How to Have a Successful First Date with a Woman (How to Win Her Over)

So, you finally got her to agree to go out with you, and now it’s game time. No doubt, you may have some nervousness (unless you’ve been MegaDating, in which case, you’ve learned to take every first date in stride!).

Either way, you want to make sure you have a successful first date, am I right? Well, believe it or not, you don’t have to leave it up to chance. There are a lot of things you can do to increase the odds that it goes well.

Basically, you want to pay attention to anything that could negatively influence your mental state or hers. When you adjust these variables, you can actually turn a mediocre first date into a great one. Here are eight examples.

1. Make Sure She’s Warm

This may not be something you’d really think about, but failing to control the temperature on your dates can lead to a woman feeling uncomfortable and maybe even not wanting to see you again. How is this possible?

Let’s start with science: In one study, researchers actually found that warm temperatures make people feel psychologically closer to others and more generous toward them, while cold temperatures make them feel more distant.

Also, think about how you normally feel when you’re too cold. Chances are, you’re probably annoyed, can’t really focus on anything but how uncomfortable you are, and generally want to get OUT of there, stat.

Needless to say, being too cold puts a person into a state of distress. And if you’re hoping for a successful first date, this is definitely not how you want her to feel.

So do her a favor and make sure she’s always warm. This means:

  • Offer your jacket if you notice that she’s got goosebumps or is shivering.
  • Take her to warm places (or make sure she knows to dress according to whatever you’ve planned).
  • Turn on the heater in your home, and make sure it’s warm even in the bathroom and common areas.

To this last point: If you are hoping she’ll come back to your place to hang out, controlling the temperature is key. If you invite her over and then expect her to relax in a 52-degree living room, it ain’t happening. Being cold for any reason is always a sexual turn-off to a woman. Keeping your place warm is also a basic gesture of hospitality — and you don’t want to come off as an inconsiderate host. So fire up that heater to make sure she’s always feeling warm and cozy with you!

2. Time Your Date Strategically

It’s important to choose the right day and time for your dates to ensure that she’s in the right mental state for it.

When it comes to picking a day of the week, try to avoid Sundays and Mondays. Those are everyone’s worst mental state days, because that’s when they’re generally thinking about work and all the crap they have to do. Instead, schedule your dates for Saturday mornings if possible. Saturdays are the best mental state days for almost everyone, since it’s the beginning of the weekend.

As for the time of day, you want to be careful about mealtimes. In other words, if you set the time of your date around breakfast, lunch, or dinnertime, keep in mind that she’ll be hungry. Being hungry — will put her into a state of distress, like being too cold. She might even start to resent being on the date, if she’d rather be tearing into a burrito.

You might think the answer to all this is to just take her out to eat on your first date, but it isn’t. The best first date ideas are ones that are more fun and even a little unorthodox. Keep first dates in social environments and choose things that will give her an experience she hasn’t had before. Save your dinner plans for date #3.

I also recommend scheduling your date in between meals (for first and second dates). She’ll be less likely to insist on dinner, which will save your hard-earned cash!

3. Control Your Breathing

Controlling your own mental state is also important if you want to have a successful first date. If you’re feeling nervous or uncomfortable during the date, take notice of your breath.

Taking short and shallow breaths can put you in an anxious state. As Psychology Today recently reported, when we’re stressed, our breathing becomes shallow, which lowers the oxygen levels in the blood. The brain also perceives that as stress, making you breathe shallower and stress out even more. It’s one big vicious cycle.

So to combat this, focus on taking slow, deep breaths to calm your nerves and get out of your head so you can be present with her. That’s an instantaneous state change!

Plus, yoga and meditation are also great ways to naturally get better at controlling your breath in general. Hop on YouTube and do a search for things like “guided meditations for anxiety” or “yoga breathing techniques” to get a sense of how to breathe in a controlled manner, deeply from your belly. It sounds simple, but it really is a skill. Once it becomes habit, you can use it anytime to calm your nerves.

4. Dance With Her

Dancing can escalate sexual tension, because it often requires physical interaction. That being said, if you’re dancing on a first date, it’s probably safer to assume that the tension is simply sexual energy at this point, rather than sexual interest. This is especially true if you’re doing a form of partner dancing that already has a sexy aesthetic. But generally speaking, dancing can eventually make her feel sexually drawn to you … so start now!

That being said, what if you’re not a great dancer? Then learn. Check out your local dance studio for classes in hip hop or a style of partner dancing that you think would be cool.

Even if you’re not good yet, your enthusiasm to do it anyway will charm her and make her feel more connected to you. Why? First, it shows you’re not pretentious and are open to having fun. Second, it sends the message that you are confident enough to show her your weaknesses. Being willing to dance (even awkwardly!) is a way of opening up, which can make her feel more comfortable opening up to you, too.

5. Don’t Sit Too Long

When you’re stationary on a date, the energy can drop. If this happens, and you’re with someone you’ve met before or know fairly well, you can likely handle this without feeling uncomfortable. But if you’re on a first date, it can be terribly awkward. The conversation can start to feel forced, leaving you both feeling lackluster about one another.

So instead, keep it moving. Find ways to walk around rather than sitting and staring at each other, which will boost her mental state as well as your own.

