I miss her desperately, i can see her in my mind, her smile, her beautiful brown eyes, her hair.. i love her energy she makes me feel higher than any drug could…
When she talks i listen to her every word, her voice is soft and sweet, i love her pronunciation , her accent and the way she uses body language to punctuate her words , i love her…..
It seems so long ago but at the same time only yesterday since i held her in my arm’s, made love to her, Kissed her lips, and fell asleep in her arms, i long for those nights again…
When i saw her last it had been about a month since we didnt see eachother and then, the second she walked into the room i was breathless … i mean really !! i thought “my god, how are you so perfect?” i would have got down on one Knee for her right then…..
What hurts the most is knowing that she’s with someone else, someone who doesnt deserve her, doesnt know what he’s got, cant treat her the way she should be, cant give her the thing’s that matter, not material stuff, that kind of love where you become a better person because you want to be all you can for her, be there for her in the good times and the bad, share life together, build a future together….
I know she cares, and i think i know she wants it too…
I can see it in her eyes, i can hear it in her voice, in the way she smiles at me, holds my hand…
Its a look she gives of wanting something but can’t quite take the step….
I dont know if i should try and give her that push or if i should stand back and let thing’s fall where they may….
But i’ve been hurt by waiting before, if you want someone shouldn’t you fight for them ?? show them how much you truly care about them ?? It’s hard to know….
If happiness is being able to wake up every morning next to the person you love, then i can only say that the first thing i think of when i wake up and the last thing when i lay down to sleep is you… Mariana, I LOVE YOU.
June 14, 2009 at 4:40 am
you write such beautiful words and it probably takes a lot to put that all down and pour out your heart so well done for that..
in my experience it will only make you sick waiting..
dont you imagine her with someone else, kissing them, touching them it is not real love if it is stretched between people. and shame on her for having 2 guys wrapped around her finger, its selfish.
i know how much it hurts to cut ties its pain and you never quite regain trust or find the same bond for a very long time, but if you walk away you can keep your dignity, you can put your heart on the line then walk away holding it intact rather tahn letting yourself fall into a puddle of what could be..
we dont choose who we fall in love with it would be so much easier if we could but its experience that leads you to true understanding thats why old people are wise they feel and hurt and see and know.
hope my words could have helped you a little.
good luck and have courage