Choice
Friendship vs Love
The related cases we will refer to when we address this topic are under “Bestfriend vs Lover” menu.
Love has three major steps:
1. Fall in love;
2. Test love;
3. Love lasting or love ends.
If you love someone but you have never expressed your love, even if you suppose that you both love each other, then it’s not yet a love relationship; in this case, if a third person appears, you will be quite passive. This is a typical “Shy Guy” issue we will address later. Therefore, the boy in Best friend vs girlfriend case is in a “passive voice”.
Regardless of the boy’s being shy, let’s assume that the girl and him are in a love relationship when the other boy appears. The followings are the chances:
1. The boy talks to the girl and asks her if she loves him or the other boy. If the girl says that she loves the other boy, then the boy can have two different reactions:
one is relatively narrow-minded, to try all his best to disallow this to happen by all means (begging her, prohibiting their connection etc.) The successful rate is 50% or less. The successful part may be that the feeling between the girl and the other boy will be gone due to disconnection, however, it doesn’t mean that the feeling between the girl and this boy will definitely be kept or deeper. The risk is that the girl may be negative against the boy’s “force”. Remember, even if she doesn’t love the other boy anymore, this doesn’t definitely mean that she will still love this boy, while the boy takes the risk in losing a friend at the same time. To be a true winner, one needs to win the other person’s heart.
The other one is more broadminded, to set her free. If she does love the other boy then she’s not yours; if she comes back to you, then she is yours.
Always remember the three love steps. The girl falls in love with the other boy. It’s understandable. The girl and this boy have been together since KJ and the new boy’s appearing is of course refreshing. Just watch out their “love steps” and see the result.
Back to “set her free”. Remember to win one’s heart is true art. Be broadminded when she comes back. This simply means that love between the girl and the other boy is failed during the test, and all what this boy needs to work on might be to bring more freshness into the relationship.
2. Don’t forget your friend. Friendship vs love, which one is more important? It depends. If the lover is your true lover, of course she is more important, otherwise, friend is not less important. It happens that friends say goodbye to each other due to a boy or a girl; it happens more often that lovers say goodbye to each other with or without a reason; what is more, it happens too often that friends are forever!
Don’t forget to talk to your friend if you both fall for a girl. Friendship also needs to be tested! Talk to your friend that you love the girl. Tell your friend that you cherish your friendship as well as your love for her. Tell your friend that you welcome fair competition. Tell your friend that regardless of the result you always take him as your friend. In this way, you secure a true friend and if luckier, a true lover; or you secure a true friend, luckily, don’t keep a relationship with a “false” lover; or the “friend” is not your friend if he betrays you or if he refuses your fair competition or if he leaves you when he “loses”. You have nothing worthy to lose; you have everything worthy to gain.
3. It’s important not to introduce your lover to your best friend till the feeling between you and your lover grows strong enough, and before that anything may change it, especially a best friend, in that, you talk a lot about your lover to your best friend and about your best friend to your lover, therefore, they have more chances to know each other better and you actually created the chance for them to be close to each other. I’m pretty sure when a couple’s feeling goes truly strong, it will be firm enough to resist any other temptation.
“Friend or lover” is the other choice between friendship and love. This friend and lover is one person, and he or she can be your friend whom you are being in love with. So to be friend or to be lovers, this is a question. To upgrade your friend to lover you take the risk of possibly losing a friend in the future. This person can be your ex-lover. To downgrade a lover to your friend again, can you still be friends?
Tagged: Bestfriend vs Lover, Choice, Love Relationship, Relationship Advice