For instance, you might grab a coffee and walk around town with it, before having a seat on a park bench. Then, you could challenge her to a cartwheel or handstand competition once you’ve finished your coffee. Or, you might go on a tasting crawl, hitting up local establishments to get free samples of ice cream, craft beer, or appetizers.

No matter what you choose, the constant movement will help to keep things fun and playful. It’ll also take the focus off of having to continuously think of new things to say, or new questions to ask. Ironically, this casual vibe will the date feel more original, and make you seem more interesting!

6. Be Playful

Playfulness can be a great way to shift a woman’s mental state on a date. This is especially true if she brings up a negative or awkward topic that’s bringing down the feel-good vibes.

If this happens, try using a game to shift the conversation and boost both of your mental states. The game doesn’t have to be anything big. You could engage her in a game of Truth or Dare, for example. Or, if you guys both answered survey questions on OkCupid or another dating app, you could talk about the ones you remember and why you answered the way you did. The Book of Questions is also a great source of fun (and deep!) hypothetical questions that can get conversation going. Anything works, really — and she probably won’t even notice that you’ve shifted the conversation away from the negative topic.

7. Include Puppies or Babies

Need I say more? Puppies and babies are instant mental state shifters. Include either of these, and you’ve definitely increased your chances of a successful first date.

If you both have dogs for example, try planning a dog-park date where you meet up with your pooches. You’ll be able to chat as you let the dogs run around, but it’ll still feel light and playful. Plus, your dogs will make new friends!

Along the same lines, you could get a group together for a casual day at the park, and invite both your date and a few of your new-parent friends. Not only will you get to know each other in a positively charged environment, but your new-parent friends will thank you for the extra help with their little ones.

8. Attend a Comedy Show, Film Festival, or Musical Performance

Another way to shift your mental state for a successful first date is by attending a performance or show. Try it if you’re feeling nervous about the conversation going flat. The extra background noise will take some of the pressure off of conversation and cover up any awkward silences.

So with that in mind, see if you can find a live music event, film festival at a local playhouse, open mic night for new comics, or any other kind of show that sounds fun. Just remember that since it’s your first date, you do want to be able to get to know her — so don’t pick a show that’s so loud that it keeps you from talking at all.

That said, I also recommend that you spend no more than $10 to $15. While you do want to pay for the date, there’s no reason to overspend at first. This might sound challenging, but it’s really not! Community playhouses, farmer’s markets, or other outdoor shopping/walkstreet areas often have events that are either free or inexpensive, so take a look at their schedules. Lastly, make sure you understand how long a first date should last. 

In Conclusion

Getting a “yes” to a first date is exciting, but it’s no guarantee that things will go well. If you really want to have a successful first date, you need to stay mindful of when things are going off track. Being able to influence her mental state (and yours) in those moments can go a long way in making her feel good about you, and vice versa.

Having a successful first date also depends on the individual person and situation. If you’re interested in more ideas about how to manage your dates better, feel free to book a New Client 1-on-1 Skype Session with me, so we can talk about your best (and worst!) dating experiences in detail. We’ll use that information to design a dating strategy just for you, as well as identify what you can improve, so you not only get first dates with the women you want … but second, third, and fourth ones as well!

She Doesn’t Want a Boyfriend Right Now, What Are My Options?

You’ve trolled local bars, joined some cool meetups, swiped right tons of times on Tinder, and finally — after all that effort — you’ve met a woman who’s girlfriend-worthy. Not only that, but you guys hit it off and start dating. Things are pretty much awesome.

But then, things take a weird turn. Suddenly, the texts start to dwindle, she seems less and less excited to see you, and when you ask her about it, she says THIS:

“I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now.”

What?

It’s seriously the most confusing thing to hear, especially when things seemed so perfect in the beginning. So what gives? When a woman says she doesn’t want a boyfriend right now, is there anything you can do about it? The answer is yes.

First, If She Doesn’t Want a Boyfriend Right Now, Look At Things Realistically

Try looking at the situation like someone else would. What actually happened here? It may seem like you guys are close, but did she ever say anything to give the impression she wanted anything more serious? If she didn’t, you may have asked her to make things official before she was ready.

So the question is, why did you jump the gun? There could be a serious case of FOMO going on … or maybe you’re coming on too strong?

Another thing you might want to ask yourself is, how well do you actually know her? Fantasy plays a huge part in who we’re attracted to, and if this girl matches the picture in your head of the ideal woman in a superficial way, you might have tried to lock things down too early without really thinking it through.

Do Some Digging

If you guys have mutual friends, you might want to ask around and see what you can find out about this. Her friends might know more about her relationship history, whether or not she’s been hanging out with someone else, or even what she says about you when you’re not around.

Just remember to do this subtly, because they might clam up if they think you’re trying to use them for information. Still, see what they’re willing to tell you. The real reason why she’s not willing to date you seriously could be something that she’s too afraid to say — but that everyone else knows.

Or, an even better way to do it is to simply ask her directly. The key here is not to ask her in a needy way (in other words, you don’t want to give the impression that she’s higher value than you are). But, asking her a few questions in a non-judgmental way can reveal a lot. For example, you could learn that:

  • It has nothing to do with you
  • There are things about you that are giving her doubts
  • She wasn’t right for you anyway

When it comes to having this delicate conversation though, here’s how you DON’T want to do it:

YOU: I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and would really like to call you my girlfriend.

