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Posts Tagged ‘Choice’

Josh or Harry

Help ! I’ve been with a guy for 6 years and cheated on him with my first love when I was 14 and I’m pregnant and don’t know which guy it is, whether it’s Harry or Josh?

And I’m confused about who I should be with. I kicked Josh the fiancĂ© of 6 years out and cheated on him but I could trust him, yet he drank and hit me a couple of times, however, he wanted a family and to get married.

The ex Harry I’ve been dating for a month and he is successful but moody all the time and he thinks the kid’s his and wants to be dad.

But I love Josh and even after I cheated on Josh with Harry, Josh is still willing to be with me and get back to how it was before I cheated with Harry.

I’m confused. Should I go back to my ex of 6 years or work out the kinks with the Harry and we’ve only been dating a month and I’m so stressed and pregnant, help?

- Emily

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Love with no result

To avoid 8 kinds of love with no result, you will live a life with less hurt. Do not create self-hurt and do not let these love with no result overshadow your view of a much better and healthier life near at hand.

8 kinds of love with no result are as follows:

1. When you care about him but he’s just not that into u

Love is supposed to be mutual, and when he’s just not that into u, to avoid self-hurt, you had better give him up as soon as possible before your love is getting deep.

Your love is actually never satisfied and the harm is not less than drugs’. You lose yourself in this unbalanced relationship and you will feel you are fooled and painful.

Vice versa, do not hurt someone you are not that into.

2. When you only love his potential

You don’t really love him as is and you just love the one he might become in the future, then he is just someone you want to shape but not your love.

If you always hope to change him to satisfy you, then it’s rather gamble than love.

Vice versa, if he always wants to change you, then he doesn’t love you; leave him as soon as possible before you get hurt.

3. When you want to help him

You have pity on him and you feel obliged to cheer him up; you are afraid if you leave him he will be hurt.

He’s fragile, dependent and unloved. You have pity on him and then you try to love him. He will be grateful to you.

It’s alms giving that lacks respect for love.

Vice versa, if you are in need of help, please be thankful to him as a friend only, no further.

4. When you admire him as an idol

This kind of love is unequal. If you tend to love someone you admire, you usually lack self-confidence.

Vice versa, if someone admires you, just keep the friendship as is and do not “upgrade” it to love.

5. When you are just attracted to his appearance

It’s rather infatuation than love. Vice versa, if you are a beautiful woman, don’t be easily carried away by the number of wooers handy, otherwise, you may contrarily be suffered. A beautiful woman is a target of aggressive men who are addicted to competition, not love.

6. When you are together in an unusual occasion for a short period of time

This kind of feeling is not long lasting, since you don’t really get to know each other, especially when the occasion is changed later on.

7. When you just want to be opposite

When you are told to find someone rich, you intend to find someone poor……you just want to prove something, then you don’t truly love whom you choose.

When your parents dislike boyfriend, you insist on; you just want to be opposite.

8. When he is not free

Being free means he can be with you freely, unmarried, unengaged, not dating someone else, not in a love relationship, single and only be with you.

If the man you are being in love with promises you that he will leave the other woman very soon; or he says that he doesn’t love that woman and he loves you; or the other woman accepts your existence but they don’t plan on break up and he wants to be with you for a while; or he just broke up, but they might be together again……then he’s not free.

If you date a man who is not free, regardless of excuses, result is the same, that is, your heart will be broken, and the truth is that you only receive the portion of what the other woman left over.

Choice is at yours; responsibility is at yours. Love with no result is just a gamble with little chances to win and your happiness is the wager.

8 kinds of love with no result summarize 8 foremost preconditions to ensure a successful love journey with apparently more chances.

When love is mutual, balanced, equal, undivided, whole, unconditional with respect, it will pave an enchanting and healthy boulevard for you.

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Parents Dislike Boyfriend

Choice

Lover vs Parents

The related cases we will refer to when we address this topic are under “Lover vs Parents” menu.

“No one can live your life but you”; this is true, however, when your parents dislike your boyfriend, the situation is not so simple but getting tough.

The first question you should ask yourself is: why do my parents dislike my boyfriend, and what’s more, why do they want me to leave my boyfriend? The answer makes things clear: your parents love you and want you to live a happy life in the future, while based on their own experiences and knowledge, they are afraid that you will not be happy living with your boyfriend in the future, especially when your boyfriend had a bad past. In this case, your parents are reasonable. If they don’t care about you, they won’t even be concerned about whom you are with and will hope you get married and leave them soon.

If you are seriously being in love with this boy and you want it to last but you don’t want your parents to be mad, then do something to show them how much you love him, tell them why you love him so much and ask them how they would feel if their parents said they couldn’t have each other.

