Maybe you’ve heard about the success and increasing popularity of online dating and decided to give dating sites a shot.
Maybe it hasn’t gone so well for you. Perhaps you aren’t getting as many replies to messages as you’d hoped, or maybe nothing is sparking with the dates that you are getting.
Maybe your first dates don’t get a follow up, and they end up, well, as just first dates.
Looking back at them now, you realize they were all happening in ideal situations which could have resulted to a successful, long-lasting relationship. On the surface, there seems to be nothing wrong with yourself or your dates.
Perhaps, it is time to apply the law of attraction to your dating life.
What is the Law of Attraction?
It’s the idea that your thoughts can make a significant difference to the outcome of a situation. The energy you send out will be reflected back to you. Wikipedia describes it as “the name given to the belief that ‘like attracts like’ and that by focusing on positive and negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.
One popular person who has been promoting positive thinking is Louise Hay, acclaimed author of the book, The Secret, based on the law of attraction. In one of her interviews with Oprah, she says that it is our way of thinking that brings us to what we want to achieve. And that the universe listens and responds to what we think or say. Hay also adds that negativity only puts ourselves down, thus hindering us from accomplishing our goals. Rather she recommends that, “You have to start saying things that you feel really good about yourself. ‘I love who I am. I love life. Life loves me. It’s going to be smooth and easy. Life works for me.’”
Putting the Law of Attraction to Work
A simple way to get started with the Law of Attraction is simply by trying to be more positive. This will get you into the habit of sending out positive energy all the time and make it your default attitude. Use this same attitude toward dates.
When I first started dating people I’d met online, I assumed that there must be something wrong with the dates I was getting if they had to resort to a dating service to meet people. I didn’t consider that I was in exactly the same position. When I looked at the dates I was getting as somehow second best, they became exactly that. One wasn’t smart enough, the next wasn’t good-looking enough while another just wasn’t very interesting. The list of negative things that I noticed went on and on.
And then I realized, what if I try the practice of ignoring all the negative things and start appreciating the good ones. I willed my mind to stop projecting my own ideas about who these dates were supposed to be and focused instead upon putting out positive energy, I had much more successful dates. I stopped looking for the perfect person, but concentrated on finding reasons why this person could be a perfect match for me. I focused on the compatibilities we had, possible activities we both might enjoy and ideas we could both agree upon. Not all of them led to second dates, but almost none of them felt like failures. Rather than creating these second-best people in my mind, I extended positive energy and focused on success. Success for me meant a well-established relationship with both partners happy and proud of each other.
Seven months later, I am still seeing someone I met on an online dating site. If I hadn’t changed my attitude and used the rules of attraction, I might have completely passed up on my current partner as dull and not talkative enough on the first date instead of someone who was coming down with a cold but didn’t want to cancel on me as was actually the case. I could have remained single because every person who came my way has that one flaw which discourages me from following through with the relationship.
With the change in mindset, I started to notice the good traits people have rather than the negative ones. Most of them are not really perfect, but I was trying to enjoy and appreciate the dates that I had. Before heading out on a first date, I try to make it a practice to set my mind to finding reasons why we both deserve a chance to get to know each other more.
Try using the law of attraction on your next few dates. You’ll probably be surprised at how much the landscape of dating and romance changes for you.