Tag Archives: Relationship

Jan. 05.

Other Men


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Firstly a little back ground on my GF. She used to be a player and have flirted with other men. Now she has pledged her faithfulness to me but still has many male friends. She talks about sex very casually to them and she seems to share many things with them. She claims that she mixes well with men and enjoys when those men says sweet things to her to please her. She says in this era this is so common and that that is not being unfaithful and it is normal.

When we started the relationship, I made a request that she discontinue from contacting her ex-lovers and she agreed as due to her past, I don’t feel very comfortable with it.. When I asked her if she had deleted contacts of these other mens, she said yes. I later found out that she still had these contacts on her facebook. When I questioned her, she said it was just to look at their pics. Recently I found out that she still sent Emails to her ex-lovers although contents I am not sure of and I would assume she still talks to them.

I tried many times to explain to her how I felt but still it did not work. Everytime she does these things I will feel very sad.

Is there a problem with me? Is there hope in this relationship?

Kind Regards
- Kure

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Jan. 30.

Take it slow


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I am 20 years old and last year i had my first broke up with my first love. We were together for 3 years but we ended it because it just wasn’t working anymore. Since the break up we have become happier better people and actually get along like we used to and are much closer than we were before. The thing is, when we broke up we kept seeing eachother which only made it harder as we fell into the patterns of being a “couple” again. This wasnt very good because he was spending time kissing and cuddling me but going out and being with other girls. I ended that because I was only getting hurt in the process and holding on to someone that obvious didnt want just me anymore. After 3 months of both of us being single we are sort of together again. we have decided to take things slow and he says he wants to be good to me. So far he has, he has been wonderful and faithful and our love relationship is better than ever. My only question is will we get back together officially? will he make commitment to being with just me? because right now im not his gf and hes not my boyfriend but i want him to be. for the past 2 months we’ve been spending all our free time together whether its day or night, we have a sexual relationship, he brings me flowers when im sick, everything is great but we arent officially together and it really bothers me. I’ve brought it up with him and hes says he loves how we are now and that taking it slow has been good for us but to me Im just scared im going to get hurt again. I kind of feel like hes keeping his options open, why else do u not make commitment when everything just works? Im confused, I feel that he wants only me but at the same time he doesnt want to make commitment. We’ve been ‘taking it slow’ for 2 months now, am I moving too fast by wanting to get back together?

- Ash

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Nov. 10.

Distance of Beauty


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If the answer of the question “why marriage is love’s tomb” is the vanishing of the feeling to respect love, then how are we going to avoid it?

If a romantic love is high quality, then it will surely turn to a long lasting bond of the couple and the main quality of the feeling is the mutual understanding, mutual trust and the privity of their way of thinking. The couple will have a sense of security and that of sharing the happiness and sadness together. They will feel that they are tied to each other and will never part in their life and that they will face all difficulties together. They will deeply miss each other whenever one is away from the other one.

How are we going to protect this great love? The answer is to keep a right distance, intimate while distant. After marriage, two persons are still individual persons, and need to be respected as individual persons, respecting his personality, his freedom; two persons are still two separate individuals and are not able to become one. Unfortunately, people often get it wrong and take for granted that the couple will be one and that both should keep pace with each other and then the conflicts are never ending.

In fact, family is supposed to become an intimate space for an individual to freely grow and provide the room for love to continue growing. The love living in such a mutually respectful and trustful ambiance will then not be distorted.

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