Sex Weakness

About 5 months ago a friend of mine brought along a girl she knew from her neighborhood to come party with us. We talked a little, drank a lot, and she ended up in my bed with me that night. The next day she left and i didnt know her name and really wasn't all that concerned if id ever see her again. Later that day she sent me an e-mail and we started talking a lot and i learned that she was actually a really cool person and i became a lot more attracted to her.
We learned that we had a lot in common and i started to think about her as more than just a one-night stand. I actually began to like her and care about her. she told me from the start that she'd just gotten out of a 5 month relationship but the more we got to talking, the more i noticed that her life with her ex was still very complicated and i realized it was not a good situation. Regardless, we continued dating for a month more or so until she finally freaked out and said we could only be friends because she didn't want to lie to her ex about seeing someone new -- it seemed that every time the sex got better, she got more and more scared.
We haven't had been intimate with eachother for almost 2 months and are trying to just be friends but last night after talking about how sex would be bad the next time we see eachother, the conversation quickly turned into some really good phone sex. What have i gotten myself into? Is this a fling? Are we better just as friends even though the sex is so good or does it seem that we might have something real together? My friendship with her is really important at this point and i dont want to lose her but i know that we're both weak for eachother. What should i do?

- Miggzy

New Guy

i need some help. im in a year long relationship with a guy who loves me so much and of course i love him back. 3 months ago we had a 2 month break because I thought I only liked him as a friend. Just before we broke it off i met another guy who was very sweet, shy and caring. Not being up myself, but he seemed to really like me. I'm still not sure if i broke up with my boyfriend because i saw this new guy as something different and, well, "new". Anyway, i became interested during the time i had broken up with my boyfriend. I don't fall for guys very easily and normally not that quick. I know he wasn't a rebound guy either, he was more than that. In the 2 months i was apart from my boyfriend the new guy and i became kind of a couple but without him actually asking me out. We didn't have a sexual relationship but we kissed when no one was looking. One day, he had suddenly made best friends with alot of my girl friends and became more interested in them than me. I was hurt and wanted him to know, so i kind of stopped talking to him as much. The sad thing is, he didn't seem to notice and we drifted apart. After a month, my ex seemed to grow up alot and asked if we could try again. I said yes. A few months after we started going out again, the "new" guy seemed to start talking to me. Of course, i was standoffish after he screwed me over for my friends. And as I hadn't picked him for the dickhead type i was pretty hurt. When he contacted me he didn t seem to want a real friendship. See, id slowly discovered that no one he has ever met has ever disliked him, surely not despised him like i did. And so, i think he was trying to calm the waters a little. Eventually i warmed up to him again... i thought i had gotten over him with my hatred but no.. i still felt for him despite the fact i was back with my boyfriend. Anyway, recently i decided to see him, try a friendship again, partly because i still like him. Turned out the time he spent ignoring me and vice versa, he had changed. ALOT. He'd become a party animal, new friends, implied i was simple and boring because i like picnics and early nights. Its interesting to note that he often msged me drunk telling me he missed me. Only when he was drunk. All other times he never replied to my messages. So anyway, when i DID see him it was kind of disappointing. I couldnt see the sweet, nice, caring guy i had seen all that time ago. When we really started talking he asked if i was still with my boyfriend, i said yes. Then we kind of talked about what had happened to us. I told him i had really liked him. He said he "didn t know what to say"...he seemed generally speechless. After we talked, i messaged him asking if everything was different would i be good enough for him and his new life? He said the simple answer was yes but the problem wasn't simple. he said he needed time to think. later on in the night he sent me a message "you do understand why i didnt kiss you tonight dont you?". i replied. i fell asleep waiting for a message back. i messaged him in the morning and no reply. I messaged him again a week later, just asking how he was. He replied like nothing had really happened. I had told him the nigh ti had seen him that i would never get over him. He hasn't mentioned anything we talked about that night since. I told him i was sick of trying with him and it wasnt worth it anymore. He never replied.


