Say No Nicely

How to Say No Nicely When He Asks You Out

If you’re single, getting asked out on a date is usually a welcome occurrence. When a guy asks you out, it makes you feel desirable and attractive. It’s a form of flattery. Hopefully the guy asking you out is someone you want to get to know. If he’s not, you’re going to have to turn him down. It’s never fun to reject someone – if you think it is, then a nice word to describe you might be “witch.” When you’re caught off guard with a date offer from someone you’re just not interested in, both parties can find themselves in a pretty awkward situation. Before it happens to you again, here are some tips that will help you be prepared to turn him down in a nice and easy way.

Keep Your Composure

Unexpected date offers can cause you to have a variety of sudden reactions. You might be tempted to laugh, scowl, or turn and run. You might find yourself stuttering and stammering to come up with a response. As hard as it is, do your best to keep your composure. Your gut reaction will be written all over your face if you don’t remain cool and calm. Take a breath before you respond. Your immediate response might not be the nicest one, so stop and think.

Be Polite and Concise

You want to be polite when turning down an unwanted date request, and it’s not hard to do when you take an extra second to consider your response. No matter what the situation is, simply say, “No, thank you,” in the nicest way possible. That three-word reply should be enough. There is usually no need to explain why you’re not interested. You should never insult his personality, looks, or anything else. It took a lot of nerve to ask you out, so don’t hurt his pride any more.

If Explanation is Warranted…

Sometimes you might want to qualify your “no, thank you” with a little more information, but be careful when doing this. You are never required to give an explanation. But if the reason you are turning him down has nothing to do with him, especially if you might have said yes under other circumstances, you could let him know (that you have a boyfriend, are moving across the country next week, are gay, etc.).

Don’t Give False Hope

One of the worst things you can tell a guy after you’ve turned him down is that you’d like to be just friends. This tends to bruise a guy’s ego even more, so leave any talk of friendship out of this immediate conversation. And under no circumstances should you ever accept a date request if you don’t really want to go out with him. This will lead him on, and he’ll inevitably be hurt anyway when you cancel. And if you’re not romantically interested, you shouldn’t go on a romantic date, period. It’s best to politely say no from the beginning. Every guy should be able to handle rejection when it’s given politely.

Nikki White is a clubber and freelance writer who is quite an experienced dater. She often writes and blogs about relationships and how to go out and enjoy some Vegas nightlife.

Photo Credit: Annie Wu.