Tag Archives: Narcissist | Relationship Advice

Apr. 26.

Admiration


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Narcissists are not only successful in their way; they also need to constantly convince others that they are the best, the smartest, the most talented, and they are never tired of doing so. If it means they must devalue others, then they devalue. It’s something they cannot live without. It’s also something others can’t really stand within. Not to say you are better than or as good as them is not enough, you must tell them they are the best; to tell them they are the best is not enough, they must reinforce they are the much best by teasing you you are not. The way how a narcissist constantly firm his position of being the best can reach a certain extent to cover the tiniest matter. One of my ex-boyfriends used to compare his mother with mine, his sister with my brother, until the brand of his speaker with mine, and even if it’s apparent that the two brands are equally famous or actually mine is more famous (I don’t really care about this point) It’s their helpless self-esteem. My bottom line is not to be hurt; above this line, if you have to cheat to gain success, if you have to say how good you are to firm your position, it’s OK, I can smile and think about something else; however, below this line, it’s not necessary for me to endure. I will leave you. That’s what a narcissist is truly afraid. To be abandoned is the most severe denial of his self-esteem in terms of the excessive admiration he is seeking for. He will do whatever to make up. If it means to be violent, then be violent; if it means to threaten, then threaten. What’s your reaction? Be afraid and go back to him? Then you repeat your mistake. When he gets you back, everything will be the same and he must continue his reinforcement at all aspects. Do narcissists fall in love? No, narcissists do not fall in love; narcissists fall in admiration. They don’t care about what you think, as long as you are there, they feel comfortable you still follow them. I feel lucky I finally left that ex-boyfriend. He kept writing to me for a whole year after that and I never read those letters. To hurt his self-esteem is not my interest; to live a life without him is what I want. He may be successful. It has nothing to do with me. I just feel sorry for his present spouse. I can’t help her while knowing what kind of life she is living. So what kind of wife does a narcissistic husband want?

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Apr. 23.

Narcissist Money


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Successful

Not every good sign like this is narcissist but most narcissists are good in this same way. It helps you notice you may encounter one before you are attracted to and fall in love.
They are successful. Even if they are too young to be really successful in some way, still, they are more successful than others in same age. Be aware, some real life-long misery starts from blind happiness.
There are many kinds of success. Famous writers, artists, scientists, they are all successful people. The novel, the painting and the invention brought by them are the final production and this may bring them fame. They are happy doing what they like regardless of success and they may feel happier if their creation is recognized.
Narcissists are not into these. They are more into money, however, money is not really their final goal. Their aim is people, world, the fame of being admired by people and then the power to “run” the world. They don’t contribute a novel, a painting, an invention; for them, these are tiny. In their heart, they may be jealous of those writers, artists, scientists, nevertheless, surfacely, narcissists try to firm their success by constantly emphasizing that the true success is money, power. They are good at speech convincing people; that’s what their charm lies and a charm blinds your eyes. For them, if convincing means to lie, then lie. Others’ admiration is what makes them comfortable but not the honesty for some other kinds of people. Some people can’t lie simply because to lie makes them feel uncomfortable in their heart. Nonetheless, for narcissists, the final goal is the most important. What do they truly bring you? Any creation, invention that benefits society? People who admire narcissistic leaders will do these detail jobs for them. Do we need narcissistic leaders? Yes, we do, in some occasions (not all), especially in chaos, however, do we need a narcissistic husband or narcissistic wife? Only if you are a narcissist too or if you like to be tortured.

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