If you have reasons, your parents will listen and understand you, since they love you. If your parents are not convinced, then it means there’s something wrong and you will probably be aware of what’s wrong. Grecia leos told you, “If I would have listened to them (her parents) at the beginning I wouldnt be here crying.”

On the other hand, I hope that your parents will take time communicating with you instead of simply forbidding you to meet him.

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Friendship vs Love

Choice

Friendship vs Love

The related cases we will refer to when we address this topic are under “Bestfriend vs Lover” menu.

Love has three major steps:
1. Fall in love;
2. Test love;
3. Love lasting or love ends.

If you love someone but you have never expressed your love, even if you suppose that you both love each other, then it’s not yet a love relationship; in this case, if a third person appears, you will be quite passive. This is a typical “Shy Guy” issue we will address later. Therefore, the boy in Best friend vs girlfriend case is in a “passive voice”.

Regardless of the boy’s being shy, let’s assume that the girl and him are in a love relationship when the other boy appears. The followings are the chances:

1. The boy talks to the girl and asks her if she loves him or the other boy. If the girl says that she loves the other boy, then the boy can have two different reactions:

one is relatively narrow-minded, to try all his best to disallow this to happen by all means (begging her, prohibiting their connection etc.) The successful rate is 50% or less. The successful part may be that the feeling between the girl and the other by will be gone due to disconnection, however, it doesn’t mean that the feeling between the girl and this boy will definitely be kept or deeper. The risk is that the girl may be negative against the boy’s “force”. Remember, even if she doesn’t love the other boy anymore, this doesn’t definitely mean that she will still love this boy, while the boy takes the risk in losing a friend at the same time. To be a true winner, one needs to win the other person’s heart.

The other one is more broadminded, to set her free. If she does love the other boy then she’s not yours; if she comes back to you, then she is yours.

Always remember the three love steps. The girl falls in love with the other boy. It’s understandable. The girl and this boy been together since KJ and the new boy’s appearing is of course refreshing. Just watch out their “love steps” and see the result.

Back to “set her free”. Remember to win one’s heart is true art. Be broadminded when she comes back. This simply means that love between the girl and the other boy is failed during the test, and all what this boy needs to work on might be to bring more freshness into the relationship.

2. Don’t forget your friend. Friendship vs love, which one is more important? It depends. If the lover is your true lover, of course she is more important, otherwise, friend is not less important. It happens that friends say goodbye to each other due to a boy or a girl; it happens more often that lovers say goodbye to each other with or without a reason; what is more, it happens too often that friends are forever!

Don’t forget to talk to your friend if you both fall for a girl. Friendship also needs to be tested! Talk to your friend that you love the girl. Tell your friend that you cherish your friendship as well as your love for her. Tell your friend that you welcome fair competition. Tell your friend that regardless of the result you always take him as your friend. In this way, you secure a true friend and if luckier, a true lover; or you secure a true friend, luckily, don’t keep a relationship with a “false” lover; or the “friend” is not your friend if he betrays you or if he refuses your fair competition or if he leaves you when he “loses”. You have nothing worthy to lose; you have everything worthy to gain.

3. It’s important not to introduce your lover to your best friend till the feeling between you and your lover grows strong enough, and before that anything may change it, especially a best friend, in that, you talk a lot about your lover to your best friend and about your best friend to your lover, therefore, they have more chances to know each other better and you actually created the chance for them to be close to each other. I’m pretty sure when a couple’s feeling goes truly strong, it will be firm enough to resist any other temptation.

“Friend or lover” is the other choice between friendship and love. This friend and lover is one person, and he or she can be your friend whom you are being in love with. So to be friend or to be lover, this is a question. To upgrade your friend to lover you take the risk of possibly losing a friend in the future. This person can be your ex-lover. To downgrade a lover to your friend again, can you still be friends?

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Two Women

I know what I have to do, but I don’t like it. First I am one picky S.O.B. when it comes to women. I am too good to waste my time with a girl if she shows no sign of intelligence and talent… I’m careless if they are gorgeous still will I stay away from the pearl. Two women I know and are perfect to me. Both know about each other and know how I feel about them, also know how I feel about the other. I like them both, but I can’t have any of them. Both feel the same about me and know they can’t have me. I am single, but they both are not. Nothing has happened yet with any of us. One is engaged to be married so she is putting her feelings aside; the other wants a relationship but same last name. Both girls are not related to me in any way whatsoever. Same last name marriage is prohibited in my culture. The engaged one wants me to be happy with the other but doesn’t understand the “rules.” The other wants me to be happy, but left it at that. SUCKS!!! I guess I just need relationship advice. I know what I need to do, but I DON’T LIKE IT!

- Fatalism

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