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Posts Tagged ‘Paranoia’

Trust Love

I’ve been with a man for about two years. It seems no matter what I do, I can’t get him to realize that I love him. Sometimes, I don’t even know why we’re still together. I ask him, “Why don’t you think I love you?” and he says, “Oh, it’s just a gut feeling.” Every day, I try to convince him that I love him, but instead of taking notice of what I do, he simply focuses on what I do NOT do (I have a declining sex drive due to a lot of stress). Even with my declined sex drive, I cuddle with him, kiss him, build him up, do things with him, and tell him REPEATEDLY that I love him. But it never gets through. Frankly, I’m losing patience. Why should I keep telling him if he’ll never believe me? What should I do?

- Brian

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Trust Love

Paranoid Partner

In “Break up” we discussed about the Breakup Cost of Love and the Love Saving Account you need to accumulate to ensure you are rich enough to date and possibly lose love someday with less hurt. In “Love with no Result” we summarized 8 foremost preconditions to ensure a successful love journey with apparently more chances. In “Narcissist” we discussed about a personality disorder to help you spot it at the early stage of your dating and make an informed decision.

Today we will move on to another personality disorder; it’s called “Paranoia”. The most explicit sign of a person with paranoia is that he is overly or constantly suspicious. A paranoid person grasps any single piece of evidence that supports his mistrust and ignores or misinterprets any other evidence to the contrary in order to confirm his doubts, and he continually does so. A person suffering from paranoia continues to question the loyalty of others.

So how will a paranoid partner possibly hurt you if he is just on his guard to protect himself? When you start to date with him and when his love for you goes intense, you will get the answer. In a love relationship, this suspicion usually exhibits unreasonable jealousy.

Jealousy on small doses is cute and essential on a relationship. It is a sign that your partner is being in love with you. It sparks passion and romance, and can enhance a couple’s devotion to each other.

However, when it’s too much and out of control it will eventually destroy the relationship between you and your partner, because it eats away at the one thing that holds you together: Trust. Overdose jealousy leads to numerous fights that totally expose your negative qualities.

For a person with paranoia, jealousy is a byproduct of his own issues with low self-confidence and low self-esteem. To protect himself, he sees other people’s intentions as negative, rather than finding any fault in himself.

Therefore, it’s important for you to find a confident person who “matches” you to date. Please do not humor your paranoid partner who tortures you in the name of “love”. The more you humor him, the crazier he will become, the deeper you will be trapped in, the more breakup cost of love you will face in the future.

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Paranoid Partner

Trouble trusting boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year 8 months now. I’m still having trouble trusting him. He’s gave me a million reasons for me to trust him. Even his friends told me he is the most faithful person they know. In my past relationships I’ve been cheated on many of times. When he goes out, I always ask him questions like “were there girls there? did they touch you? did u flirt with them?” It’s tearing us apart. We both want to be together for the rest of our lives. We recently had a conversation about this whole trust issue and we almost broke up over it. He told me that if we have to have this conversation again its over. Please help, our relationship is a stake because of me. I want to be able to trust him, I just have a mental block in my head. I suppose I’m doing this to protect myself from getting hurt again. That’s probably why I ask all those questions.

Thank you,
Kalena Lawson

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Trouble trusting boyfriend

Distrust

Here’s a my situation. My girlfriend of 8 months constantly asks and questions every move I make. She even checks my cell phone when Im out of the room. This has gone on 46 out of the 8 months we have been together. I take her on trips. I moved her in with me and pay all the bills. It’s who I am to be the provider. On top of all that I’m not a cheater! We stay @ home the majority of the time and really never go out with friends although I would like to more. Recently I went out with sum friends and begged her to come. She just didn’t want to go. I finally said I gotta get out and see some friends. 20 minutes later I’m getting phone calls from my girlfriend threatening our relationship and out looking 4 me. She shows up in the parking lot and is checking up on me. What do I do? Here I could write a book with other episodes. I think I am a little mad that I am in this situation but I really do care 4 this woman. I want to fix it but is it a lost cause 4 me to play doc?

- Unknown

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Distrust