Both my partner and me are divorced with two children each. We all get along really well and have the usual relationship up and downs but the other day he kept on asking me, are you sure your happy?
I constantly tell him how happy I am and how much I love him. Why does he doubt my happiness?
Please explain this to me.
Min Min says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:09 pm
If he doubt your happiness when you constantly tell him how happy you are then there’s a personality conflit between you, that is, he requires a lot more expressiveness than what your personality naturally allows you to offer. If this is the case, I would suggest you to just leave it the way it is, without worrying too much about his doubts. If this will be the very reason that might affect your feeling in the future, there’s not much you can do. He asks too much.
January 29, 2009 at 8:31 pm
maybe he’s not happy so he keeps waiting for you to ask for a divorce so he doesnt have to hert you
Joe Taylors says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Yep, I think it boils down to confidence. I know I’ve been there.. bad relationships; you want so badly to do everything right..
He probably wants to give you the world and he wants to make darn sure he is giving you everything that YOU want. He certainly doesn’t want to be sitting a year from now wondering why it failed; asking you if everything is alright he hopes will head that off..
It might be you just need to occasionally reassure him in different ways. Tell him how much you appreciate and love him.
Every person requires a different level of communication and reassurance.. and ones’ past can really influence this. Do we ever really know everything our significant other has been through?
I wouldn’t look at this as a fault. He’s simply cares a lot about you. 🙂
November 27, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Ok here is a man’s take on this one, and I don’t say this to be rude or “a guy” thing. But are you two on the same level as to what makes the other happy? Do you even know what he means when he keeps asking? I ask sometimes as I want to make my wife happy, but I can sometimes tell she is not “ok” with something that has happened in the relationship. (kids as well here and not all hers as well.) Its hard to keep the family unit happy and often its a feeling that we need to know if all is ok. With 4 kids there are a lot of things that could be upsetting him you or the 4 kids.
The key is straight out communication, as men say there is a problem if we see one as women tend to hide the true nature and want the men to know what the problem is.
I hope this helps. 🙂
November 27, 2009 at 12:08 pm
because he had a previous failed relationsihp there’s a great possibitlity he’s scared of another one. Even though you constantly reassure him, he will still be nervous he’s goingto do something wrong and lose another love of his life. My suggesttion is not to really question him about it becuase its just an insecurity of his that will probably go away with time. as he sees security with you he will become more confident in himself and in your happiness.