have their personal opinion over the pages. This will help you make good judgment before taking it off.
People dating online tend to post picture of their best moment, hence making them look at their best. As the days go by, ask for more pictures and additional information on their pages to get to know the person better. Request for various picture portraits, half and full sized photos to get a glimpse of what the physical attributes of the date are. If you like, then go ahead; if not, find your way out.
If your date is mean with information or uses pseudo pictures, request for the real thing and if they aren’t coming, don’t take it offline.
Verify the information given in the bio with them and if there is any bit of contradiction, take your time.
While most people tend to be very careful with their language when they meet new people and especially when writing, familiarity loosens the care and people start using the normal language they would use in real life. Slowly but surely they start testing your limits by occasionally using words that would betray their lifestyles. Be keen enough to pick out these phrases as they might be crucial in determining the final decision. If the person is vulgar and swears all the time, be careful and they might just be telling you that they can’t handle their anger and so on. The language use also tends to bring out the upbringing of the individuals.
Finally, the final decision of when to take if offline solely lies with you; remember to ensure the first date off the net is arranged to be in public areas where you can call for help if in trouble. It is important to note that, if the person you were dating online with successfully managed to conceal their true self there, please take the first few dates in public to learn them before finally opting for a more private date.