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Posts Tagged ‘Arguing with a Narcissist’

Argue over little things

My girlfriend won’t swallow her pride when it comes to situations and we argue over little things all the time. She’s in America at the moment for 3 months which Im finding really hard at the moment to deal with. We’ve been together for a bit over a year but I think she needs to compromise with me sometimes and make sacrifices as I have done.

I’ve also put her threw alot over the last 8 months with me going to jail and now rehab only cause Im young and stupid but she still stuck by me threw it all. I just need some relationship advice about my situation please. Thanks.

- Camo

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Argue over little things

Argue with a narcissist

EVER argue with a narcissist, you can’t get them to be reasonable, fair, kind, decent, or loving (much less force them to tell the truth or take any responsibility for their actions or bad behavior) As someone who grew up surrounded by highly educated, over achieving narcissists (mother, father, older sister) I know firsthand that the only thing that results from arguing with a narcissist is that you will get very hurt, very confused, rather frustrated and angry, and feel completely crazy yourself. (Which to them is a win over you) You are playing a game (and it is a game!) that they invented for themselves to win… and they WILL win, have no doubt. Facts don’t matter to them… truth doesn’t matter to them…YOU don’t matter to them (beyond what strokes their ego or serves their own selfish interests…)
The whole gist of being a narcissist seems to be that nothing matters more to them than their own self image. And those self images have nothing to do with any actual reality… Arguing with a narcissist is never going to alter that, no matter how much you want to believe that there is a good person “somewhere in there DEEP DEEP down”. Save yourself a trip to the rubber room…

- Shoop

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Argue with a narcissist

Poor Loser

We all make mistakes, do we? But with a narcissist (I will try to use more “a narcissist” instead of “narcissists”, because obviously “one” is way enough), you should never make a mistake. It sounds good in some way, in that, with such a narcissist, you will be or at least towards the most perfect person, however, as a narcissist, he / she will never admit he / she makes mistakes.

It’s not that narcissists, they don’t make mistakes, on the contrary, they make the same amount of mistakes, or even worse, when they insist on their correctness, they may end up with a wrong decision.

As long as there’s a mistake, the narcissist will blame you, but never blame himself / herself, even if the fault is extremely apparent at his / hers.

How will you deal with this? I suggest you never to argue with a narcissist over who is wrong if you do want to be with a him / her, since you will never win and the arguing never helps solve problems. It really doesn’t matter who admits who is wrong, because in the narcissist’s heart, he / she senses who is wrong (he / she is super smart don’t forget). You should be the most broadminded to contain a narcissist if you do want to stay with him / her. Sometimes it’s real tough, in that, he / she will keep blaming you till he / she is exhausted; it’s better for you to take it as if he / she was actually blaming himself / herself if this helps.

Anyway, it’s your decision whether to keep a love relationship with a narcissist or not. The above is just my humble suggestion; mostly it’s a mental torture to carry on said suggestion.

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Poor Loser