Unicorn Hunting: The Quest for Perfection in Online Dating

Millions of people every day log on to popular online dating websites from their home computer or their phone to find someone to connect to. When you are on the quest for a new relationship or casual encounter, you might scroll through a lot of pictures and profiles to find one you want to message. Although there are many options, some people are incredibly picky about who they consider. Knowing what you want is a good thing, but being too focused on perfection can ruin your chances of finding a date.

What is Unicorn Hunting?

This is not about ancient tapestries or fantasy movies. The phrase “unicorn hunting” is used to describe someone who is looking for perfection in a new boyfriend or girlfriend. The unicorn is the perfect person who checks all their boxes on a list of must-have criteria. Unfortunately for the people who are also looking for a date, achieving this level of fantasy perfection is just that: fantasy.

It all comes down to unrealistic expectations. The chance of finding the absolute perfect person and identifying them from their online dating portfolio is very slim.

What is Wrong With Strict Criteria for Online Dating?

People who give relationship advice sometimes tell you never to settle for less than what you truly want. This attitude taken to the extreme leads to unicorn hunting, which makes it difficult to find anyone.

If your checklist for the perfect partner is too long, detailed, or exclusionary, no one will be able to live up to your expectations.

If you find this so-call perfect person, this unicorn in human form, it can introduce unexpected conflict into your relationship. The person may seem perfect on paper or a screen. If they end up being not so perfect in person, you may feel let down or cheated. If you accept that everyone has flaws from the start, you will avoid being disappointed.

How to Avoid Unicorn Hunting

People approach online dating in many different ways. Some are just looking for a fun night out with an attractive person. Others want to casually date, they simply want someone to call up on the weekend to share an outing. Still others are looking for a serious relationship that lasts as long as possible.

Seeking perfection can stop you from having a good time and meeting someone special.
The one person you date or enter a relationship with is not solely responsible for your sense of self-worth and happiness. That is up to you. If you look to the perfect unicorn to provide everything you ever dreamed of, you have truly stepped into the realm of fantasy.

Forget Perfection: Online Dating Tips

In the time of legends, brave knights set out from the castle and hunted a unicorn for days, weeks, months, and even years. Some never found one at all and wasted their whole life on a quest for this fantastic beast. Similarly, seeking perfection in online dating can consume much of your time and energy. It can ultimately leave you lonely for long periods.

Come up with a list of criteria that you desire in someone, that you refused to compromise on. It can be serious things like smoking, employment status, educational level, age, religion, interests, whether he or she want to have children. You decide what’s most important to you, things you cannot give up for someone.

Take time to get to know the person that wants your heart. Make sure they are willing to you their heart too. Even without the perfect unicorn profile, if you are open, you can find people who you will get along with wonderfully.

No matter what type of connection you want, the most important thing to remember is that every person is human and fallible. If you discover someone who seems perfect to you, they might actually be a bot. Keep in mind, that some people lie about who they are, what they do, and even their interests, just to try to attract you. Look for someone, who is real and compatible with you.

Don’t be lull into a false sense of security, believing you have found that perfect one,  only to discover it’s based on superficial criteria.

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