I feel like my husband is a narcissist, but can’t be sure. He obsesses over the college where he graduated and everything that he associates with. He displays everything related to his college’s name so he can visibly see the name when he passes by it. He speaks to himself (pretends to be an announcer at one of his college’s games), he speaks in third person always (“Daddy loves you”, “You need to love your husband”, etc.), can’t apologize (if when that miracle happens, it is only spoken as, “My bad”. He has to be forced to apologize and does so in a rage. He has a spoiled brat attitude, deserving and entitled.) He displays overwhelming pride for his relatives, his childhood, friends, etc., as long as that pride is a direct association to who “he thinks” he is. He is right, never wrong and will pass blame or avoid anything that denys him that glory (which happens to be me!). He once said that the reason all my boyfriends broke up with me was because they weren’t going to put up with me. He wasn’t even around at the time I dated the other guys, how would he know this? Furthermore, I broke up with the majority of the guys I dated and had never even discussed this with him. Narcissistic telepathy, I guess!
Am I off the mark or does he seem to be narcissistic? I’m at a loss here.
Min Min says:
May 11, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Actually no one would change himself / herself without an attack to make him / her realize it. Would you change yourself?
I’m sorry I have to say in your case he won’t change since you won’t leave him, then he won’t lose you, so he has no reason to change.
If you leave him and he changed then you would go back to him again and the narcissism could come back again.
If you leave him forever then his changing or not has nothing to do with you any more.
To expect someone else to change is never a solution. You can change yourself or just leave him in order to keep yourself happy. His changing or not is irrelevant.
May 11, 2011 at 5:28 pm
My husband is exactly the same way and I know he is a narcissist. He fits all of those attributes and then some. Its so hard to be with someone who is always right and is too busy being in love with themself to notice you or your wants or needs, yet constantly expects you to bend over backwards to their every wish. I havent figured out what to do myself. I left him once and we were seperated for a year, then he did the charm thing again and I ended up back with him. I love him more than anything but I cant take constantly being hurt, and I’m afraid because my decision will also affect our son. Can you ever truly cure a narcissist? And how would you know since they are so good at acting?