The Ultimate Fool-Proof Method to Pick Up Girls in Bars

Some people are born naturals when it comes to picking up ladies – they are smooth, they are confident, and they know how to use just the right amounts of charm to let a woman know that they’re interested without scaring them off. However for the rest of us it isn’t quite so easy – and many of us find that talking to members of the opposite sex can be awkward, embarrassing and ultimately disastrous if we say the wrong thing, choke or are too cautious to make a move.

Fortunately though if you aren’t gifted in picking up women naturally it is still something you can learn and there are various different techniques that can be employed which will help anyone – even someone who’s shy and awkward – to find a date in a bar or club. Here we will look at some ways you can turn yourself into a Lothario using smart strategies.

Eye Contact

The first thing that makes life difficult for most shy-guys trying to pick up women in a bar is the act of having to go up to one to talk to them – which means leaving their friends and potentially being rejected/coming across sleazy.

This is also an inefficient way to chat up women when you consider how many you’d have to approach to find the right one and how long this can take out of your night. Much smarter then is to suss out the situation before hand by using eye contact to establish interest. You can be relaxing at the bar, or just talking to friends, but the general idea is to look around the room and try catching the eye of women as they’re chatting or dancing. When you do, try flashing them a smile that lets them know you’re interested and then gauge the reaction. If they look repulsed then nothing is lost and you can simply turn to the next woman with no embarrassment necessary, but if they are interested you should find they either smile back (an open invitation to approach) or even come over to you.


If they’ve given you the nod to show they’re interested then that’s when you should go over to chat – either alone or in a group. There are many chat up lines and moves that you read about online to attempt here, but if you aren’t natural at it you’ll just come off as awkward. The best chat up line then for most people is a simple ‘hi’ followed maybe by ‘having a good night?’. That gets you chatting and is honest, open and straightforward.

One strategy here that is useful though is to start off chatting to the entire group. This works well because it plays them off against one another and gets them competing for your attentions (while subtly knocking the confidence of the one you made eye contact with). Furthermore it makes you look much less sleazy and much more like a nice, fun guy who just wants to chat.

Making Your Move

You can’t do this all night though or you’ll just have had a night of chatting to a group of people and go home their best mate. Once you’ve established yourself as a chatty and fun guy then, offer to buy the girl you’re interested in a drink and place your hand on the small of her back when you offer. This will re-establish that it’s her you’re interested in, and it gives you a chance to be alone with her while you wait for her drink. Now chat to her while you get the drink and see if you can hold her attention without going back to the group. If all seems to be going well then suggest moving to the dance floor and that’s when you can make your move proper – by dancing gradually close until you’re hugging and then making the easy and logical next move to kiss. Win.

Alex Thomas is a known social personality who loves partying and clubbing.

He’s Crazy about me but Acts Like He’s Not

I have just started dating a very shy boy who according to what his best friend told a friend of mine is “crazy about me, he just doesn’t know how to express it”. He makes me so angry at times because we usually text all day, and sometimes he will just stop and not answer for hours or send very short responses like “oh no” he also get cocky when I joke around with him by saying I hate him he replies with no you don’t. These things are confusing me and just getting worse. He rarely asks me to come over, even when I drop hints that I am not busy or bored. What concerns me is that we are very early in our relationship and I am already having issues. I don’t know what to do – because I do truly like him a lot – I even considered the L word as a possibility in the near future and I worked really hard to get to this point with him so I don’t want it to fall apart.


I feel like he doesn’t like me or isn’t interested but according to what I heard he is in fact “crazy about me” but he sure as hell doesn’t act like it. PLEASE HELP!!!

p.s we are very sexually active and I can’t help but wonder if this is the basis for our relationship? We have sex every time we are together. Bad sign?

– Lacy

Min Min says:
May 6, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Hi Lacy,

Your boyfriend is fine. He’s just shy. If you know he’s shy, then you can try to be more expressive, but not only drop hints. Don’t just txt when he’s having trouble expressing himself; talk to him instead. Tell him to ask you to come over. If he’s shy, you have to be bold.

I find you a bit try to project your bf and your relationship with him. He proceeds slowly while you worked really hard to get to this point with him so you don’t want it to fall apart. You didn’t proceed naturally. You invest in this relationship and expect the return. You are disappointed if the return doesn’t meet your expectation.

What you need to do is to think and ask yourself what you really want. If you truly like him and find problems between you, you should first ask yourself if you are able to solve the problems. e.g. Are you able to be bold but don’t expect him not to be shy? If not, then the problems will always be there. If yes, then you should openly talk to him about your feelings and concerns as what you do to me.

As for sex, I have no comment on that, because apparently it’s hard to control.

Arman says:
May 12, 2010 at 10:12 pm

I find your story very interesting and only have one piece of advice for you: Do not pressure him to change!!!

He’s doing all the right things to keep the flame in your relationship alive. If he changes, you will find him predictable, boring, and a total wuss! Of course, you cannot help liking him right now, because he’s pushing all your attraction buttons the right way. Just enjoy the ride, and yes I know, you will try to change his ways anyways! Just hope it doesn’t work!

I Have to Make the Move All the Time

I have a boyfriend that is pretty shy..I can say..he is always shy to even talk to me at school…ppl do know we are going out and all…but it’s like I have to make the move all the time you know??…what do you think I should do?? Should I break up with him? How can I make him change??