Her: Oh, wow. You know what, I’m really flattered, but I don’t think I want a boyfriend right now.

YOU: Why? We’ve been hanging out every single weekend, we text all day long, and neither of us are seeing anyone else. Aren’t we practically boyfriend/girlfriend anyway?

Her: Yeah, but I just don’t want to get serious with anyone.

YOU: So you’ve been lying to me all this time basically? What have we been doing all this time, then?

Her: If you feel like it’s a waste of time, then go. No one’s stopping you.

Getting defensive will only box you into a corner. Assuming she’s not willing to change her mind on the spot, she’ll have no other choice than to cut ties in order to make you feel better.

But what if you responded like this?

YOU: I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and would really like to call you my girlfriend.

Her: Oh, wow. You know what, I’m really flattered, but I don’t think I want a boyfriend right now.

YOU: Are you afraid that would make things different between us?

Her: I’m not sure. I just don’t want to feel tied down, and I’m so busy these days.

YOU: I get that. I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. Even though I’m looking for a relationship, I’d still be open to hanging out once in a while as we have been.

Her: Great. I’d like that.

How is this better, you might ask? First, you haven’t forced her to cut things off. Second, you kept the feelings positive between the two of you, which leaves the door open for you to employ other tactics. For example, you might want to …

Consider a Casual Relationship

Think about it: She says she doesn’t want a boyfriend right now, but she’s still seeing you. I’m not saying anything for sure, but a casual relationship may not be off the table. That is, if you’re okay with that. If so, you’re not alone: According to Psychology Today, over 50% of people in their 20s have already had an FWB (friends with benefits) relationship at least once.

So ask yourself, what do you REALLY want? Is this someone who you really like as a person, or is she just hot? If it’s the latter … and she’s saying she doesn’t want a boyfriend right now … this actually could be the best news you’ve heard all day.

On the other hand, be aware that an FWB relationship can be disastrous if there’s part of you that honestly wants more. If you’re secretly hoping the FWB will lead to a real relationship, consider yourself warned: It won’t.

But if that’s what you actually wanted in the first place (maybe you thought you needed to make her a girlfriend in order to have a sexual relationship) then you’re in luck.

However, to really increase the odds of her agreeing to a casual relationship, you’ll need to increase the sexual tension between the two of you first. Right now, that tension might be pretty low. So, if you do nothing else, please …

Stop Treating Her Like a Girlfriend

This piece of advice is key, so listen up. If she says she doesn’t want a boyfriend, then for god’s sake, STOP treating her like a girlfriend. Like immediately.

In case you’re not sure what I mean, here are a couple of things you may be doing that simply aren’t worth it:

  • Spending ALL your free time with her. If it’s obvious that you’re spending all of your available free time with her (like both weekend days, and texting on weeknights) then it’s going to be hard for her to see your worth. Cancelling your other plans just to be with her is even worse. Instead, she needs to see that while you may enjoy hanging out with her, you don’t need to be with her. Don’t make it seem like you have nothing better to do. It’ll just hurt your cause. Be willing to say “no” sometimes, which will subtly reinforce your worth.
  • Agreeing with her, even when you secretly don’t. When we like someone, it’s easy to get all googly-eyed and say “yes” to everything they suggest. But people can feel when you’re kissing up to them, and that kind of energy lowers your attractiveness as a man, making you look less confident. Keep your opinions and express them to her. She’ll respect you for it.

Once you stop treating her like a girlfriend, you are in prime position to go in for the kill. I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to …

Reverse Friendzone Her

Reverse friendzoning means that you literally treat her like a friend, and no more. Treat her like someone you’re actually not attracted to. Like a sister, even. De-prioritize her in your life. And, here’s the harder part: If she does try to be affectionate at all, push her away. At least right now.

Putting her in the friendzone immediately after she put YOU in the friendzone will communicate two things. One, that you know you’re good enough to get someone else — to the point that you’re willing to back it up with your actions. And two, that she’s ultimately replaceable.

Trust me, even if you don’t see a change in her behavior right away, it’ll make her think twice.

Sounds harsh? It’s not, really. First, she’s already done that to you. This just exaggerates the tone she’s setting for your relationship, to the point where she can feel the consequences. Ideally, if she wasn’t 100% sure about her decision to turn you down in the first place, then making her feel what it’s really like to just be your friend could change her mind.

Don’t Wait for Her

We all know there are no guarantees in life. So if she’s saying she doesn’t want a boyfriend right now, it’s best to believe it. Not putting 100% effort and focus into your dating life is a mistake, which you’ll regret if she sticks to her decision. So you’ve got to get out there and start dating other people, even if it hurts at first.

To really get the most out of your dating life, especially at a time like this, I strongly suggest MegaDating. Once you embrace this supercharged way of dating, you’ll be seeing several women at the same time — which has enormous benefits. For one thing, once you’re in this mindset, you won’t get locked into any one woman, thinking of her as your sole ticket to happiness. Instead, you’ll know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and will develop the confidence you need to not only find the perfect woman, but make her come to you.

