Relationship Advice

I’ve been friends with a girl for 3 years in college. Now college is over and she is committed and going to marry soon. But I always text or call her everyday. I try to control myself from being distracted but then give up and call/text her. And when I do, it feels normal and boring. And when I finished texting or calling, I am normal for a while then again start to think of the previous chat and want to chat again. This is crazy rite?

She never texts me first but she’ll say we’ll be friends forever and be in touch. She’s the most beautiful girl friend I ever had but I don’t want love to ruin my career and I don’t want especially her as a life partner but only as a lifelong friend. Yet why my actions are like this? I need a third person view on this. How do I stop thinking about her and control my thoughts from distraction?

- suresh

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Tagged: Bestfriend vs Lover

I spend time with my best friend’ baby sister and she is sexy and beautiful and I am sexually attracted to my best friend’s sister & I really want to have sex with her and i’ve always been attracted to her in some way but i’ve always told myself she’s not my type. 

I Was talking to her the other night and for some reason that changed. I think its because I got the vibe she was attracted to me and my best friend doesn’t like I like his baby sister and me and her flirt each other in front of him and I Was talking to her the other night and for some reason that changed and When I really focused on it I realised she had a lot of qualities I like.

I think the problem I have is that i’ve pushed away or scared off the girls that have showed an interest in me. I worry that if I pursue my attraction and it goes bad it’ll damage my relationship with my best friend. I think some part of me isn’t done figuring out what I want from a relationship. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want to lose friends but I don’t want to pass up an opportunity at real happiness.

Sometimes I fear I can’t trust myself though. I worry sometimes that I want something so much that I see things that aren’t there. Maybe she really isn’t my type and this is merely a momentary laps in judgment which would lead to a disaster if pursued. I’m thinking i’ll invite her out to lunch some time and take it really slow try being ‘just friends’ for a while and get to know her better and try not to flirt too much and what should you think I do with her and should risk my friendship with her brother and what do you think I do?

- leighray092383

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Is it worth risking a friendship to tell your best friend you have deeper feelings than just being friends? It is my opinion that feelings that go unprofessed often go unanswered.

- ksweyer

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Tagged: Bestfriend vs Lover