If you’re a guy and you’ve ever become desperate in the world of dating, then you may have at some point turned to the internet for advice. Like the most powerful agony aunt in the universe, the internet can answer all our problems and turn us into geniuses in almost any subject. If you turned to the internet for this particular subject, then chances are you might have heard the word ‘The Game’ and be wondering what it is and whether it really works. And then you might have wondered whether there really is this secret key to getting any woman to go out with you… and then that might have brought you here.
Good news, you’re in the right place. Here we’re going to look at precisely what the game is, but more importantly whether or not it can really turn you into a lothario.
What is The Game?
There are lots of things that call themselves the game (there’s that game that you play by not thinking about the game for instance – which you just lost by the way), but in this case ‘The Game’ refers to a set of rules and practices outlined on the web and in books for attracting women. Apparently by using The Game your average skinny nerd can pull a beautiful buxom blonde – even if she’s in a relationship – by simply laying down some hocus pocus.
This movement of course garnered a bit of attention and there are loads of rules and terms that you can follow to become better at it – all preached by a bunch of guys who call themselves things like ‘Shadow’. Presumably because the kind of guy who uses The Game also loves Dragon Ball Z…
How Does it Work?
Don’t let that quip mislead you – I’m not about to write this off immediately as ‘for geeks’. Actually if you read the book there are a lot of lessons and ideas there that can genuinely help anyone to become more generally confident and to develop themselves. Any form of self development is important, and so I’m not knocking it.
Generally the concepts preached by The Game (I’m getting tired of writing that in capitals…) revolve around evolutionary theory of human psychology – that women are looking for men who are a good catch and who are going to provide good genetic material and resources for their offspring. Thus your shy weedy guy doesn’t do that well until he learns to send the signals that he is the more confident party and must have some ‘secret’.
He does this in several ways. For one he will subtly knock the confidence of the woman he is interested in with sly comments that show he’s not intimidated (negging). At the same time he might show off his resources and at the same time be bold enough to break social convention (peacocking) thereby showing that he’s well off and highly resourceful. At the same time he will work on his approach and his general aura of confidence to make himself more of a catch – and if you read the book titled The Game (original) then you will be required to go through several challenges such as chatting to strangers in the street, in order to overcome any of your social inhibitions.
And it’s here – in pushing yourself through those social inhibitions that The Game has some merit. Quite a lot in fact. And if you can take home these lessons and apply them to other areas of your life then this can in theory help you to progress your career and your relationships to a worthwhile degree. I’m not saying The Game is great – it is nerdy and it can be amoral – but read the book and look into it because there is certainly some value there.
John Simpsons is an avid blogger who has great knowledge in the field of human psychology, hypnosis and meditation.
Sometimes there is nothing better than to cuddle up and watch a movie at home on date night. Unfortunately choosing a movie that both you and your date will enjoy is often a difficult task. The following list highlights, in no particular order, 7 entertaining romantic comedies that are sure to please both you and your date.
1. Crazy Stupid Love
With a star-studded cast that includes Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, and Ryan Gosling, this romantic comedy is a great choice for date night. The movie tells the tale of a married couple who seem to have the perfect life together. Suddenly, everything changes when the wife tells the husband she wants a divorce. The husband then tries to re-enter the dating scene with the help of a “professional” bachelor. A great story line and lots of laughs make this movie a must-rent for date night.
2. Pretty Woman
This movie, which stars Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, is a classic romantic comedy that everyone loves. It begins when a successful but ruthless businessman heads to Los Angeles on business. He decides to hire a beautiful prostitute to accompany him to many social outings while he is in L.A., and ends up falling for her during the process. Because this film has a silly yet heartwarming story, it is perfect for date night.
3. Friends with Benefits
Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis star in this romantic comedy that focuses on two friends who think they can have a casual sexual relationship and still maintain their friendship. Little do they know, sex brings complications and puts a very large strain on their relationship. Funny and charming, this film is great for date night.
