For the last nine years, my friend and I have been friends. What a redundant sentence. Anyway, I have always had a crush on her. At sometimes feeling that I love her. She has a little kid too. I love her little kid too.
Recently she and her long distance boyfriend have been talking about her moving up to where he lives. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to move; she did a lot of thinking and talking to her child’s father whom she hates. I told her I couldn’t make her decisions for her when she asked me as well.
On that same day, she sent me several texts saying, “Can I tell you something, and I hope this doesn’t change anything between us. But lately I have become subtly attracted to you. The way you are with my daughter, how nice you are to me.” So I answer and say “you deserve it, you’re a single mother and you do a lot.” She says “you’re missing the point.” So I tell her I feel the same way, and I love both her and her kid. I go to her work that night and take her to Dr. Pepper which is her favourite. We talk but not about the texts; I give her a hug. It becomes awkward.
She goes up for the weekend to her boyfriend’s house and for the interview. I later find out from a friend that she found out she couldn’t afford to move up there, and that her boyfriend won’t help her pay to move up there. She locks herself in the bathroom, and breaks up with him. So, she doesn’t talk to me much the next week. I ask her via text if it was something I said or what. She answers that she is just tired, and stressed, and she doesn’t want to do anything with anyone. So a week goes by and she goes back up north to her boyfriend’s house.
She comes back on Sunday. I’m with my friend’s watching football. She texts me and says some “finish watching your movie”. I had started watching a movie at her house with her at some point. I tell her “No, just delete it. I’m busy and can we talk about this later”. Completely not like me to say but I do it on the advice of my friends. She says “wow… sorry, didn’t mean to bug you”. I say “you aren’t bugging me, I’m just busy and can’t talk right now”.
She normally talks to me or texts me regularly, but now I feel I’ve destroyed not only any chance of a relationship but also our friendship. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I can sincerely say, I love this girl. I feel like I’ve scared her off. I need help! If I were an avid dater or had a lot of girl options, I could probably keep my mind off her but I can’t stop thinking about her. It tears me up inside. I don’t know what to do. I need help. Please help.