- Katheryn

When I talk about the friendship between a man and a woman I’m not talking about the acquaintanceship with no emotional ties on a saying hello basis (e.g. hundreds of “friends” on your Face book), nor am I talking about the friendship with the spouse of a best friend, or the working relationship with a co-worker … I’m talking about the friendship between a man and a woman as strong as the one between heterosexual same-sex friends.

Truth: * Men Benefit More from Cross-Sex Friendship

Women spend the majority of their time together discussing their thoughts and feelings, while males rarely share feelings or personal reflections.

Therefore, men enjoy talking and relating to women—something they can’t do with their buddies.

Meanwhile, same-sex friendships bring women higher quality and enjoyment. Because women expect more emotional rewards from friendship than men do.

Women have higher risk of emotional attachment than men do in a cross-sex friendship, otherwise women would rather choose a same-sex friendship.

Men can be attracted to someone and be friend at the same time because men don’t get emotionally involved in the same way as women do. Men can stay friends without acting on their fantasies. However, does NOT acting on your fantasy make you a real friend?

Truth: * Attraction

If a man and a woman have dated, and broke up, then and only then can it be possible for them to remain “just friends.” In that, they eventually broke up after attempts to work out the relationship and failed, and they have known each other well, have built trust and ties, and again they have lost attraction to each other, and therefore they are more likely to become true friends.

If a man and a woman have not dated at all and are “just friends,” they will share stories and build trust. They will soon figure out how much they understand and appreciate each other and will most likely end up dating (it can take years)

There are a lot of examples when a man and a woman were friends for a long time and got married. There are also a lot of examples when a friendship between a man and a woman was ruined after one of friends fell in love with another person (not just the physical variety of love) If friendship couldn’t survive the end of love, it was never meant to be.

The foremost truth: Why do a man and a woman decide to be friends?—There’s attraction.

* Conclusion

Friendship between a man and a woman is like a walk along a very narrow land separating the bay of knowing one from the ocean of love. A high tide tends to flood the piece of land.

A man and a woman can only be “just friends” before or after a relationship. Their friendship will eventually lead to either sex (that can be in verbal, in thoughts or in dreams) or love (including platonic love and one-sided attraction. In platonic love, there’s no sexual activity, but very often there is sexual attraction) unless both find each other unattractive.

Friendship between a man and a woman is as rare as true love. Give up your belief of friendship between a man and a woman; find your love first.

- Anna

- Unknown

Friendship vs Love

The related cases we will refer to when we address this topic are under “Bestfriend vs Lover” menu.

Love has three major steps:
1. Fall in love;
2. Test love;
3. Love lasting or love ends.

If you love someone but you have never expressed your love, even if you suppose that you both love each other, then it’s not yet a love relationship; in this case, if a third person appears, you will be quite passive. This is a typical “Shy Guy” issue we will address later. Therefore, the boy in Best friend vs girlfriend case is in a “passive voice”.

Regardless of the boy’s being shy, let’s assume that the girl and him are in a love relationship when the other boy appears. The followings are the chances:

1. The boy talks to the girl and asks her if she loves him or the other boy. If the girl says that she loves the other boy, then the boy can have two different reactions:

one is relatively narrow-minded, to try all his best to disallow this to happen by all means (begging her, prohibiting their connection etc.) The successful rate is 50% or less. The successful part may be that the feeling between the girl and the other by will be gone due to disconnection, however, it doesn’t mean that the feeling between the girl and this boy will definitely be kept or deeper. The risk is that the girl may be negative against the boy’s “force”. Remember, even if she doesn’t love the other boy anymore, this doesn’t definitely mean that she will still love this boy, while the boy takes the risk in losing a friend at the same time. To be a true winner, one needs to win the other person’s heart.

The other one is more broadminded, to set her free. If she does love the other boy then she’s not yours; if she comes back to you, then she is yours.

Always remember the three love steps. The girl falls in love with the other boy. It’s understandable. The girl and this boy been together since KJ and the new boy’s appearing is of course refreshing. Just watch out their “love steps” and see the result.

Back to “set her free”. Remember to win one’s heart is true art. Be broadminded when she comes back. This simply means that love between the girl and the other boy is failed during the test, and all what this boy needs to work on might be to bring more freshness into the relationship.

2. Don’t forget your friend. Friendship vs love, which one is more important? It depends. If the lover is your true lover, of course she is more important, otherwise, friend is not less important. It happens that friends say goodbye to each other due to a boy or a girl; it happens more often that lovers say goodbye to each other with or without a reason; what is more, it happens too often that friends are forever!

Don’t forget to talk to your friend if you both fall for a girl. Friendship also needs to be tested! Talk to your friend that you love the girl. Tell your friend that you cherish your friendship as well as your love for her. Tell your friend that you welcome fair competition. Tell your friend that regardless of the result you always take him as your friend. In this way, you secure a true friend and if luckier, a true lover; or you secure a true friend, luckily, don’t keep a relationship with a “false” lover; or the “friend” is not your friend if he betrays you or if he refuses your fair competition or if he leaves you when he “loses”. You have nothing worthy to lose; you have everything worthy to gain.

3. It’s important not to introduce your lover to your best friend till the feeling between you and your lover grows strong enough, and before that anything may change it, especially a best friend, in that, you talk a lot about your lover to your best friend and about your best friend to your lover, therefore, they have more chances to know each other better and you actually created the chance for them to be close to each other. I’m pretty sure when a couple’s feeling goes truly strong, it will be firm enough to resist any other temptation.

“Friend or lover” is the other choice between friendship and love. This friend and lover is one person, and he or she can be your friend whom you are being in love with. So to be friend or to be lover, this is a question. To upgrade your friend to lover you take the risk of possibly losing a friend in the future. This person can be your ex-lover. To downgrade a lover to your friend again, can you still be friends?

- Elvis

- HayTheM