Once you’ve been MegaDating, you’ll have no problem fully moving on from this woman, if you have to. And would that be such a bad thing? After all, you could find the same or even better satisfaction elsewhere.

Think about all the reasons you wanted her as your girlfriend in the first place (besides sex). Is it a feeling of connection? Companionship? Those inside jokes that only the two of you share? Then, ask yourself how you can experience those things with other people or situations. Good relationships and feelings of connections are built over time — and you and you can do that again with someone else. I promise.

Choose to Learn from This

Especially if this has been a painful experience, you want to make sure that something good comes from it. So take the extra time to figure out what you can learn, because there’s always a lesson.

For example, if you find yourself experiencing heartache over and over again, you might want to see if there’s a pattern. Does this kind of thing happen a lot? Are these women similar in some way that you hadn’t thought of before? How do you typically express your interest in a woman, and can you change this in any way? Relationships can be painful, but knowledge is power.

This could be your chance to really take control of your dating life by discovering how you may be secretly sabotaging it. We all do this, but not all of us take the time to really understand how it’s occurring. Once you get a clear understanding of why this may be happening, it’ll be that much easier to change course … and find the woman you were always meant to be with.

That said, I am always available if you want an outside opinion! Book a 1-on-1 New Client Skype session with me and we can look at your particular situation together to see what might really be going on. After our session, you’ll come away with specific tips and strategies for attracting the women you really want, bringing you one step closer to the relationship you’ve been looking for. We’ll also determine if my 3-month Signature coaching program could work for you!

How to Find the Right Relationship

The holidays, together with Valentine’s Day, have come to an finish. If you’re approaching the “holiday season” single, feeling unfortunate in love, don’t fret. Instead, put romance at the high of your checklist of resolutions for the new year. Learn the way to discover the right relationship for you.

I’m Emyli, America’s Dating Coach for Men & co-founder of Emlovz.com. I do know loads about relationship, and the way to make the most of my shoppers’ seek for the good relationship. Around this time of the year, a variety of guys are fascinated about their love lives and the way to make them higher. The vacation season can also be when single males have a tendency to hear advice from nearly everybody they know on how to discover somebody. Unfortunately, a variety of this advice could be deceptive, annoying, and fairly disheartening for somebody keen to discover love.

In specific, there’s this widespread delusion about relationships that claims that love solely comes whenever you’re not trying to find it. In truth, you’ve in all probability gotten that advice from well-meaning family and friends in the previous. “Once you stop looking for love, it will find you.” Women get the identical advice all of the time.

In actuality, nothing might be farther from the fact! Looking for love is one in all the finest issues you are able to do to discover the relationship you need. The trick is to be ready, and to search sensible. Whether you’re new to relationship or have been in search of that particular somebody for some time now, learn on to study some useful suggestions that may educate you the way to discover how to find a good relationship.

One of the first things I do when working with a brand new client, is, locate what they need from a relationship. Most of the time, he is not aware of what he really wants in a girl. And as I like to inform him, “you’re not likely to find gold, if you don’t know what it looks like.”

When clients are clueless about what they need, I like to take them on a visit down Memory Lane. By evaluating previous relationships, you are able to analyze what was good about them, why it didn’t work out,  and come to realize the things you cherish most about the relationships from your past. And you wish things had been different.

I’ve discovered that is the finest approach to get a transparent image in my client’s head about what he’s searching to find. With that approach, if something promising comes along, he’ll be ready to acknowledge it.

To create your personal profile, write down 5 things you are looking for in a relationship. Obviously, you want her to captivate you, to engage you senses. That’s often the first thing guys write down on their must have list.  If you’re deeply non secular. and that’s important to you, write it down, too. If you couldn’t stand that your previous girlfriend was sadly unemployed, be sure to add one thing about her profession, goals, and ambition. 

Struggling to name your requirements? Don’t assume you’ll not choosy, and  anybody’s fine. Everyone has likes and dislikes. It’s up to you to determine what you want in a relationship with someone. If you need to learn the way to discover the proper relationship, and never the fallacious one, take a second to actually take into consideration what you need.

Evaluate Your Overall Life Satisfaction

Before setting off to discover somebody that may make you content, ensure you’re typically glad along with your life. Ask your self the following questions. Are you pleased with what you do for a dwelling? Are you content along with your friendships? Do you are feeling snug along with your dwelling state of affairs? Are your loved ones ties sturdy? Do you are feeling fulfilled financially? Is there one thing lacking in your life moreover the proper accomplice? 

The solutions to these questions aren’t all the time the best to uncover. Sometimes we’d like assist figuring out how we actually really feel inside, and what we are able to do to really feel even higher. If you want steering on enhancing any space of your life, now’s the time to attain out to somebody who may help. 

In my customized teaching applications, my shoppers and I all the time make certain to sort out this one first. After all, when you’re not blissful, you’re not going to have the option to make another person blissful, both. You’re additionally loads much less probably to discover somebody that’s best for you.

Many folks suppose that the reply to their happiness lies in discovering the proper individual to fall in love with. This is just not true. We need to be the finest individual potential once we discover love, so we can provide every part now we have to making it the good relationship with out hangups.

