The Way to Express and Interpret Love

If you haven’t heard about the “5 Love Languages”, you really should know and learn your partner’s Love Language and your own Love Language as well. It’s another way other than temperament to help you better communicate with your partner and enhance your love relationship from a different angle – the way you both express and interpret love.

The 5 Love Languages is a concept discovered by Gary Chapman. He noticed that everyone uses one primary Love Language to express and interpret love.

If Love is a language just like English or French, we can easily understand and conclude how important Love Language is. How can a couple communicate and get along if they speak a different language that their partner doesn’t understand?

To learn a language like French or Spanish is not easy, but to learn a Love Language or even all Love Languages is certainly possible.

I was once heavily flattered and when I expressed my opinion that it was too much I was told the guy’s assumption that all girls like sweet words. I wouldn’t say that I dislike sweet words, but they’re not my primary Love Language and they don’t work well to me when they are overused.

I also received gifts that did not work for me either. I appreciate them but I feel like I cannot “afford” them. I also appreciate those who would silently help me but I find myself too independent and whenever I am offered help I would try to solve issues on my own.

When I learned the 5 Love Languages, I realized that people speak different Love Languages and that to improve a relationship we should appreciate the other’s Love Language and also let others know our Love Language. In this way, both parties will be happy.

What’s more, I find that a good way to know a person’s Love Language is to observe the way he or she expresses feelings to you. I was once flattered a lot, then the person who flattered me would probably be happy if I said to him sweet words in return. The person who likes to buy me gifts will probably be happy if I just do the same for him.

My Love Language is the Quality Time, but interestingly, I’m not clingy. What I care about is the quality of the time when spent together but not the length of the time.

What’s your partner’s Love Language? Test it and you’ll figure it out.

Prem says:
September 12, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Love language is very special in its own way. Different people use different interpretations as their love language. For me it was always the eye contact, yes I still remember how we use to communicate using our eyes. I think everybody should try this to see and this could actually tell you whether the person with whom you are in love is into you or not, just look into their eyes and speak casually. I know it’s very difficult to keep a eye contact for long. But you should surely give it a try. Other things we did was exchange sweet messages at morning and night. A single morning message from your loved one can make your day perfect :). Who doesn’t like it when someone cares to message at early morning just to wish you ;)?

Your Future is in your Hands

I started to be interested in palm reading sometime when I tried to search for a light on my life, hoping that someone would shed light and tell me what my future would hold, and who would enter my life. Eventually I came across a very special book about hand psychology, a new insight into solving problems and was amazed by the close relationship between palm reading and psychology. It’s fascinating to know that your life and future are in your hands and to learn the skills needed to read palms.

 

Is palm reading accurate? I would say what your hands tells you is the truth, but the accuracy of the interpretation of your hands depends highly on palmists’ moral sense, talents, skills, their own experiences and how many hands they read.

Palmists are intuitive and insightful, but not all are gifted, skillful, experienced and ethical: They can be subjective. Different palmists can interpret the same hand differently.

Palm reading is a real study of hands not fortune-telling. Your hands reveal a lot of information, but not all the information revealed can be interpreted accurately. The hand is the fact, but the interpretation may not be.

Just like our temperaments, hands can also have distinguished types, four types, eight types, sixteen types. If an intuitive person sees enough hands, he is able to feel a pattern out of the different types of hands, to group the similar ones together. That’s how palm reading was born.

Your hands also show your health condition. However, palm reading is subjective rather than an objective science, therefore, it is only useful when combined with, confirmed, and tested by science and real life.

Even if a palmist foretells the future of another person correctly, it is not a guarantee that the palmist can read your palm accurately. Some palmists are good at noticing one pattern or sign, but not others.

It’s your own discretion and intuition to perceive if what the palmist tells you is useful and how useful it is.

Your future is in YOUR hands anyway.

Prem says:
September 11, 2013 at 1:34 pm
Palm reading is interesting when someone says not accurately but at-least something that is believable, I still remember an incident which happened 11 months ago when I came across a palm reader and without thinking twice I went straight to him as I was always interested in these stuffs especially when someone says they could predict our future ???? and I am sure not only me but like me most of them would be interested in palm reading etc. When I asked him please look at my hand and tell me what’s stored in for my future and especially how my relationship stars is ???? YES I was in a relationship at that time so naturally the first thing I asked him about was relationship and he started looking at my palm and told me many things which brought a smile on my face at that time, but as time passed I learnt whatever he predicted was just mouth wash, just for the sake of acquiring some money he tried to make people happy by telling any random things. But yes as mentioned in the post all palmists would not predict accurately and I think that was my bad I got a bad palmist to read my hand ;). So if you’re planning to visit a palmist soon please make sure to know about the palmist well or else you would be the next victim ????

