Even at the best of times, a relationship can be as confusing as it is comforting. When human emotions are involved, things can get complicated rather quickly. A jumble of mismatched feelings, the clashing of personalities and not to mention the hurdle of communication; these are just some of the many problems couples face. Needless to say, making it work is a hard rigorous process – yet at the same time it takes just one small mistake and happiness can quickly turn sour, and when it does fail, it’s painfully heartbreaking at the very least.
Whether it lasts months, years, or even decades – we all invest a lot of time and effort into building a relationship. With that in mind, it’s not surprising that if it ever comes crashing down it would leave us a little scarred. It’s downright painful in a number of ways, especially if it’s a bad break up.
Match Made in Heaven
A few years back, I was in a long-term relationship lasting somewhere between 5 and 10 years – I thought it was a safe conclusion that we’d get married someday. We were inseparable, spending all of our free time together. It was like a match made in heaven, a couple for the ages we were called. Even though we spent day in and day out together, the time that we were apart was filled with a deluge of texts and enough calls. I guess some people could call that sweet; at the time, I certainly thought so.
We picked each other up from school then years later, from work. Our dates grew from simple movies to out of town vacations. We were growing old together, little by little. We were happy. It was almost perfect how things fell into place, like a fairy tale where everything was going our way. Sure, we also had our set of problems but we talked them through and dealt with them as best we could. It was a grand time in our lives and I remember those memories fondly.
Why wouldn’t she be there for me?
As the years dragged on, the once abundant amount of energy, we had slowly disappeared. Instead of dates, we often preferred to stay in and enjoy each other’s company. My once frequent shower of cute and cuddly gifts disappeared. That once unlimited amount of effort and time that I had put into our relationship slowed down to a crawl to a point that I would be too busy to be with her. At the time, my friends and a number of hobbies were certainly interesting and demanded my time. After all, I knew, she was there for me, and she was the love of my life. Why wouldn’t she be there for me? As it turned out as the years passed, I could never have been more so wrong in my life.
I grew complacent in my duties as a boyfriend as the man who loved her. Some examples of my regretful neglect include forgotten presents, a few date cancellations, and completely reversing my habit of picking her up from work. It went from everyday to almost non-existent. All in all, that kind of thing that was hurtful when it occurred wouldn’t really break a strong relationship, but a lot of little problems could become intolerable after a while. The sad thing was, even though I was a little distanced, she tried her best to be right there for me, to support me and my ambitions anyway.
She Turned Cold
There are no words in any language to know how much I regret my actions; the warning signs were all there – I just failed to see them and they may haunt me for the rest of my life. One day, she finally had enough and broke up with me after a small argument. I didn’t even have time to react before she distanced herself. Slowly but surely she turned cold and uncaring, like the clichéd ice queen novelist’s love to write about. I chased after her of course, but eventually she moved away and ignored any of my advances to reconcile since.
The Soul Lesson
It’s been years since the break up, I’ve had all that time to reflect on what I did wrong, what I could have done better. I even searched the whole Internet and came across a site where I read how our soul mate comes into our life to teach us a “soul lesson”. It’s so true.
I’ve come to the realization that it was mostly my fault, that I took her for granted and led us down this path to where we no longer have any communication. I didn’t give her the time or the attention she deserved. I failed both her and myself.
It’s a harsh life lesson and that’s why I’m determined to share it. Love is a great emotion, but, please never ever take it for granted. A person’s love can disappear in an instance like a flick of the switch, or slowly dissipate like water on a sunny day. It’s a horrible feeling and I can’t seem to think that I may have lost my one and only soul mate.
I know deep down that my heart will heal, in fact, it’s mostly healed, but when someone has been a part of your life for so long the wounds may take longer to heal. I know that eventually, some way and somehow, I’ll find someone that’ll make me happy and I will remember this lesson. Never take anything for granted especially the people you love the most.