Set apart love for a second, and take a while to take into consideration the methods you need to enhance your life. You owe it to your self to do something it takes to discover true happiness, which as everyone knows, comes from inside. Work on being single and blissful earlier than in search of love, and also you’ll be far more profitable in every part that comes after that.

Work on Your Online Presence

Are you on Facebook? Twitter? Instagram? Do you might have a private profile on Meet Mindful? Are you utilizing relationship apps geared for relationship mined folks like Hinge and Bumble?

In this point in time, when you’re not online, you’re virtually non-existent. As daunting as which may sound to people who aren’t utilizing social media, it’s the fact. Going online to discover dates is the new regular, and it’s a fairly handy instrument to benefit from.

Facebook isn’t a relationship app, however it could actually work that approach. Lots of relationships start on Facebook these days (like mine:)). Facebook is a implausible approach to meet buddies of buddies that you simply might need loads in frequent with. If you’re probably not into Facebook, you may want to rethink utilizing it when studying how to discover the proper relationship in 2019. You is likely to be shocked when a cousin’s buddy from highschool, who’s mutual buddies along with your co-worker’s neighbor, seems to be the one. 

If you’re on Facebook and in addition utilizing relationship apps, good for you! But it’s in all probability time to consider how your profiles are doing. Are you getting matched with numerous folks? Is your inbox getting flooded with messages, or is it principally empty? When was the final time you went on a date by a relationship app? How many dates did you go on this yr?

There are a variety of methods to enhance your relationship profiles. First issues first, take a look at your profile image. Is it current? Does it make you look good? Is it blurry or too far-off? Go forward and replace it for a recent begin in the new yr.

In truth, it is likely to be time to take down all of your previous photos and put up new ones. Remember, your profile photos are very probably the very first thing she’s going to take a look at. You’ll additionally need to work in your description and replace any private info the place mandatory. You need all of the info on it to be present, up-to-date and related.

I understand how intimidating online dating could be. Knowledgeable relationship coach may help improve your online presence and ensure you’re on the proper relationship apps. I love working with guys on their social media profiles, as a result of they’re so efficient at getting outcomes. 

One of the absolute quickest methods to learn the way to discover the proper relationship in 2019 is thru MegaDating. MegaDating is my patented instructing idea of relationship a number of ladies at the identical time to diffuse your vitality and improve your self-confidence. It’s a significant proponent in serving to males keep away from the friendzone. MegaDating additionally protects males from settling for mediocre. There are so many advantages to MegaDating that I like to recommend it to anybody who needs to get on the quick observe to discovering love.

I ought to know. In 2011/2012, I dedicated to happening 100 dates as a part of a analysis challenge to discover out all I may about relationship. While megadating that yr, I realized loads about myself and about the relationship sport in basic. In addition to gaining the analysis and the experience I wanted to begin my enterprise as a relationship coach, I additionally wound up assembly my boyfriend of 6 years by the experiment. I extremely suggest it to anybody wanting to do the identical.

MegaDating helps males in some ways. First, it virtually eliminates first date nervousness. As a results of relationship a wide range of ladies so continuously, you naturally calibrate right into a assured, snug and genuine man. On the flip facet, happening a date as soon as 1 / 4 or so can depart you feeling awkward and nervous since you don’t have the calibration that comes from observe.

MegaDating additionally protects you from settling for a mediocre relationship when you possibly can have had a unprecedented one. So lots of my shoppers are prepared to leap right into a relationship, no matter whether or not or not that individual is true for them. The drawback with this thought course of is that it typically comes with adverse long-term penalties, like divorce.

MegaDating provides you a variety of choices, so you may stroll away from a nasty date with out feeling such as you’re giving up your solely likelihood to discover love. It additionally helps you take care of the concern of rejection. You’re loads much less probably to really feel dangerous about somebody rejecting you at the moment if in case you have one other date deliberate for tomorrow night time.

Set a selected variety of dates that you really want to go on in 2019. My quantity was 100. How many do you suppose it should take for you to discover the one?

If you’re in MegaDating, it’s time to go for it! Take my 2019 relationship problem and get began on an unforgettable journey that you simply received’t remorse. There’s no higher time to discover a actual relationship along with your most splendid accomplice!

Learn to discover the right relationship. Focus on avoiding errors you made in the past. One error males make is falling for the wrong girl, who’s not worth your nor effort. Watch out for ladies who create a roller coaster circle of feelings. These types of  relationships can cause real damage to your confidence. And it may take you a long time to recover from the affects of these encounters with the wrong person.

Ah! When you think the right one has come along, you feel euphoric when she smiles at you. But, soon heartbreak sets in, when she takes three days to return a textual message.

Huge upswings and downswings of emotion are unbearable. Look for someone who makes you feel secure and lets you know how important you are to her. If you are able to describe her as someone that gives you a lasting feeling, it’s a good probability she’s the right one.

The identical goes for ladies that don’t ignite that spark in you. If she’s not making you are feeling such as you’re on high of the world whenever you’re together with her, give it three dates to make sure, then transfer on when you’re positive.

How badly would you like to discover the proper relationship in 2019? Rank it for me. On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly would you like to enhance your romantic life this yr? If you scored my query a 10, it’s time for you to COMMIT and CHANGE!