– Love_angel


Dokter_luvalot says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:40 pm
u should take him for a walk to be alone with him
then tell him how much he means to u
then ask him to come out of his shell a bit to show the world u 2 luv each other and that your taken

Azariah says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:40 pm
tell him as a woman u shouldnt have to move all the time and if he truly likes u he will speak out there is nothing wrong with being shy but he has to be a man

Jackie says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:41 pm
hey well i just want to say just give him time he will talk one of these days. he is kinda like me or at least i was like that when i was first going out with my boyfriend but hen i started talking and everything. and now we love eachother to death we talk on the phone like all day and at school we cant stop talking either. we are really close. just keep your head up and dont give up ok

November 27, 2009 at 12:41 pm

LiLo says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I think you should make that boy like you more so he will talk to you okay dont feel bad girl its always like that for some of them

Tyler says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:41 pm
….hey…..i would be glad to have someone that doesnt push u to do things you dont want to do….i just got out of a relationship with a girl that was a bit too pushy if you know what i mean. dont dump him for that….

Carla says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:42 pm
hei.. gurl your boy will learn, someday!… don’t dare to break up with him.. soon, you will be impressed with his deeds… why i’m telling you this?.. hmmm… let me say my bf was once like yours… but later on, he adjusted… he turned to be very sweet to me, very thoughtful… and mind you…. my bf is very faithful… i can always trust him…. hold on!… just pray!…. being quiet is not the basis…. god bless!

Megan says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:42 pm
hey i think u should give him a chance if you love him? i feel that don’t change him. That ok if you are making all the moves thats good when u are making all the moves

Should I call her

Okay on Monday I went to best buy to get some CDs. As I was walking in I saw one of my brothers old friends(He doesn’t talk to her because he has a girl friend now and she is mad about that)I’ve had a crush on her for quite sometime. So I decided that I was going to try to get her number. So I wandered the whole store for about an hour trying to get the balls to go up to her and talk to her. So I finally pick the CDs I wanted to buy and I went in line(she is a cashier).


There were two cashiers so I had a 50{6cfcd0bdce77e89f6643114f1e6c62d79211dd6f899a492316d2f6e8299594ce} chance that I would get her register. I decided if I didn’t her register then it wasn’t meant to be and I’d go home. But as fate would have it I got her register. So as soon as I walked up I could tell she knew I was my brothers brother, So I used that to break the ice and said “hey your my brothers friend aren’t you”. So we started talking about stuff. Then somehow we started talking about my brother and how much of a punk he is ever since he started going out with his girlfriend.

I was trying so hard to find a way to ask her for her number but couldn’t do it. Then the next person in line came up. So I felt a little rushed(but it was just in my mind)So I decided to say bye and left the store. As I was walking out of the store I told my cousin(my ride) what happened. I felt ashamed that I wimped out. But then I got this gut reaction telling me to go back to her and get her number. So I acted on my gut reaction and went back in. I said “I don’t know where my ride is but I was thinking maybe we should hang out sometime.” She said something like “yeah that would be cool, but do you have a car?” I said “no, I thought you did?” She said “Yeah but I’m not insured.” I was like damn, then I said “well maybe I can work something out, I’ll probably get my car in two weeks.” “She said okay cool.” I said as a test to see if she was serious “I’ll get your number from my brother” she said “No I’ll give it to you now”. She gave me her number and I can’t really remember what happened after that, it all happened so fast. I remember saying bye and leaving. But she was really friendly and cool and had no problem giving me her number.

So I left and went home. I decided that I’ll call her the next day. So the next day comes by and I decided to call her at 9:30 at night(It gives a new episode of the real world on Tuesday at 10, I remember when she used to talk to my brother that she would always be home at that time watching the real world). So I some how got the balls to call her but she didn’t pick up, and I didn’t leave a message. She never returned the call, it made me wonder if she didn’t recognize the number(she should have the number(she used to talk to my brother from my house number), Maybe she didn’t know who it was and because I didn’t leave a message she didn’t call back. But despite that fact I was pretty ashamed that she didn’t call back. So I was ready to give up but then decided to call back but on Thursday.

So on Thursday I came back from work around 1 pm. I decided to call her again. So once again I tried to summon the balls to call again. So I dialed her number, but accidentally pressed the last digit twice, then my sister comes in and says “What are you doing? I’m gonna use the phone. Who are you calling? It’s ringing.” I panicked and told her to hang up. So I wondered if I dialed the last digit twice will it still call her? So I tried that on my cell phone to see if it would call, and it did! So I called her number and only let it ring a few times! I was so mad! So without thinking I called her number, and no one picked up again. But this time I left a message I said something like “Hey Elizabeth(her name), this is Andrew(my name) Oscars(my brother’s name) brother. I was calling to see whats up. When you get back give me a call, bye.”

Like the idiot I am I forgot to leave my number! But I assumed she still has my number because she used to call my house when she talked to my brother. I never gave her my number at best buy because I assumed she still had it. Well now it’s Saturday and still no call. Now I need help on what to do, should I call her and leave my number? But if I call it might make me seem desperate because I called twice plus that mistake call. What if she didn’t call on purpose because she doesn’t want to talk to me? I after all did leave a message saying who I was. Even if she calls she could think “Why is he calling? He doesn’t have a car?”(I have a car but I just need to get my license. I have started practicing driving so I should be ready for the test in two weeks). Should I go back to best buy when I have a car? Should I just give up? What would you do?

– Wordno