4. Date Night
With a fitting name and hilarious storyline, this romantic comedy is a good choice for date night. It stars Tina Fey and Steve Carell, who play a married couple in search of some spice in their love life. They set out on a romantic date, but it quickly turns into more than they bargained for.
5. When Harry Met Sally
Starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal, this classic romantic comedy tells the story of two people who graduate from college, meet, and then continue on in life. When they begin to repeatedly bump into each other, they start to be very close friends. The result is them trying to remain friends without sex complicating things. With a great story and many laughs, this film is definitely worth renting on date night.
6. There’s Something About Mary
Hilarious and a bit over-the-top at moments, this romantic comedy is a must-see for couples who love to laugh. It stars Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller, who were supposed to go to prom together back in high school. That never happened, and years later Stiller’s character is determined to track down Diaz’s. With a crazy yet fulfilling plot, this film is a great choice for date night.
7. 50 First Dates
If you love Adam Sandler and a good romantic comedy, then you must rent this movie on date night. It tells the tale of a man who believes he has found the one. Little does he know, “the one” suffers from short-term memory loss and does not remember him from one day to the next. If you like a feel-good movie that makes you laugh, pick this one up tonight.
These are all great romantic comedies that are perfect to rent on date night. Once you watch them with your date, you will be glad you took the time to check out this list.
We’ve all been there and are still doing that – dating. With dating comes trials and tribulations, emotional rollercoasters, giddy talks with our girlfriends until the wee hours in the morning and sometimes, when we least expect it, a diamond ring from your true love. Here are a few simple tips to lure in the man you want without going too far. Simplicity is key!
Dress For Dating Success
With body type set aside, nobody wants to go on a first, second, third or millionth date with a woman who looks sloppy, unprofessional and oozes cheap. Fashionable styles to fit all body types, especially women looking for now have unlimited options like never before. You can put together outfits online or venture to the local mall to get ideas on what best suits you. Select a professional and sexy style within your budget. For example, pair a pencil skirt with a playful see-through (silk or satin) blouse, heels and a simple handbag. This way you’re leaving plenty to his imagination while remaining classy.
Again, regardless of your body type – you can play around with various styles you have in your closet by mixing and matching items. I enjoy using the site Polyvore for ideas.
All too often, women try just a little too hard, especially for a man she’s pursuing. For example, showing signs of jealousy or envy, overly flirty at any given moment and acting too clingy or desperate. STOP! Stop continuing these actions – you won’t succeed luring the one you desire and end up driving him away waving goodbye in the distance. BE YOURSELF! Reflect for a moment and think about how you act. Just like you want respect – treat him just as well.
Flirting is one of the top highlights when it comes to dating! Whip up a good story or offer a loving compliment to whisper softly in his ear during drinks or dinner. You don’t have to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed – start with something simple like, “you look absolutely stunning in that jacket tonight” or whisper a quality about him that you really like.
Have Your Own Life
Men LOVE a woman who is independent, has her own schedule and occasionally turns down a dinner offer because of tickets to a show. Make sure you’re staying true to your schedule and feelings. Keep him interested, keep him curious and keep him on his toes. How? Simply sending thoughtful texts or even a phone call might be a good start. You could also surprise him every once in a while. For example, say you’re going to see a ball game (even if you don’t really enjoy ballgames but he does) with your girlfriends. Later, text him informing him to meet you at a bar nearby and grab a drink before you “leave for the game”. Make plans with him far enough in advance so he knows you’re going to meet! For guys who enjoy sports, this will melt his heart.
If you love your body, so will he! Keep in mind with the right attitude and self-respect, you’ll have no problems setting boundaries between your life and his until you’re both mutually ready to move forward in a serious manner. Until then, take each day slow and make every moment memorable through little romantic gestures. Never give up your independence and stay grounded! Enjoy!