When you commit to one thing and put every part you’ve obtained into reaching it, you’re probably to see it realized.

If you are motivated to discover that special relationship  and need an knowledgeable accomplished person you can rent me as your relationship coach. 

I meet clients through Skype. I can work with you every week to enhance your relationship outcomes. My customized and personal teaching applications are designed to construct your confidence and improve your social abilities. I’ll assist you to optimize your relationship profile on relationship apps and online dating websites. I also can assist you to construct your online dating profile from scratch, if presently you are not utilizing any online dating tools.

I’ll take you from zero dates to having so many dates, you might have to flip ladies down in the event that they’re not a match for you. If you’re already getting dates, I’ll assist you in choosing someone right for you and I will effectively  navigate you from the first date to the second date and onward in your dating life. 

If you have an interest in working with me, join a New Client Session at the moment. This is a reduced introductory Skype session, where I go over your relationship roadblocks, create an action plan, generate quick and long run relationship targets. I focus on whether or not my three or 12 month teaching package deal can be best for you. 

Since 2012, I’ve gone above and beyond to assist males in discovering that special relationship. You deserve to discover happiness and the RIGHT relationship. And I’m prepared to assist you make it occur.

The importance of timing | Christian Connection Blog

Part of realizing God’s will is realizing His timing for occasions in our lives. There is a time for all the pieces and a season for each exercise below the heavens (Ecclesiastes three v 1). Verse 11 states, ‘He has made everything beautiful in its time.’ God operates exterior of time as we all know it, and He hardly does issues in response to our schedule. If we will grasp and settle for this final reality, I consider our stress and frustration ranges would drop considerably. He is aware of the most effective time for issues to occur in our lives and if we enable Him, He will make issues stunning.

Many Christians consider that being exterior of God’s timing is tantamount to being exterior of His will. And once you’re working exterior God’s will on your life, issues might not go easily for you. A basic Biblical instance is Abraham and Sarah. They had waited a fairly very long time to have a baby, and even after God had promised them a son, Sarah bought impatient. She gave her maidservant Hagar to Abraham and Hagar bore him a son. If you’re accustomed to the Bible, you’ll know the story. Otherwise, look it up in Genesis 16 and 21.

Abraham and Sarah tried to do issues their very own option to result in what God had promised, but it surely backfired. The scary factor is that God allowed it, although He knew what the end result could be. Sometimes God will enable us to go forward and make errors once we resolve that we wish to be within the driving seat. And similar to the choice Abraham and Sarah made led to important penalties for generations to come back, our selections to take our lives into our personal palms can have ramifications we by no means dreamed of.

So, earlier than you embark on a relationship or rush into marriage, ask your self if the timing is true. Are each of you prepared? Are you prepared mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially? Have you taken the time to get to know one another? Or are you simply bowing to stress?

I heard a couple of younger Christian couple that bought married and fewer than a yr into the wedding, they have been having an argument and the younger man blurted out one thing alongside the traces of ‘you forced me into this, I wasn’t able to get married!’ This got here as a shock to the younger woman as a result of she thought marriage was what they each needed. I can solely think about that this younger man went together with it as a result of he thought that was what was anticipated of him. This is particularly true for Christian {couples} which have been relationship for a short time.

Sometimes well-meaning family and friends, and even church members unknowingly put stress on a pair by dropping hints and even outright asking a selected couple once they’re getting married. This isn’t very useful and we have to let individuals work out for themselves when to take their relationship to the following degree if that’s what they wish to do.

It is all the time good to know that your relationship is heading someplace however making an attempt to hurry issues is rarely a good suggestion. We must get the timing proper. Entering right into a relationship or marriage with the precise particular person on the fallacious time might be simply as unhealthy as coming into one with the fallacious particular person. Don’t give in to stress. Take the time to speak, pray and let God’s Holy Spirit information you into His excellent will on your life.

Can You Agree on Household Duties?

In a world when about half of all marriages end in divorce, finding ways to address major arguments before they fester can help you keep your relationship on the right track. Domestic duties are a source of constant strife in many marriages, but there are a few ways that you can address this issue early on- even before you get married.

Don’t think that the only choice is a 50/50 split with arduous record-keeping; instead do see what you can agree on as a couple before making a permanent commitment. Maybe one of you will handle only weekend cooking while the other takes on that job during the week.

It doesn’t matter what type of system you choose to divide up housework. What matters is that you do discuss the issue and come to an agreement before it becomes a problem.

Make a Comprehensive List

The first step to dividing the household chores is to make a full list of everything that needs to be done in a typical week. Few of us love making lists, but it’s necessary if you are going to try to make sure that everything gets done and that one person isn’t burdened with all of it.

Include the basics, like cleaning the bathrooms, but also consider family management items that are less frequent, such as paying the month’s bills or cleaning the baseboards. Once you have a complete list that both partners worked on together, you can begin to see how much you will need to divide up to make the housework even.

Divide the Good Stuff First

One of the many pleasant lessons my wife learned when we first started talking about marriage was that I actually enjoy ironing. Because she desperately hates the task, it never occurred to her that someone else would find it relaxing! We promptly made ironing one of my go-to tasks, which freed up her time for other household chores.

