Coffee Date

How is Finding a Woman like Finding a Job?

I’m at the time of my life where I just want to settle down. The age old adage of getting married and maybe having a kid or two. It’s always been my dream, even when I was younger. Sadly, getting there and finding the right woman for me is anything but easy. I always invest a part of my soul into every relationship so it is hard, it’s stressful and with every failure I feel that I’ve lost something.

How are Job Hunting and Girl Hunting Similar?

It’s heartbreaking, that pang in my chest that just won’t go away when a relationship has just ended or that emptiness when failing to start one. I can’t let it get me down though, I’ll never get anywhere if I keep looking at what could have been. In order to cheer myself up I always use the same analogy. I mean, In a lot of ways, finding that special someone is like getting that dream job. And failing to get one is merely a setback, just like in dating.

If at First You Don’t Succeed . . .

Both require a tedious amount of preparation, education on one hand and doing your best to look good on the other. They share the same sad fact that it’s either hit or miss, I mean how many job interviews does it take to land a job? On the other hand how many coffees and dates does it find to find a potential girlfriend?

Coffee Date
Coffee Date

Of course the similarities don’t end there, have you ever gone to a bar and tried to start a conversation? Or speed date with the intent of finding someone interesting? I have, and I can honestly compare them to a job fair. We may go there with the intent on finding a job (or a girl), but it’s far from a sure thing. Failure happens, and whether it’s landing an occupation or getting her number, it’s still bound to occur sooner or later. The important thing is to pick ourselves up and do it again, and again and hope for the best.

Try, Try and Try Again 

It’s all in the mindset. Like looking at the classified ads in a local newspaper day after day and seeing what’s available, that exact persistence is needed to find that special someone in our lives. Though, just like in job hunting, doing the same thing over and over may not get you employed. That’s when we look into using other resources.

Network – Use Every Resource You Have

Networking is something we use for personal and professional reasons. Talking to people and seeing if they’ve heard anything on the grapevine that may interest us, is a part of the process – it’s the exact same thing with relationships. A good friend can introduce us to potential partners. A few choice words, at a party or even on the internet could start something special.

Over the years I’ve lost track of the number of friends who have tried to pair me up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. My last major relationship started out like that, it was fun while it lasted but we just didn’t have the same goals in life.

Call in the Professionals

When things are truly desperate, or we just don’t know what we want it’s time for professional help. It’s something I’ve availed myself of recently; it’s introduced me to the ladies that I’m interested in right off the bat. It’s liberating, not having to struggle to find any common ground to talk about. Finding the kind of people where we just click, is hard and often takes luck or help. In my case, I had plenty of aid, I mean, just like the recruitment agencies in the professional world there are a number of online dating sites or matchmaking services out there to use for finding a relationship.

It’s this exact method that’s allowed me to find, well It’s too early to say if she’s the one but someone interesting and exquisite. Like that fine wine that’s aged to perfection. She’s a great conversationalist, we both live in DC and someone who can keep up mentally always seems to have an added allure, at least when I’m concerned.

It sounds silly, but we’ve only dated three times, but each time I came away wanting more. I found her on an internet dating site. I use a number of dating websites but as a professional in DC, I actually met Sarah through a professional dating service in DC, which we had both signed up to a few weeks earlier.

Plan B – Just in Case

The future is ever changing, Sarah may be the one she may not but between you and me, I hope she is. Though if the worst happens and I find myself denied the happiness I deserve this time then at least, I’ll know that just like jobs, there are opportunities to find other women who might work out a better match.

Technology is a wonderful thing. As well as Internet dating sites I have a few great dating apps on my phone. These allow me to set up a date in 10 minutes’ time with a woman who is also looking for a date; she might be only 50 yards away! At this early stage in our relationship I want to keep all my options open, and I love talking to women anyway, so what’s the harm in a coffee date?