If you are having trouble meeting girls and getting dates, perhaps it is time to look at what you are wearing. Guys who dress in a flattering and fashionable way are much more likely to get female attention than guys who don’t put effort into their appearance.
“Why does it matter how I dress?” you might be asking, “if I meet the right girl, won’t she love me for who I am, no matter what I am wearing?”
Yes, it is true that when you meet your special someone she will love who you are even in your stained sweatpants and old t-shirts. However, just because your future girlfriend will love you even when you look like a slob it doesn’t mean that she will pick you out of a crowd when you turn up at the bar dressed that way. First impressions are important and she will likely look past you if you look boring and scruffy. Feel free to break out the sweatpants when you are a couple, but when you are first catching her eye you need something more impressive.
You will increase your chances of meeting a high quality girl if you put a little bit more effort in the way that you dress. You don’t have to wear a suit every day; you just have to show that you care a little bit about the way you look. Here are some of the reasons why it works:
It Shows That You Can Take Care of Yourself
One of the biggest turn offs for a girl is a guy of whom she has to take care all the time; it makes her feel like she is your mom. If she looks at you and sees that you are wearing a wrinkly shirt, dirty trousers and mismatched socks, she can tell that you don’t do your laundry or ironing and is afraid that if she is in a relationship with you she will end up doing it for you.
Your clothes give people a visual perception of who you are, so be sure to show potential girlfriends that you are at least capable of staying clean, pressed and well dressed.
You Can Pretend You Are Better Looking Than You Are
Another great advantage of dressing well and keeping yourself well groomed is that it will make you look more attractive than you really are. If you are slightly chubby, the right cut of jacket and trousers can hide your belly and make you look slimmer. If you are too skinny looking, layering the right articles of clothing can add some much needed bulk to your frame. Choosing clothes in the right colours can highlight your skin tone and bring out the colour of your eyes. With the right clothing an average looking guy can attract more attention than a really good looking guy who is dressed like a slob.
She Will Know that She Can Take You Anywhere
When you are dressed well, you demonstrate that you are able to put together an outfit for any situation that you are in, whether it is hanging out at the pub, going to the cinema or going out for dinner. This will let her know that no matter where she wants to go with you when you are dating, you will be able to fit in and not look out of place. If she wanted to bring you to meet her parents or as a date to her cousin’s wedding, she needed to know that you would be able to look respectable and not like just rolled out of bed.
These are just a few of the reasons why dressing well can really impress a girl and get you dates, so why not improve your fashion sense and see what it does to your love life?
If you are just simply dreaming from afar about the man of your dreams, it’s time to snap out from your reverie and make some action. Here are four proven ways you can make a man want you. It’s not simply donning your best padded bra ( although that helps ) under your clothes but check out the best ways you can make him truly yours.
1. Don’t Treat Him Like Your Girlfriends. There are things which you might appropriately share with your girlfriends but not with the guy you wish to attract with. It’s a no-no to talk about the man on the other table while the two of you are dining out. The same is true with tagging him along on shopping for shoes or padded bra. It is not good to see him carrying all your shopping bags. Talk about appropriate topics during dates which means you would not normally dish about clothes and the latest trend in fashion.
2. Be Generous with Compliments. When you show that you are thankful even for the little things, that will make a difference. Showing your appreciation will mean a lot. Men sometime need a boost on their ego. Letting him feel important will somehow do that.
3. Show that You Are Interested with What He is Doing. Showing interests in what he loves to do another plus. Of course, don’t overdo it. Men can sense if you are just pretending. Don’t say something negative about his hobby or what he does best.
4. Show Grace and Class in Your Actions. Men will be smitten with women who embody grace and show class in their actions. They will always appreciate women who still have that air of mystery. Being loud and flirty will not at all please men but will somehow give another impression.