As you begin the division, each person should pick a few things that he will be happy to do regularly. Also, allow each person to choose one item that she absolutely does not want to do. Use these preferences as a way to ensure that both people will want to do the work that is on the list.

Be Realistic about Time

If one of you has stable 9 to 5 hours and the other has massive overtime expectations, the 9-5er will end up doing more housework. While it may not be equal, it’s certainly a saner way to keep housework from being a marital problem.

You each should estimate the time that a list will take, too, in order to help gauge how both of you see the domestic work fitting into your lives. If one of you estimates 10 hours a week to get everything done while the other says 25, you need to get a clearer idea of the actual time the work will take.

Don’t Forget to Compromise!

Compromise is at the heart of all great marriages. Housework, like finances and other common sources of marital discord, often engenders huge differences in perspective. If one of you believes that vacuuming is a daily task while the other could deal with cleaning up the crumbs once a month, dividing the chores in a way that seems equitable will be tougher.

Look at what both of you want and then begin to sort out the areas where you can compromise. Think of this discussion as a primer for other serious discussions such as child-rearing and retirement planning.

While neither of you is likely to win the vacuuming example, it’s possible that a weekly vacuuming compromise could work. Once you agree to the compromise and stick to it, neither of you has to worry about disagreeing over the issue again.

Consider Hiring Help

Let’s face it. With both of you working, there won’t be a lot of time to do housework. Even if you get home at a decent hour, you won’t want to spend every evening doing the housework. Because you each presumably support yourself before you get married, combining households should free up a little cash.

Check out the prices for a weekly housecleaning or a laundry service. Sometimes it’s better to pay for someone to do the work for you rather than continue to argue about it.

It’s important to discuss housekeeping before you get married. You may find it helpful to talk about  it in couple’s counseling- something everyone who is considering marriage should think about.

Benjamin Baker is addicted to writing. He is enjoying the research and he found himself discovering facts about all kinds of topics. He is married with 3 growing teenagers. They live in Denver, Colorado where he enjoys camping and fishing in his free time.

Relationship Takes Time

3 Obstacles to Test your Relationship

The path to true love is never easy. It comes laden with obstacles that will put your bond to the test and put a lot of strain on your relationship, although one might say that these trials are necessary in order to establish whether or not the relationship is strong with the potential to last.

I would agree with this. A relationship needs to be put under a certain amount of strain at some point, so that the pair know whether or not they can overcome things together, or if they let bad things tear them apart.

I’ve picked 3 things at random that can put a relationship under strain, with some tips on how to overcome them as a couple and emerge triumphant on the other side.

Different upbringings / backgrounds

You’d be surprised just how much conflict this can cause. It might not even become apparent until a few years down the line, but if you’ve been brought up in radically different ways and environments, you can guarantee that it will throw a few obstacles in the way.

How you are raised determines many things: how to react to certain situations, how you resolve problems and how you communicate. If you grew up in an emotionally closed household, you may find it difficult later in life to discuss emotions and resolve emotional issues with your significant other.

Listen to what your partner is saying. Do not shut them off when you feel that their reasoning is too different to what you’ve been taught. We as humans are learning all the time and it’s never too late to learn a new way of thinking.

Overcome this obstacle by accepting the differences between you and embracing them all at once. If your partner experienced something that you didn’t when you were growing up, ask them to share it with you.

This will deepen your connection and also show them that you care deeply about who they are.

Money

Whether the financial obstacle is caused by a salary being higher or lower, having very different spending habits or financial values, money is a big problem causer in relationships.

If you share financial responsibilities, then you simply must be able to discuss money without it causing tension and arguments.

If you have different spending habits, go shopping separately or agree on a spending limit and location beforehand.

If you earn more than your partner, do not brag. That’s a sure way to make your partner feel incredibly inferior and insecure. Remember that you love this person; do you really want to make them feel that way?

If you have different financial values, try and learn from theirs and share yours in a way that does not make them feel that you are forcing your beliefs on them.

One of you has a child

You get to a certain age where every potential partner you meet has ‘baggage’. If that baggage is a small human being, this is going to potentially present difficulties in a new relationship.

If you are the one with the child, please remember that the child must always come first.

If your new partner dislikes the fact that you have a child, or makes no effort to show an interest or bond with your offspring, this is a clear indication that this relationship will not be a happy one.

If you are involved with someone with a child, remember that they have a grave responsibility and you cannot get involved with the decision making when it comes to their child. This will cause conflict all round and you will end up losing.

 

Image by TRF_Mr_Hyde

A sustainable and happy relationship requires an awful lot more than love and passion. If you have found someone who shares your values, understands and appreciates who you are, loves and protects you and stands by you in times of difficulty, then you can be sure that you have found someone incredibly special.

Please remember that you deserve no less and never ‘settle’ for someone who makes you unhappy simply out of a fear of being alone.

Good luck to you and please feel free to share any tips or anecdotes in the comment section.

Susannah Perez is a fashion blogger and relationship expert. She studies human relationships and blogs about her findings to her faithful readers.