I'm sorry this is an essay and a half...i hope you will take the time to read it. i need help. I dont know if i should cut him out…try and forget him. Tell my boyfriend about him. I feel so bad liking someone else while i am with him. I love my boyfriend though…and i guess i only REALLY LIKE this other guy. But he just seems so awesome despite the fact he has changed. Maybe its just my memory of he was that i want back.

- Rabbit

In Love

My partner says he loves me, and I asked him if he was in love with me, and he said no. He has been married twice before, and he said he has never been in love with anyone. He has been hurt in the past, and I dont know if this is a barrier he is putting up. I have no doubt he loves me, and he always tells me why didnt we meet years ago. But I am very hurt that he says he is not in love with me.

- Karen

Time

Last time, we talked about the topic "Choice" and focused on the Choice between friend and lover. The result of the two specific cases we discussed is apparent that the lovers have to say goodbye. So before move on to next topic, we need to help with the popular "Love or Not" inquiry first.

As we mentioned in "Friend vs. Lover", there are two major breakthroughs: relationship and personality.

Different personalities react differently. This girl said, if he cheated on you, go kick him. Another one said, make sure that this guy your with treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Don't settle for less. People with such personalities are more likely to get over the pain in a short time.

I sum up this topic in great detail as follows in the hope of helping some other people whose personalities don't allow them to easily get over the pain.

When you have to say goodbye to someone you still love, the situation is always like this: your mind says let him go but your heart says hold on. Please read the following notes carefully and if necessary, over and over again till you feel it helps.

A relationship is where both people give it their all and put everything into it

There are different reasons that we have to say goodbye to our lover, but whatever reason it is, we know that it's the end. This is something you must realize first. If not, no one is able to truly help you. Remember, if hes done it once, he'll do it again and you deserve better than that. It's YOUR life and you only get to live it once.

Timeout

What you have to do is to separate, with no contact, give yourself time to close out that part of your life. Remember, its hard to go through another door when the other door is still open. There are indeed tough situations that for whatever reason you still have to face him every day. If you believe that it's a really hard situation for you to possibly forget him, then sometimes to move to another place may be necessary, depending on your strength. Imagine a life without him. Live a life like you have never met.

Keep yourself busy and meet new people

What you need to do is to hang out with friends, go to movies or parties, do whatever you can to get out of the house or just keep yourself busy and meet new people.

Don't be involved in another relationship too soon

How soon is too soon? It depends on whether you believe that you have passed "timeout" and forget about your ex. To look for comfort from someone else will only hurt you more and even worse it will hurt the person you seek comfort from. This one is as important as the first point, otherwise, no one is able to truly help you out.

It hurts but eventually you will find someone better

Eventually, you'll end up meeting another guy even better than this one that will make you so much more happy. People did find true love and happiness later. You will be thankful to lose him when someone else nicer comes! On the other hand, if he would have stayed then things could have turned out a lot lot worse. This is a statistics-proved conclusion. Again, as we mentioned in "Friends vs. Lover", sometimes when people are tied to an unhappy relationship, they will always complain that they are not as lucky as their friend who finds his / her true love, nevertheless, they aren't aware if they don't finish their ongoing relationship, it's very hard for them to find true love. Remember this!

Time understands love; time also heals wound

Just hang in there, everything will be okay. You just need to give it time. Time heals all wounds and if you just live life to the fullest everything will be alright.

Simply quote two song titles for you: one is from Eragon; the other one is from Bridge to Terabithia.

Keep holding on and Keep your mind wide open!

Confused

Well first id have to say that im confused whether i still love mah bf or not.....i really dont understand mah feeling for him ne more...i get pissed of at him most of the time; we fight a lot; we call each other names; i tell him that i hate him all the time; i try and kick him out but he never leaves when i try to....and the worse thing is that when i talk to other guys and start for a while after i start to like them..even tho i have a bf i feel like i want to be with someone that will treat me better and understand me better...but then again i dont want to do that because i dont wanna cheat and lower myself to the same thing that he did for me...what i mean by that is that he cheated on me once and i havent gotten over that....so i guess i want comments and advice or whatever...or to see if there are ne ppl out there that feel the same or something well if i didnt make ne sense or u dont get it just write back or e-mail me...thanks for those who have read and took the time to read what i had to say thanks