I Met a Woman Who Has What I am Lacking in my Marriage

I have been married to a woman I absolutely adore for 2 years. At times she has expressed being unhappy, but she always realized that with our current situation, she needed to give it time.

To give some background, here is our current situation: we live 3 hours apart, in separate states, but we see each other every weekend. She refuses to move to where I am, and I have no problems moving to where she is except that I would need to switch careers and take a severe pay cut to make it work.

I never expressed unhappiness about our situation, but it is a difficult one. We so badly want to be with each other every day.

Well, the issue here is this: now she is totally happy, and I am unhappy. I am unhappy because she is unaffectionate. I am not talking about bedroom performance because that would make me shallow. I am talking about cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc. She is very unaffectionate, and I am very affectionate. Furthermore, I am growing increasingly unhappy with our living situation. I have been trying to find a way for 2 years to get myself up there, but to this point it has been a financial impossibility. And with her refusing to move down here, I can’t and won’t force her into anything. But I am the type of guy who wants to be able to come home every night if I am with someone.

I have never cheated on my wife or any previous girlfriend I ever had. But here is where the struggle comes in. I met a woman who is clearly affectionate and who wants to be with me. As far as compatibility goes, she has what I am lacking in my current marriage. She is affectionate, and I can actually physically see her every day, not just weekends. I do find myself thinking about this other woman and wondering what it would be like to be with her. I know I have probably already cheated on my wife emotionally, even though I haven’t laid a finger on this other woman, and this bothers me.

I have never cheated, I don’t believe in divorce, and I don’t want to break my wife’s heart by walking out on a marriage that is increasingly making me unhappy. To do any of these would go against my scruples, making my decision harder.

Is my communicating with this other woman revealing traits that my marriage doesn’t have? If so, how do I fix it? Should I stop talking to this woman, even though I believe she could make me happier? Or is this an infatuation that I have with this woman, and by ceasing to further communicate, all my struggles will go away? I don’t know. That’s why I need relationship advice.

I love my wife to death, and I know she loves me too. I can’t continue hurting her, even though she doesn’t know what I am doing.

What do I do?

– confused

The Internal Struggles of an Idealist

Ever since I can remember, I have always had a curiosity for this deep inner knowing of “Self”. This all consuming and magnificent obsession has driven me to find new answers about human behavior. I recently ran across the relationship book “Please Understand Me 2” and found that I was a Champion/Healer Idealist temperament.

 

I am struggling at the moment with a similar feeling of loneliness and alienation. I live in one of the most conservative and traditional areas in the country and find myself constantly curious about others behavior.

I ended up marrying a traditional Provider Guardian and have just really realized that I have tried to change her for the last 7 years of our marriage. I am deeply longing for connection and a “soul mate”, an understanding and a genuine sense that I am known (as described in the Idealist mates profile).

How do I deal with the fact that the person I am with doesn’t understand or maybe even isn’t possible of understanding what I am longing for in a connection with her? When I bring it up or try to communicate in any way it is perceived that we are just different and maybe not meant for each other.

I am at a loss and feel like you may have some insights about relationships dealing with this sort of dilemma. Specifically, about the internal struggles of the Idealist understanding the specific temperament of their mates, but resentful that their perceived notion cannot reciprocate the understanding. I guess what I want to know is, what do we do now that we know more about ourselves and the motivations that drive our sense of self. How can I address the loneliness?

– Unknown

The best thing to get rid of loneliness is to talk with your loved one, share your insights like you did now, it’s always a better option to communicate. Just speak your heart out and see how easily you could overcome your hurdles. Plan a trip together, try to explore about yourselves first. Ask and learn the likes and dislikes, do something which both of you love and if you both are altogether different from each other, then try to love what she loves and vice versa ???? it may be difficult at start but this small gesture can bring a positive change in your life. Live is too short then we think, let’s LIVE each and every moment the fullest.

Prem says:
September 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm
The best thing to get rid of loneliness is to talk with your loved one, share your insights like you did now, it’s always a better option to communicate. Just speak your heart out and see how easily you could overcome your hurdles. Plan a trip together, try to explore about yourselves first. Ask and learn the likes and dislikes, do something which both of you love and if you both are altogether different from each other, then try to love what she loves and vice versa ???? it may be difficult at start but this small gesture can bring a positive change in your life. Live is too short then we think, let’s LIVE each and every moment the fullest.

