The candlelight is flickering and the person across the table is looking at you flirtatiously…the wine’s is flowing and the conversation—totally natural. Still, first dates can bring a flutter of nervousness. Whether you’re having the time of your life at a local café or you’re hanging out with friends in a neighborhood pub, there are some things you should never talk about when meeting someone for the first time.
Never ever, under any circumstances, bring up these things during a first date.
1. Your Exes – Don’t. Talk. About. Your. Ex. Not how great they were, nor how horrible you were treated by your ex. What you divulge about the experience with your ex, may cause your date to feel uncomfortable and insecure about being with you. As you sit across from your date, keep the conversation light and humorous.
2. Politics – Guess what? Your opinion on presidential politics has about a 50/50 chance of falling flat. Don’t risk an awkward political debate while on a date just to further your cause. Save it for your long time friends, who value your opinions, even when they disagree with you.
3. Your Cats – Whether you’re a dude or a smoking hot lady, owning cats as a single person, sends an unflattering message you shouldn’t have to defend. No one thinks Fluffy sleeping habits are interesting, except you, anyway.
4. Your Past Transgressions – If you had a turbulent childhood or done things that lead to an arrest for misdemeanor or had a divorce caused by your reckless affair, it isn’t necessary to air out the guilt you feel and burden your date. Keep in mind, your are on a first date. Save that heavy stuff to after you get to know each other well. After a period of time, when there’s a comfortable feeling, then you talk about your past.
5. Your Bodily Functions – If it’s something a toddler, or a teenage boy would find funny, keep it to yourself. Don’t gross out your first date. If you do, there may not be another date with this person.
6. Your 5-Year Plan – You’re on this date hoping to meet that special person. To avoid scaring away someone you really like, keep things light, really light. It’s not wise to talk about marriage plans and how many children you want on a first date. Show that funny side of you. Don’t reveal too much!
7. Your Family Baggage – So your mom has had issues with drugs and your dad, well, you haven’t seen him since he thoughtlessly abandoned you as a young child…oh wait, sorry, was that a plot for a book you are writing? Even if it’s part of your true life story, it shouldn’t be a conversation on a first date. Remember! It’s a date, not a therapy session.
8. Your Finances – No one should have to tell you, that talking about money is a turn-off for most people. It’s a classless thing to do. It goes without saying, in this world, some people make more than others. The haves and haves not. This type of conversation can lead to awkwardness and a reason to end the date early.
First date etiquette has changed. There are group dates to casual coffee meet-ups to Skype conversations across continents. But that doesn’t mean the rules of engagement has completely changed. There are things most people still won’t say or do on a date. A first date is too fragile and can easily be ruin with a thoughtless remark or failing to show courtesy in the treatment of someone.