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Paranoid Partner

In “Break up” we discussed about the Breakup Cost of Love and the Love Saving Account you need to accumulate to ensure you are rich enough to date and possibly lose love someday with less hurt. In “Love with no Result” we summarized 8 foremost preconditions to ensure a successful love journey with apparently more chances. In “Narcissist” we discussed about a personality disorder to help you spot it at the early stage of your dating and make an informed decision.

Today we will move on to another personality disorder; it’s called “Paranoia”. The most explicit sign of a person with paranoia is that he is overly or constantly suspicious. A paranoid person grasps any single piece of evidence that supports his mistrust and ignores or misinterprets any other evidence to the contrary in order to confirm his doubts, and he continually does so. A person suffering from paranoia continues to question the loyalty of others.

So how will a paranoid partner possibly hurt you if he is just on his guard to protect himself? When you start to date with him and when his love for you goes intense, you will get the answer. In a love relationship, this suspicion usually exhibits unreasonable jealousy.

Jealousy on small doses is cute and essential on a relationship. It is a sign that your partner is being in love with you. It sparks passion and romance, and can enhance a couple’s devotion to each other.

However, when it’s too much and out of control it will eventually destroy the relationship between you and your partner, because it eats away at the one thing that holds you together: Trust. Overdose jealousy leads to numerous fights that totally expose your negative qualities.

For a person with paranoia, jealousy is a byproduct of his own issues with low self-confidence and low self-esteem. To protect himself, he sees other people’s intentions as negative, rather than finding any fault in himself.

Therefore, it’s important for you to find a confident person who “matches” you to date. Please do not humor your paranoid partner who tortures you in the name of “love”. The more you humor him, the crazier he will become, the deeper you will be trapped in, the more breakup cost of love you will face in the future.

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Paranoid Partner

Better Couple

10 steps to enjoying each other better…
1. Be realistic about each other. Don’t try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let’s face it, guys-there’s only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u’re gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.
2. Always talk things out. Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don’t make assumptions about each other’s feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner understands what u’re angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it’s the beginning of the end.
3. Do stuff together. Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or just strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccer with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for “that sort of activities” instead. If u’re spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it’s a warning sign that u’re drifting apart!!!
4. Meet each other halfway. If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the “The_Rock” print, u shouldn’t kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There’s gotta be a little giving and taking in a love relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.
5.Show ur love. Buy her flowers or candy or perfume every now and then, even if u have been together for 5 years. It’s wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine’s Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can’t wear ( like for decoration purposes ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him…so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.
6. Respect each other. Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other’s feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.
7. Bury the past. Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don’t bring up the happy things about u and ur ex lover to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don’t talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b’cos u are gonna get back to your ex or not interested in her anymore.
8. Sit on ur jealousy. All of us go thru’ spells of insecurity at the beginning of the love relationship, but don’t translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u’re gonna go through ur partner’s mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong – with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru’ the love relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.
9. Keep ur commitments to each other. If ur partner is standing u up all the time and canceling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u’re in a love relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don’t disappoint him / her if u can help it. It’s really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don’t make promises u can’t keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.
10. Be honest. Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly ! When we say “be honest”, we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u’re hurt, say so, and when u’re angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can’t be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? æ Love is also about honesty, and a love relationship where no honesty exists probably isn’t worth it!

- Unknown

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Better Couple