The four effective tips on attracting the guy you like will go a very long way if you start applying them now. Attracting the guy that you truly believe embodies the qualities of a great partner in life will become easier. No more clueless days where men is concerned and you know what to do when you are in a situation with him. Goodbye to awkward moments and hello to the new and confident you. Get to wear your best clothes and be confident inside out.
Several tips will still help you in your quest to attract the best man in life. When you apply them, you have more control and you will be able to calm yourself when the guy you like is just around the corner.
Some simple but useful advice about the world of dating today
Embarking on your first date with someone you’re keen on is rarely a relaxing experience. Thinking about one thousand and one things on the night the “datees” rarely come across as themselves and telling them to “relax” often ends up with at best a scathing look and at worst a few choice words. Dating is such an abundant scene…because of this it’s also complicated. When deciding on location, attire, conversation and tactics there are most certainly safer and more favourable options to help take the “cringe” aspect out of those first few hours.
Use the internet
Whether you love or hate cyber-space, it’s here to stay. There are a lot of well publicized dangers with using the internet to meet people so be careful, be wary and stay safe when looking for love online. Use a reputable community and be sure to check out how they ensure the safety of their members prior to joining. Chat online to a person before meeting them as this can be a great way to ease some of that pre-date tension. Despite its dangers the internet can be a great way to meet people; with modern life delivering more hectic schedules and by living in a smaller and more accessible world, our options when using the usual channels can seem be surprisingly limited nowadays. Broaden your chances and get an online profile.
Speaking from the heart (and from experience), honesty invariably is always the best policy. Most of us have a past, all of us have flaws and none of us is perfect but honesty is one of those positive qualities that should be exercised from the outset. A little white lie to make us seem different or more appealing to the other person in the beginning can often turn in to an enormous lie and lay a shaky foundation for a relationship.
Be honest with yourself about the type of person you want to date too – we live in an increasingly tolerant society. Whether you’re a cougar looking for a younger date or don’t want to date across cultures, don’t try to fit the mould of something you’re not.
They’re an ex for a reason…leave them that way
Going out on a date for the purposes of a rebound is unlikely to end well. Similarly, being on a date and talking about how wonderful your ex was, is not likely to end well either. Find out about the person you’re choosing to spend your evening with on the date. They have nothing to do with your past and are probably much more interested in your present and future so leave the past in its place for the night.
First impressions count – but don’t always count first impressions
As much as you’ll be nervous and may say or do something completely out of character, so might your date. Don’t call things off at the slightest error and give the person a fair chance – if the situation was reversed. You’d like the same first impression leniency, and you might even find it endearing!
A few years ago, my only tip for asking a woman out on Facebook would be this: don’t. Arranging a date over the web? So tacky, and even if you were meeting on a dating site I would recommend waiting until you had a phone number and then calling to arrange a get together. But, as I said, that was a few years ago, and the rules have shifted.
Social networking has largely changed the way we communicate. No longer is it strange to go to Facebook to speak to someone before picking up the phone. Even using phones is less common now than text messaging. A little crazy? For an old fashioned kind of person like me, a bit. But etiquette has evolved with technology.
Keeping this in mind, I no longer think it is a misstep to turn to Facebook as a dating tool. I do believe, however, that there is a good and a bad way at approaching it. Hopefully, these tips will keep you in the ‘good’ and so more successful line of things.
Tip #1 – Facebook Is Not A Dating Site
I know what I just said about it being an acceptable way of asking someone out. I stand by that statement. However, I don’t want you to think that means Facebook is a dating site, because it isn’t. A tool, yes. A place where people specifically set out to meet potential mates, no.
This is an important distinction, because it will help to regulate your behavior. For example, say you see a random photo of a woman and think, “Man, I could tap that”. So you go for the add friend button. Seems logical enough right?
The problem is that I guarantee she will have gotten this from a number of sleazy guys who have been bothering her in the past. Either she will reject your request, or accept it and be on guard when you speak to her. Primarily because she is not on there to date; she is on there to use the site for what it was intended for: sharing things with people she actually knows, and probably playing Mafia Wars.
