Anyone who has been in a long term relationship has experienced the ‘couple slump’, or the ‘relationship rut’, couples tend to get into after they’ve been together a few years. It doesn’t mean you love each other less; it just means you feel settled. Things get predictable, routine sets in; you both get comfortable and make less of an effort.
Evenings once consisting of deep conversations, intimate dinners and hours of tantalising sex, now turn into nights spent watching Have I Got News for You, followed by 8 minutes upstairs in the missionary position. But what’s lost can easily be found! Rediscover your passion with these nine simple tips.
1) Spice up your life This may sound bizarre but spice your own life up first and the spice will spill over into your relationship. What made you happy before you were together? Going running? Singing in the shower? Amateur dramatics? Whatever it is, take it up again. You’ll notice a difference in your own happiness and this will be infectious to your partner. They will look at you with revived interest, remembering the vitality they fell in love with.
2) Introduce something new to the bedroom A toy, a porn film, even a new lube – these little things go a long way and do wonders for the sex drive. Reviving passion between the sheets takes effort from both partners, but once the flame is back you’ll both feel smoking hot!
3) Take a holiday This can be the ultimate spark reviver. If you’re strapped for cash, just take a short break in a cheap but lovely B&B. The new surroundings will help you focus on each other for a change.
4) Try a new activity together You could take up anything from salsa dancing to bungee jumping! Activities will help you bond and break out of your usual routine. With each new thing you’ll discover something new!
5) Spend a day in bed It’s a Sunday and you have no particular commitments. Don’t get up. Just stay in bed all day! Order food and eat it in bed. Wear nothing but underwear and just wrap your bodies around each other. Revel in the intimate laziness and you’ll be surprised how much you reconnect.
6) Organise a regular ‘date night’ Make it an absolute rule that you will go out somewhere together for dinner and a movie, or out for cocktails. Spend some time getting ready, putting nice clothes on, doing your hair, making an effort. This will remind you of when you were dating and you’ll feel the spark again.
7) Sexy nightwear Ladies, if you don’t feel comfortable wearing revealing or risqué lingerie, consider buying some sexy nighties. If you arrive for bedtime in a silky black lace number, you may be greeted in a fairly amorous way! Keep it on for as long as possible, and then slip it off slowly, maintaining eye contact. He won’t know what hit him!
8) Plan an evening of sex Grab some new lingerie, a massage candle and prepare some tasty finger food. Send your man a sexy picture while he’s at work, and tell him one thing you’re going to do to him later. You won’t believe how quickly he comes home!
9) Kiss every day It doesn’t matter if it’s in the morning before work, at lunch for no reason, in bed while you’re cuddling or in front of a movie. Kiss slowly, touch each other’s faces, then close your eyelids as you sink into the kiss.
Never underestimate the power a kiss can have. Please share any more tips you have stored up! We all love a bit of spice!
Susannah Perez is a happy fashion blogger with a passion for passion! She loves to write about sex and relationships, a veritable UK Carrie Bradshaw.