Have you ever been the one in the relationship that’s always calling or texting first? One of the biggest complaints from some, is, they are the one giving the most attention in the relationship.
Is it always you who come up with date ideas? Or ask your partner to go out with you? Do you make the suggestions, initiate romance, and take the reins when it comes to relationship matters. If you find yourself making all the effort in the relationship, you will quickly come to think that your partner is not that much into you. Why is it, he never text you first? Why does he expect you to initiate communicating with him first? Why don’t he ever ask you to go out to a movie or check out a new restaurant? This lack of interest in contacting and seeing you, may indicate, that your partner has drift away from you.
When It’s All On You – 3 Ways to Fix This Problem
To feel appreciated and wanted, you must require the other person to make an effort to communicate in words and deeds their affection to you. In every relationship, there should be an expectation of mutual attentiveness and caring for each other. Never play emotional games to test someone. It is not an option to even consider. There are better ways to fix an emotional detachment problems. So, avoid meaningless childish maneuvers to get what you want. It is counterproductive. The end result will cause resentment and a negative response, instead of the positive reaction you desire.
First-Reduce Contact- Some people need more communication and contact in a relationship than others. If you text three times a day or call every night to talk for hours, you are not leaving space for the other person to feel he needs to initiate contact.
Pull back a bit. Give the other person time to come to you. This is not about playing hard to get, even though there are those who enjoy the chase. If you find yourself making all the plans and starting all the conversations, ask yourself whether you are being overly needy. Are you giving him a chance to contribute his thoughts and feelings to the relationship.
Second – Tell Him or Her What You Need
Open communication is the cornerstone of a quality relationship. If you are not getting what you feel you need from the other person, let them know in a respectful and loving way. Do not nag the other person by saying, “Why don’t you ever text me first?” Setting up an interrogation is not the way to discuss things with your partner. Nor is it the best way to get what you need.
Use words like, “I” instead of “you.” This softens the blow and makes your statements less accusatory. Say, “I would really love it, if you could come up with our next date idea,” or “I love hearing from you throughout the day. It is such a great feeling to get a surprise to you.”
Third – Be Honest With Yourself – Unfortunately, some things end. Lack of communication and initiation can be a sign that there is no longer an interest in continuing the relationship. Give a honest assessment of the two of you as a couple. Ask yourself, if he can satisfy all of your emotional needs. As much as it hurts, sometimes you have to admit that the two of you, no longer can remain together and be happy.
If you do not like being the one who always initiates things in the relationship, make your opinions and feelings known in a non-argumentative and non-accusatory way. Keep the lines of communication open.
Only then will you to be able to get what you need to nurture your relationship and find the fulfillment you want.