Which leads us to tip number two…
Tip #2 – Make Sure You Know Her, First
Adding a random chick you don’t know is creepy behavior. Adding someone you have met before, knew in the past or even just has mutual friends is not. This gives you a direct line of contact, giving her a reason to trust you. Sending her a friend request when there is at least a mutual contact will keep her from immediately thinking you are some creeper looking to drool over her holiday photos.
Not only does this give you a foundation, but you will be able to message her for a chat. This is important, as you want to have a conversation first, right? Just asking her out would be the equivalent of jumping out from the bushes with a bouquet of flowers and requesting her to join you in your murder van. Not smooth.
Tip #3 – Breaking The Ice and Casual Plans
Facebook makes breaking the ice with someone so simple. Start by paying attention to a few of their status messages and photos (don’t overdo it!), and leaving comments and likes. From there, take a look at their interests and find things you have in common. Maybe it is a band, movie or book. Bam! Immediate ice breaker for a private message.
Once you have been chatting awhile, you will see if you guys hit it off. Believe it or not, this acts as a kind of pre-date. You might find that you don’t like her as much once you have spent some time conversing.
But if you do, you can bring up an event or maybe getting together. If there is a spark, she will feel it too, so asking her out on something casual won’t be remiss. Or, you can see what mutual events you will be attending and see about going together.
That is all it takes, just three tips and you can use Facebook to ask a girl out on a date. Maybe they will work; maybe they won’t. But if they don’t, it is probably because there was just no interest on her part, and it is best to move on.
If you’re single, getting asked out on a date is usually a welcome occurrence. When a guy asks you out, it makes you feel desirable and attractive. It’s a form of flattery. Hopefully the guy asking you out is someone you want to get to know. If he’s not, you’re going to have to turn him down. It’s never fun to reject someone – if you think it is, then a nice word to describe you might be “witch.” When you’re caught off guard with a date offer from someone you’re just not interested in, both parties can find themselves in a pretty awkward situation. Before it happens to you again, here are some tips that will help you be prepared to turn him down in a nice and easy way.
Keep Your Composure
Unexpected date offers can cause you to have a variety of sudden reactions. You might be tempted to laugh, scowl, or turn and run. You might find yourself stuttering and stammering to come up with a response. As hard as it is, do your best to keep your composure. Your gut reaction will be written all over your face if you don’t remain cool and calm. Take a breath before you respond. Your immediate response might not be the nicest one, so stop and think.
Be Polite and Concise
You want to be polite when turning down an unwanted date request, and it’s not hard to do when you take an extra second to consider your response. No matter what the situation is, simply say, “No, thank you,” in the nicest way possible. That three-word reply should be enough. There is usually no need to explain why you’re not interested. You should never insult his personality, looks, or anything else. It took a lot of nerve to ask you out, so don’t hurt his pride any more.
If Explanation is Warranted…
Sometimes you might want to qualify your “no, thank you” with a little more information, but be careful when doing this. You are never required to give an explanation. But if the reason you are turning him down has nothing to do with him, especially if you might have said yes under other circumstances, you could let him know (that you have a boyfriend, are moving across the country next week, are gay, etc.).
Don’t Give False Hope
One of the worst things you can tell a guy after you’ve turned him down is that you’d like to be just friends. This tends to bruise a guy’s ego even more, so leave any talk of friendship out of this immediate conversation. And under no circumstances should you ever accept a date request if you don’t really want to go out with him. This will lead him on, and he’ll inevitably be hurt anyway when you cancel. And if you’re not romantically interested, you shouldn’t go on a romantic date, period. It’s best to politely say no from the beginning. Every guy should be able to handle rejection when it’s given politely.
Nikki White is a clubber and freelance writer who is quite an experienced dater. She often writes and blogs about relationships and how to go out and enjoy some Vegas nightlife.
Photo Credit: Annie Wu.
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