~shawty~

Love or Sex

so there is this girl i say i love and i do. she and i dated for like a year and 2 months and we broke up now. she is with another man and is having his kid along with their marriage. now every a few months she calls me again and wants to come over. we have sex and talk about our love. now every time she leaves again she tells me she won't do that. what should i do? i am at my end really; war sounds better than this game. i'm even thinking about moving all the way across states to get away. help me please

- tres

Ex Feeling

k well der is ma ex boyfriend...right and like i see him everyday @ skewl...yet i have a boyfriend....but im kinda strange to have feelings again for ma ex...i just dont know wat to do...either 4get about ma ex...or wat???

- ??

Like or not

I am seeing this guy but the only ever time I really saw him was when he wanted something. I asked him why he was using me but he said he wasnt. I really like this guy but dont know what to do. I wish things could be different between us but he had two kids.

- Jane

Boyfriend Likes Bestfriend

Hi, my name is Marlyn. I need some serious advice. My boyfriend and I broke up last Thursday. I always thought that he liked 1 of my best friends. When I asked him he would always say that it wasnt true. That I was the only person he loved and no one else. Some time later, things started changing. He didnt called me like he did in the beginning and he would act all weird with me all the time. Like if he didnt care about me anymore. One day I asked my friend to call him and start flirting with him. She said ok and she started talking to him. She asked him if he liked her and he said that he had liked her since first they met. Some days later he asked her out. She said no because he was my boyfriend and I was her friend. He told her that that didnt matter. That I wasnt going to know. At the moment I was really sad. I knew that I had to break up with him. One day, my friend called him. I was listening to everything they were saying. Right in that moment I just got in the conversation. I told him everything. HE didnt say anything. He jus got quiet the whole time. and then he hung up. I miss him soo much. I cant forget about him. I would like to know what to do because I know that he doesnt deserve me but that doesnt change my love for him. Please help me. How can I forget about him?

Forget Seen

k well I like this guy and he somewhat likes me, but we are not dating. He got a girlfriend over the weekend. I told him how I felt about it and he somewhat understand how I feel and where im coming from. All I want to do is curl up in my bed with a really sad movie and junk food, but I have to come to school and face him every day. How do i deal with the pain?

- Mindy

Love or not 3

Love or be loved
alright tricky situation here. I found out that my boyfriend of a year cheated on me a while ago, so I broke up with him even thought I was crazy in love with him, I thought it was for the best and that I wouldn't feel the same anyways. Well, it has been a couple of months, and I went to homecoming with a guy i'm not too crazy about but who is really sweet to me. But i cannot stop thinking about my ex and i still love him so much and miss him more than life. I feel like im not being fair to the new guy and I really want to get back with my ex. im not gonna go into detail but he has definitely showed me that he has changed. advice?

- Unknown

Love or not 2

Get past the feelings
Tell me how do you get past all the hurt and sorrow of a relation ship gone bad. the reasons why it had to end werent your doing it was the other that did wrong why is it i long to, forgive wishing things would miraculously change knowing deep inside it was never meant to be under existing circumstances he could never provide what i needed i still wish it was he who stood beside me or the person on the other end of the phone when it rings?

- Angelicbutterfly

Love or not 1

Well me and my bf broke up b-4 valentines day and b-4 I gave him my bff home number and he called her and talked and all out of no where he broke up with me b-cuz he was afraid to fall in love with me. He stopped calling or talking to me when I went to my other bff's house on Wed. night for church. So I started writing poems and crap. They kept talking to each other. And then today they go out and every-1 at skool asks if it bothers me and I tell them no. My mind says let him go but my heart says hold on. Ya..but see I like his "ex" best friend..and he likes me..so we go sk8ing and I turn emo again...we go outside and flirt. I felt bad but happy. However, I just really want my EX to at lease talk or call...even walk up and tell me he still cares bout me. I mean..Im so confused...and this has been happening since 1month and 2weeks ago..just plz help

-Confused Emo-