Please Understand Me II – The Book that Changed My Life

Do you believe that a book could change your life? I do; here’s one that changed mine. It’s called Please Understand Me and it has two versions. The version I read is the second version, Please Understand Me II.

Book Change Life

Is the change in me for the better? I can’t tell. I must have lost something if I benefited from the book because that’s the way it works. I cannot put my finger on what I lost so it must have been something much less important than what I gained.

FingerEvery Relationship You Have Is Different

I was in a deep depression because a precious friendship with a like-minded male friend had ended. It was a kind of perfect friendship journey that only happens once in one’s lifetime. It came to an end because we were too young and because I had not read this relationship book.

Too Young

Sometimes when you are sad about finishing a love relationship it’s not because you are still in love with him/her, rather, because you don’t understand how and why it has ended.

Why End

You always think you can learn from your previous failures if you know the reasons and move on to the next relationship. However love is never guaranteed to work out the next time either, simply because the next love relationship is different, the next person is different. You don’t understand who he/she is from your point of view.

Next one is different

Please Understand Me II” taught me to understand others better. I am the same person, the other person is unchanged; but by applying what I learnt in the book, I can understand the other person better. It makes for happier relationships in every aspect of my life, not just the romance side.

Each individual has his or her own path and destiny to fulfil. I see what I gain and I appreciate it. I know that real life is imperfect, so I am content in my lack of perfection and at least my memory is of perfection, like in the movie “The Favourite Game”. The number of friends other people have around are their victories but just like Canada’s tranquillity, without such crowds, I’m content with what I have and what I have had; those memories are my fortune, my treasure.

Perfection

Thinking about Temperament Compatibility

So, to the book. It has a Temperament Sorter. When you try the short-cut and use the Sorter, you usually get an inaccurate image of yourself because you do not yet truly understand the questions and answers; perhaps you don’t even know yourself! You won’t really know yourself until you thoroughly read this relationship book a few times and in great detail.

Keirsey’s Major Breakthrough

By the way, I would point out a major difference between Keirsey Intelligence Types and the popular Myers-Briggs Psychological Function Types to make sure that we are talking about the same “types”. Myers-Briggs Type Indicator contributed to Keirsey’s theory, yet it’s imperfect and Keirsey corrected and detailed it in a way that makes Keirsey’s more worthwhile. I have to say that to this point Keirsey’s contribution is enormous.

Keirsey believes that there are only two types of basic human actions: how we communicate with each other, and how we use tools to accomplish our goals - that we are concrete or abstract in our word usage, and either utilitarian or cooperative in our choice and use of tools.
This idea of defining personality differs from the Myers-Briggs point of view because Keirsey refers to what can be observed – words and tools. It sets Myer-Briggs’ and Keirsey’s views of personality rather far apart. 
While Myer-Briggs assumed that personality could be pieced together from independent elements, Keirsey believes that personality comes about not by an integration of elements, but by differentiation within an already integrated whole, emerging gradually as an individuated configuration.

The Most Important Take-Away

If you want to save a vital love relationship from failure or if you want to grow and keep a successful love relationship when it is just starting it is very helpful for you or better still you and your partner to both read this relationship book.

When you have question marks as to why some of your previous love relationships have ended in similar ways, it is important for you to understand who you are attracted to, why you are attracted and why these relationships ended.

AttractionPeople are Different

The author’s main idea is that people are different! You can’t say that someone is odd just because he or she is different from you! People deserve to be respected for what they are. It is a good start if you know who you are and know your image in others’ eyes. You can’t change yourself, but if you know your own character you know how to do others the least harm by keeping them at the best distance. “Harm” can be anything that makes others feel uncomfortable or sad.

Understand Others

Once you understand yourself, then the next step for you is to understand others. You may be proud of your spontaneous actions, but you need to come to understand that some of your uninvited surprise visits make reserved people uncomfortable rather than happy.

You will understand why some people are so demonstrative while some others sound cold. You will understand that if you happen to fall in love with the latter then you are always going to crave a bit more open affection from your partner. You will come to understand that love cannot be measured by sweetness; the hidden feelings are probably the deepest. Your partner could also feel uncomfortable with your constant expressions of affection.

Sweetness

This book changed my life. I learnt that I am an artistic idealist with guardian and rational influences. I was able to analyse my past love relationships and came to realise how little understanding there was in any of them. I do believe that if I had read Please Understand Me II earlier in my life then my relationships might have worked out differently.

Change Your Life