Yell

7 Causes of Arguments and Bickering between Couples

From minor disagreements to full-blown rows, relationships can be tricky business. But how easy is it to make the bickering go away? Here are seven causes of arguments along with a little advice for overcoming them.

1. Household chores

If you live together, there can be an issue over who does the housework, including cooking, washing up the dishes, doing laundry and ironing clothes. If one partner does more than the other, expect bickering to follow. To solve the problem, discuss what needs to be done and assign responsibilities. If you both know what you need to do, there are no excuses!

2. Money

Financially-based arguments are very common for couples, especially when it’s tough to make ends meet and one of you is more careful with the cash than the other. Or one of you enjoys more hobbies. Either way, this can be major source of disagreement. Sharing responsibility for paying bills is a good way to make sure you both understand your financial situation.

3. Work

Whether it’s the stress that one of you brings home, the time demands of a job or simply the fact that one of you keeps talking about work, it’s not uncommon for career to take over and lead to problems at home. Make sure you make time to hear about each other’s day, but remember that there’s more to life than what happens at work.

4. Children

How your children are raised can be a constant source of unrest, particularly if you have different ideals. You both want what’s best for your children, but that is definitely not the two of you locked in heated debates. Understanding each other’s perspectives and creating a new set of shared ideals could make for a happy family life.

5. The toilet seat

It’s a minor issue, but it’s one that’s seemingly universal. It seems that men all over the world struggle with remembering to put the seat down when they’re finished and women struggle with putting it down when they’re about to start! A little extra consideration or tolerance is all that’s needed to solve this one.

6. Time-keeping

Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been going out for a while, time-keeping (or lack there of) can be a constant source of friction. If you’re forever late to a date with your wife, then it’s time to go shopping for men’s watches. Likewise, set alarms and little reminders to ensure you don’t forget where you need to be.

7. Tidiness

Leaving dirty socks, old newspapers, dirty dishes or anything else lying around is a sure fire way of irking your significant other, especially if they take pride in a tidy home. With a little effort and consideration you can help keep the bickering down to a minimum.

Prem says:
September 20, 2013 at 4:04 pm
I never imagined even toilet seat could be a reason for bickering between couples ;). Arguments between couples have become quite common now and if they look closely they would see that the arguments are just a waste of time which can be easily sorted out if they sit and talk. Work and money keeps us busy most of the time and because of this we tend to forget to live life, nobody would talk about the presentations which we gave during work at the end of our life. Couples should understand that this beautiful life is meant to ‘LIVE’ and live it to the fullest, why to drag and stretch same old issues and make your own life sad. Live in peace.:)

hang_in_there

Which Guy Do I Want to Be With?

I’ve known this guy for 5 years. The first day we met,  we had sex. I live in California and had a best friend that lived in Louisiana which is where I met him when I visited her one summer. Ever since we met, we’ve had an infatuation with each other.

 

He recently had gotten incarcerated and we still keep in touch. Around the time when he got locked up, I met this other guy. He’s locked up too but somehow was able to contact me through someone’s cell phone and we’d been talking for a few months.

This new guy gets out next month which is in June and he’s been promising me the world when he gets out like massages, back rubs, getaways and a few other things. The other guy can’t promise all that. In my past relationships, I’ve always had to be the one to pay for everything. I have interest in this new guy but is it wrong for me to be with someone that can help support me more than just sexually?

The old guy thinks this new guy is selling me wolf tickets. I won’t know for sure till he gets out. The old guy is locked up all the way in Wisconsin Dodge correctional not sure for how long though. Could be from 9 to 18 months. The new guy is locked up in Solano county which is way closer to me. And he gets out June 6.

I care about both guys but I’m confused to which one I want to be with. Sex with the old guy is too good I would daydream about it sometimes. lol… I don’t want my relationships to be just about sex because I am trying to settle down and am trying to find that one guy that could support me in every way physically, mentally, emotionally, monetarily too (if that’s a word  lol).

To be honest I haven’t even met the new guy face to face yet. I have about 60 letters from him I keep in a box since he first started writing me in August, September of 2010. but we’ve been exchanging pictures. Help me…!!:((((

– patricemarie1981

Min Min says:
May 4, 2011 at 7:30 am
You don’t need to make the choice until you meet the new guy. People in person can be very different from them in writing. You don’t even know if you would like him or not. He could disgust you too, needless to mention if he could satisfy you physically or monetarily. Even if he didn’t make empty promises, until you meet him, he’s not a choice at all.

In your case it seems sex and money are equally important. If the new guy disappointed you you could still keep searching until you meet a third guy or see the first guy again.

Well, you know what, the perfect guy who would satisfy you physically and monetarily is hard to encounter. Either pick one or keep waiting.

dieselfit says:
September 9, 2013 at 11:06 am
I’m so sorry about your difficult situation. I know how hard it can be. Honestly, you need to sit down, leave everything be and just breathe out with relaxation. Ask yourself this, if you had one day to live, what would you do? Life is short, you can’t depend on someone if he is locked up, or you have feelings that he will be locked up again and again. You have a choice, and you can either let yourself sit in an empty room or live life the way it’s suppose to be. You can be loyal AND alive. There’s nothing wrong with breaking up with the first guy, everyone has the right to choose. Life is short, hope you can choose!