Tag Archives: Marriage Advice

Mar. 24.

Married but


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Dear friends,

I am married for last 11 yrs, it was a love marriage, but now we don’t have any love in between us. In starting he used to love me a lot, but now he keeps up complaining for one or the other thing. I have a baby girl of 7 yrs, but now I am not able to coup up with him.

After marriage we have started a business, day by day he started behaving like a boss. After completing 10 yrs to our business, I fed up with his behaviour. He used to insult every time. So I left office and started doing job. I got a good job.

Now he left house, saying he doesn’t want to stay with me. He keeps up doubting on me. Now we are staying separate. Mean while I get engaged with one of my best friend. He was really very supporting to me always. But he is married too. We really care and concern about each other. He is also not having good married life. He is ready to give divorce to his wife.

What should I do? Should I give divorce to my husband? Or should I go to him again in my old role. He just wants me to play on his fingers. I am really very confused and not getting any way out of this. Pls help me to get out of this confusion.

- Deepu

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Mar. 02.

He’s a dater


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I got married at a very young age as 22 because family urge. But, the guy I got married is someone I knew and was befriended for some time. I chose him because of the love he had for me as well his concern on me. The marriage was good until the early of 2 months. And, there goes the first step of storm between us.

He started to show me the off mood for intimacy. I did confront him, but he said, maybe ‘coz he is too tired or he is lack of vitamins since he use to be semi vegetarian since born. I accepted his excuse and remained calm n relaxed when my urge to have sex is high. But after another couple of months, I caught him having photos of girls naked, with undergarments in his hp. I was like damn upset of course but I kept quiet.

Silently, I understood, maybe that is what he is looking for. And, what I did was, I started to buy sexy lingerie and dress up really sexy just for him at home. But, he doesn’t seem to be surprised at all but still was like off mood when comes to intimacy. For ur info, im 50kg/169cm… im not fat nor ugly. I was in a total dilemma after that. I had questions like “what’s wrong with me?” am I lacking of anything and etc. Finally, I did took the initiative to speak out to him abt our sex life because, as days went to months, I started to feel very tensed, easily get irritated with him.

But, he told me was Everything is fine with me, he is happy with me and im perfectly okay for him. But, when I asked back, then why he doesn’t have the mood on me? He gave the same earlier answer (tired, lack of vitamins) I was too annoyed with that answer over again and I started to let me anger/irritation on him day by day. Then, whatever he say or do seemed to be wrong for me. I can’t convince myself about him because he didn’t keep me happy, im still so young yet energetic for him anytime! Until, his birthday morning things went real bad about him.

Just after my prayer, I wanted to wake him up since his cousins were down to celebrate his birthday at home in the evening. As I went in, I saw him masturbating on the bed while flipping through the pictures in his hp! I couldn’t hold my tears and let it to roll down my cheeks. I was stunned in front of him, speechless. He tried convincing me saying, he was looking at my pictures. But!! God! I know what’s in his phone. I left in silence since his cousins were around n I don’t to spoil his birthday.

I didn’t talk abt that issue after that. Perhaps, he didn’t take any efforts to clear that issue within me. That’s my expectation anyways. I want him to talk to me, explain to me things and admit his mistakes! But he never did that ever. My anger grew wild and I get real mad all the time with him. Everything seemed to be wrong between us almost 2 years! Sometimes, we do make love over the night when he tried to be sweet n romantic, I forget probs between us ‘coz I need his touch too. Again, once when he was taking shower, I grabbed his hp and checked his images.

This time, I found my close friend’s photos giving her sexy pose with clothes as well his ex photo! I really lost my temper and fought him to the maximum. I couldn’t take the fuss he did to me. We had a cat and dogs fight. He defends himself with lies! He lied to cover up another lie and he treated me like a dumb as if im not literate. Then, I couldn’t let him touch me anymore..

And about the end of 2010, we used to have mega fights and problems! He was keep telling me tonnes of lies and I lost my trust on him completely. I totally disrespect him after that. Early of January 2011, we had one last big fight and I left him. He started to spoil my name to my own few friends and told the clockwise to his family.

I totally was very upset, angry and disappointed with him after that. But, quite recently, he asked me one chance to repair everything by being a BOYFRIEND! Haha! Yes! He wants to be a bf to me now. But, I did accept what he wanted and gave him a chance since he wants things to be fine between because we had the plan to have baby this year, our 3rd year of marriage.

But, what happens here, he visits me a few times a week, call me out for date, and the best part he wants to stay over once in a while with me to show his love to me it seems. I couldn’t accept him in that way. I have got the feel he is totally a freak because, he doesn’t have the courtesy to call me back but treating me like this. I am all alone here! And he told me, he prefers to repair the relationship under 2 different roofs! I am even more pissed off with him now. I need a life together with him as a husband/wife and a family…But he is talking the otherwise.

And, this is all the issues happened in between us for almost 2 and half year together. Now, I have a big question! Do I need to entertain this kind of man in my life? Or, should I just accept his style of ‘dating’ life. I need a baby, he knows very well, but he asked me to put it on hold! I am very stressed with him. I am not happy either! Please give me a solution.

- sadgirl

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Jan. 05.

Married life


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I have been married for 15 years. I am a scientist/patent agent and she an intensive care physician. I work in-house at a pharmaceutical company that recently went through a merger and substantial lay-offs. Things are still unsettled. I fortunately survived. My wife recently became medical director of the ICU. In short, our professional lives have recently been extremely stressful. We have two wonderful boys 9 and 10 we love very much.

Our marriage was not arranged, but our meeting was by our parents (yes, if you haven’t figured it out, we are Indians). We had a two-year long distance dating relationship (me in NY, her in Ottawa). Met almost every weekend or whenever we could, and talked for hours on the phone every single day between meetings. We got married and then lived apart for another two years as I finished up in NY and she finished up in Ottawa. We eventually settled in Toronto where both of our families are.

I am a romantic and emotionally sensitive, definitely not the macho man. Would love to whisk her away on a long weekend to Paris, Rome etc. Would love to walk along the Seine hand in hand in spring. Love to cuddle and be cuddled, hold hands, lie on her lap while watching TV, have her run her fingers through my hair, be kissed and hugged. In short I am very affectionate. I need to be touched. I need to be loved. She was quite affectionate in our early years together. Not so much after the kids, but I could still get hugs, kisses and almost everything mentioned above, just not as often. That was fine. I perfectly understand that partners change over time. Relationships change over time.

I am the cook in the house, I do the grocery shopping, take the trash out, pick up and drop off the kids at school every single day of the school year. I do most of the homework with the kids, science projects etc. I take the kids to their extracurricular activities (swimming, soccer, birthday parties etc.), manage the finances, meet with our financial advisor, take both cars in for servicing, take the kids to their orthodontist and pediatrician. I do the ironing. She takes the kids to the dentist, does the laundry and takes the kids shopping for clothes. Her schedule is such that she says she can’t do all of the other things. She is out by 6.30 am and does not return till about 7pm. I have somewhat of a 9-5 job. I don’t complain, but it is sometimes overwhelming.

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